"What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more." - Haddaway
Okay I haven't seen He's Just Not That Into You 2 --uh I mean Valentine's Day, so this is not a review. It's more of my thoughts on what I think it is and what I think about Valentine's Day in general.
Now essentially what I got out of the trailer for Valentine's Day is that Ashton Kutcher and Jessica Alba are in love, Topher Grace and Anne Hathaway are in love, Hector Elizondo and Shirley Maclaine are in love, Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift are in love, a couple of little kids are in love, Bradley Cooper and Julia Roberts are talking about being in love, Jennifer Garner and Jessica Biel are mad because they are not in love, Eric Dane seems to be posing for a magazine cover, George Lopez is acting like himself, and Jaime Foxx is looking back on that time he won the Best Actor Oscar. So yeah, what do we get in this movie: a lot of puppy love and a helluva lot of pretty people. I mean seriously, do only beautiful people fall in love on Valentine's Day? Or any day in movie world? Where's the normies? Sure you got Shirley MaClaine and Hector Elizondo as an elder couple but they were attractive people when they were younger and still are if you think about it.
There are reasons I will not see this movie. One is because, yes, I do think this looks like a cheaper and more friendly version of He's Just Not That Into You except this is sounding like He's Just Totally Into You and You Are Into Him and Can Be In Each Other. Man, a title longer than Don't Be a Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice in Da Hood, or Precious: Based on The Novel "Push" by Sapphire. But yeah, whereas He's Just Not That Into You was about relationships that are very complicated and some even very flawed, Valentine's Day seems to be just a Hallmark Card of a movie involving several couples from several different romantic comedies. If I was gonna have that I would have included interesting couples like the ones from Punch Drunk Love, Say Anything, (500) Days of Summer, Annie Hall, Forest Gump, and Gone With The Wind.
Gosh I'm making a lot of references here aren't I?
Even the actors aren't that inviting. Sure I like almost all of them, but they don't seem to be doing anything but being lovey dovey sweet. And hey that's fine by me, but dammit I want more than that. Couples like Grace and Hathaway, MaClaine and Elizondo, and Cooper and Roberts give me some hope but it's otherwise a loss. It's strange seeing Jennifer Garner and Jessica Biel, two girls I know can be bad asses, keep themselves in this repetitive genre of film when I think they could stretch for much more. Sorry Ashton Kutcher, not even your boyishly goofy charisma can't grip me. Director Garry Marshall, strives for everyone who is anyone to see this movie. In filmmaking terms, this is genius. He even gets the mutated offspring of both the country lover demographic and the Twihard demographic by having Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner make out. That's something weird I found in the trailers too, Taylor Swift (in what should be her breakout role into mainstream films) appears to be really off putting even from the trailers. This is very apparent where she seems to be doing some kind of bad go go dance on a football field. I'm sure she'd like to thank the Academy.
Now Garry Marshall is great romantic comedy director, he did the very lovely and graceful Pretty Woman back in the 90s and got Julia Roberts huge fame. It's almost a wonder Richard Gere didn't show up in this celebrity orgy of a Garry Marshall cast. With Marshall as director and most of the stars, Valentine's Day might not be a bad film like my sources have claimed.
But the main flaw of the movie, that segues into my other topic, is that the movie seems to be the latest huge promotion for, you guessed it: VALENTINE'S DAY. That's right I agree with the notion that Valentine's Day was originally only a huge monstrous scheme by the greeting card industry to make more money. That's right folks, Hallmark thrives on your LOVE. All of the traditions of Valentine's Day are carefully orchestrated just to get you to shop more. It's not just Hallmark or other greeting card vices, it's just about every business that survives on consumerism. You shop for candy, you shop for jewelry, you shop for some present, you shop for those shoes she wanted a few weeks ago, you shop for the watch he was staring at every time you went to the mall. You can't go wrong, one way or another you'll buy something or some things and there is an intake of the spoils to the stores downtown.
The funny thing is, they've tricked you into thinking you are buying all of these things out of love. If you thought you were doing the things you were doing out of love that would mean that you do love said person or people if you're freaky in the sack. If you have love for one another than, as the late and great John Lennon once said, that is all you need. There is no law that says you have to buy a gift for your intimate one. It probably won't satisfy them anyway. Maybe what will satisfy is something they haven't been asking for, not something with a price tag on it. Maybe a nice dinner, a long talk about the little things, sex (I'm no expert, but I think that might be a pleasing gift, unless you are terrible in bed, but we won't get into that). If you feel the need to buy something for your loved one than do it, it is the thought that counts but what also counts is the love you have to give. Give love. Oh and for those Garners and Biels out there who think you are worthless for not having some boy toy worshipping the ground you walk on or just shooting the shit with you, being alone on Valentine's Day is not such a bad thing. I mean, you could be alone on your anniversary or your Birthday, days when people should be there to love you. Being alone on Valentine's Day means as much as any other day. Now depending on the person this can be a good old fashioned joy of solitude day or it could be another down in the dumps, I'm all outta love day. It's the former for this blogger. Now to save myself from some hypocrite bashing, I'll say I am only a teenager and do not know a lot about love or care a whole lot about Valentine's Day. I feel the same way about Columbus Day, to me it is just a made up holiday with some bogus messages.
You know come to think of it, it's February 15th. Valentine's Day is over. What the hell am I writing this for?
Uh...This has been a late post from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Heroes Redemption: Conclusion
"It's a brave new world." - Sylar
After watching the last act of our latest season of Heroes I can tell you what my thoughts on it and the show in general is.
Now when we last left off, the new villain Samuel is clearly big trouble, Claire and Tracy have joined him it seems, Hiro was stuck speaking nerd, Sylar gets his body back, Peter loses his brother forever, and not a lot happened to get to that point. Now I must admit, this was a pretty dull season. Season 2 was more entertaining and I didn't really like season 2. Nothing happens for so many episodes that they have to have everything pick up within the last two.
Characters like Tracy Struass, Matt Parkman, and any number of the carnival folk are here just to fill space. The other characters just seem to be rehashing their same old dilemmas once again. I will never understand how after all of this Hiro has not matured even a little bit. Any growth in character in one episode dissolves by the next episode and Sylar going all redemptive doesn't count because he's already done that before. Also we are never given much insight into The Carnival's background, or the background of any of it's characters for that matter.
To critique a few character arcs for this season, I will begin with Matt Parkman. Parkman's arc was really cool before the hiatus. He had Sylar, his most hated enemy trapped inside of his mind and fought to maintain control of his own body and when he couldn't he still foiled Sylar's plans. That whole arc went from goofy to cool a lot and I really enjoyed. After that he seemed content with a normal life and didn't do much of anything after that. Lame. Claire broke from her "I wanna be normal" phase to her "I wanna save everything" phase right on cue just like last time. Thanks for originality Heroes. I also I'm quite positive the show was afraid to explore Claire's relationship with her roommate Gretchen. They just avoided it episode and episode again, until Claire was convinced she should stop being afraid and go for a more serious relationship at the end of an episode. But don't worry that was chucked out the window next episode for her fear of reaching out again. They kissed, we saw it, don't just glaze over it with holding hands. I mean Claire hasn't had a serious relationship since Wes the flying boy from season 2, give the girl a break or make her Sylar's evil wench already, you know he wants it and Claire just might go bad someday. Then there was Lydia from The Carnival, who really didn't fit well at all. Sure she was fine as hell and I cared about her on some level, but I had no idea what was going on with her. One moment she is a loyal squeeze than the head of an uprising. Also, what the hell was her power. First she could show what people needed or were through tattoes on her back, then she could feel it by touch, then she could reach out to people from far away places. Some fucking clarity here Heroes? Tracy Strauss' arc was dropped as soon as possible for reasons unknown, maybe it had to do with Ali Larter's somewhat substantial career. If you can't keep her on the show, than kill her off and if you need her back make up some lame ass excuse like you did with her other character Nikki. Yeah but essentiall Tracy just shows up to help Noah when he's in a particularly big jam. Mohinder shows up for two and a half episodes to burn a film, get pumped full of drugs and then build a compass. I was really confused when Noah Bennet was supplied a backstory before a backstory near the end of the season. I mean, really? Badass agent Noah Bennet got his start as the middle class car dealer/struggling playwright whose pregnant wife is killed by a telekinetic and he wants revenge. That is how he got his start?! I expected more from you Heroes. Hiro Nakamura was not very interesting at all during this season. The only time he was interesting was when he was with the love of his life Charlie, the waitress he went back in time to save. Otherwise, he was still nerdy, childish Hiro. Seriously, after four seasons of peril, loss of family and friends and pain, you would think this overgrown ten year old would act his age. Peter, the only real hero, was never uninteresting. He was always driven and then very disillusioned after the death of his brother and we felt his pain because we cared about Nathan too and didn't want to lose him either. He is full of hate that he and I wanted to dish out on his nemesis Sylar. Sylar, the villain always on a neverending journey of self discovery. Sylar is the only reason this volume of Heroes was titled Redemption. Yes, when the hiatus ended Sylar had already threatened and tormented Matt Parkman, killed innocent bystanders, attempted to massacre Peter and Angela Petrelli, and then destroyed the last inkling that was Nathan Petrelli. When it returned, Sylar, you guessed it, wanted to repent and be a good person. In an earlier episode Hiro went back in time to save his long lost love and told Sylar along the way that he would become extremely powerful in the future but would still die alone and unloved. This made him think a little bit and led him on a path of redemption. I liked where this went, especially when Parkman traps Sylar and then accidentally Peter inside his worst nightmare: a world where he is all alone. In what seems like years in the nightmare, Peter and Sylar work together and eventually Sylar completely repents and Peter lets go of his anger toward the man he once was. I liked that, but still I always imagined Heroes eventually leveling out to Peter and Sylar in a fight to the death. At the season finale, when Sylar states, with utter pride and sureness, "I'm a hero." I believe him. Hope he doesn't just drop this like he did last time he became a hero.
Heroes ends off with Samuel bringing his Carnival to New York. Here he forces Emma, the deaf girl with power of sound, to lure thousands of New Yorkers to Central Park where Samuel plans to run it into the ground as a way to show his power to the world. Most everyone arrives to stop him. Sylar quickly saves Emma and proves himself to be a hero. Claire, Noah, and Samuel's angered henchman Edgar manage to convince The Carnival that Samuel is evil, because seeing him destroy an entire town a few episodes before wasn't proof enough. They all start to leave and seeing as how Samuel needs super powered people around to amp his power he desperately begins to part the ground as they try to get away. Peter shows up however and copies his power so the two can duke it out. Hiro shows up and teleports The Carnival folk away and leave Samuel powerless. But oh, they blindside us at the end. Samuel is arrested, the heroes enjoy a victory, and Noah begins preparing a nice cover up. But then Claire goes into her "tired hiding" phase and reveals to the media her ability and changes everything. This is the start of the next volume of Heroes: Brave New World. A good start if you ask me.
With low ratings and reviews, Heroes may not get another season. But then ABC has a lot of spaces to fill in their line up, so a come back isn't out of the question. The actors certainly think it's possible. I'll still watch it if does return, I just pray it doesn't suffer again like it suffered here.
After watching the last act of our latest season of Heroes I can tell you what my thoughts on it and the show in general is.
Now when we last left off, the new villain Samuel is clearly big trouble, Claire and Tracy have joined him it seems, Hiro was stuck speaking nerd, Sylar gets his body back, Peter loses his brother forever, and not a lot happened to get to that point. Now I must admit, this was a pretty dull season. Season 2 was more entertaining and I didn't really like season 2. Nothing happens for so many episodes that they have to have everything pick up within the last two.
Characters like Tracy Struass, Matt Parkman, and any number of the carnival folk are here just to fill space. The other characters just seem to be rehashing their same old dilemmas once again. I will never understand how after all of this Hiro has not matured even a little bit. Any growth in character in one episode dissolves by the next episode and Sylar going all redemptive doesn't count because he's already done that before. Also we are never given much insight into The Carnival's background, or the background of any of it's characters for that matter.
To critique a few character arcs for this season, I will begin with Matt Parkman. Parkman's arc was really cool before the hiatus. He had Sylar, his most hated enemy trapped inside of his mind and fought to maintain control of his own body and when he couldn't he still foiled Sylar's plans. That whole arc went from goofy to cool a lot and I really enjoyed. After that he seemed content with a normal life and didn't do much of anything after that. Lame. Claire broke from her "I wanna be normal" phase to her "I wanna save everything" phase right on cue just like last time. Thanks for originality Heroes. I also I'm quite positive the show was afraid to explore Claire's relationship with her roommate Gretchen. They just avoided it episode and episode again, until Claire was convinced she should stop being afraid and go for a more serious relationship at the end of an episode. But don't worry that was chucked out the window next episode for her fear of reaching out again. They kissed, we saw it, don't just glaze over it with holding hands. I mean Claire hasn't had a serious relationship since Wes the flying boy from season 2, give the girl a break or make her Sylar's evil wench already, you know he wants it and Claire just might go bad someday. Then there was Lydia from The Carnival, who really didn't fit well at all. Sure she was fine as hell and I cared about her on some level, but I had no idea what was going on with her. One moment she is a loyal squeeze than the head of an uprising. Also, what the hell was her power. First she could show what people needed or were through tattoes on her back, then she could feel it by touch, then she could reach out to people from far away places. Some fucking clarity here Heroes? Tracy Strauss' arc was dropped as soon as possible for reasons unknown, maybe it had to do with Ali Larter's somewhat substantial career. If you can't keep her on the show, than kill her off and if you need her back make up some lame ass excuse like you did with her other character Nikki. Yeah but essentiall Tracy just shows up to help Noah when he's in a particularly big jam. Mohinder shows up for two and a half episodes to burn a film, get pumped full of drugs and then build a compass. I was really confused when Noah Bennet was supplied a backstory before a backstory near the end of the season. I mean, really? Badass agent Noah Bennet got his start as the middle class car dealer/struggling playwright whose pregnant wife is killed by a telekinetic and he wants revenge. That is how he got his start?! I expected more from you Heroes. Hiro Nakamura was not very interesting at all during this season. The only time he was interesting was when he was with the love of his life Charlie, the waitress he went back in time to save. Otherwise, he was still nerdy, childish Hiro. Seriously, after four seasons of peril, loss of family and friends and pain, you would think this overgrown ten year old would act his age. Peter, the only real hero, was never uninteresting. He was always driven and then very disillusioned after the death of his brother and we felt his pain because we cared about Nathan too and didn't want to lose him either. He is full of hate that he and I wanted to dish out on his nemesis Sylar. Sylar, the villain always on a neverending journey of self discovery. Sylar is the only reason this volume of Heroes was titled Redemption. Yes, when the hiatus ended Sylar had already threatened and tormented Matt Parkman, killed innocent bystanders, attempted to massacre Peter and Angela Petrelli, and then destroyed the last inkling that was Nathan Petrelli. When it returned, Sylar, you guessed it, wanted to repent and be a good person. In an earlier episode Hiro went back in time to save his long lost love and told Sylar along the way that he would become extremely powerful in the future but would still die alone and unloved. This made him think a little bit and led him on a path of redemption. I liked where this went, especially when Parkman traps Sylar and then accidentally Peter inside his worst nightmare: a world where he is all alone. In what seems like years in the nightmare, Peter and Sylar work together and eventually Sylar completely repents and Peter lets go of his anger toward the man he once was. I liked that, but still I always imagined Heroes eventually leveling out to Peter and Sylar in a fight to the death. At the season finale, when Sylar states, with utter pride and sureness, "I'm a hero." I believe him. Hope he doesn't just drop this like he did last time he became a hero.
Heroes ends off with Samuel bringing his Carnival to New York. Here he forces Emma, the deaf girl with power of sound, to lure thousands of New Yorkers to Central Park where Samuel plans to run it into the ground as a way to show his power to the world. Most everyone arrives to stop him. Sylar quickly saves Emma and proves himself to be a hero. Claire, Noah, and Samuel's angered henchman Edgar manage to convince The Carnival that Samuel is evil, because seeing him destroy an entire town a few episodes before wasn't proof enough. They all start to leave and seeing as how Samuel needs super powered people around to amp his power he desperately begins to part the ground as they try to get away. Peter shows up however and copies his power so the two can duke it out. Hiro shows up and teleports The Carnival folk away and leave Samuel powerless. But oh, they blindside us at the end. Samuel is arrested, the heroes enjoy a victory, and Noah begins preparing a nice cover up. But then Claire goes into her "tired hiding" phase and reveals to the media her ability and changes everything. This is the start of the next volume of Heroes: Brave New World. A good start if you ask me.
With low ratings and reviews, Heroes may not get another season. But then ABC has a lot of spaces to fill in their line up, so a come back isn't out of the question. The actors certainly think it's possible. I'll still watch it if does return, I just pray it doesn't suffer again like it suffered here.
Monday, February 8, 2010
The Few, The Proud, The Abusive
"You know, a long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays everybody's crazy." - Charles Manson
These days I am very thankful for the internet. Seeing as how I don't have enough initiative to read a newspaper, I go on Youtube. After just watching the latest episode of Sxephil with Phillip Defranco, whom I have watched for at least three years, he spoke of a former military man's own brand of punishment for his child.
Now not all of the facts are known to me, but the few that I have will suffice. What happened was this former soldier's four year-old daughter was practicing her ABCs and couldn't quite get it right. Yeah I struggled on that for awhile myself, I'm sure we all had at that age. But then again my dad never fucking WATERBOARDED me when I got it wrong. That's right, this soldier of our army waterboarded his four year old child for messing up on the alphabet. Joshua Tabor, the deranged soldier and abusive father in question, used the CIA torture method because he was so gosh darned frustrated with his kid and also because he knew she was scared of water. Even more bewildering about this whole thing is that the man gained custody of the girl just weeks earlier. He is currently awaiting trial and is not allowed to see his daughter until further notice. Though personally I hope he never comes near that kid again.
How did he in any way think he was able to take care of this child? How did he in any way think he was a good father? I agree with Defranco about how people these days are just so fucked in the head. I mean, seriously, the people doing reasonable, sensible things pale in comparison to the people doing stupid and insane things. I just don't understand how someone could do something like this. Of course this isn't even on par with the incident a few years ago in which a young man raped his eight day old daughter...I will repeat: raped his eight day old daughter. This is a sick world we live in.
Even stranger is how we can sit back and say with utter conviction that we live in the greatest country on earth. My opinion: there is no such thing. Our waterboarding incident here is no different than the middle eastern girl receiving over ninety lashes for carrying a cell phone, and the incestuous baby rape is just as sick as that twisted Austrian man's imprisoned inbred family. It's just a sick world we're living in. A sick world!
But of course it is not without its beauties. One cannot deny the good things in life. Still the good that we have will always be tainted by the bad. Bad, like using torture as a substitute for punishment of a little girl. That kind of bad. The world is not a terrible place. I would classify it as bittersweet. Hopefully no more of this sick shit happens.
This has been an update on the madness from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
These days I am very thankful for the internet. Seeing as how I don't have enough initiative to read a newspaper, I go on Youtube. After just watching the latest episode of Sxephil with Phillip Defranco, whom I have watched for at least three years, he spoke of a former military man's own brand of punishment for his child.
Now not all of the facts are known to me, but the few that I have will suffice. What happened was this former soldier's four year-old daughter was practicing her ABCs and couldn't quite get it right. Yeah I struggled on that for awhile myself, I'm sure we all had at that age. But then again my dad never fucking WATERBOARDED me when I got it wrong. That's right, this soldier of our army waterboarded his four year old child for messing up on the alphabet. Joshua Tabor, the deranged soldier and abusive father in question, used the CIA torture method because he was so gosh darned frustrated with his kid and also because he knew she was scared of water. Even more bewildering about this whole thing is that the man gained custody of the girl just weeks earlier. He is currently awaiting trial and is not allowed to see his daughter until further notice. Though personally I hope he never comes near that kid again.
How did he in any way think he was able to take care of this child? How did he in any way think he was a good father? I agree with Defranco about how people these days are just so fucked in the head. I mean, seriously, the people doing reasonable, sensible things pale in comparison to the people doing stupid and insane things. I just don't understand how someone could do something like this. Of course this isn't even on par with the incident a few years ago in which a young man raped his eight day old daughter...I will repeat: raped his eight day old daughter. This is a sick world we live in.
Even stranger is how we can sit back and say with utter conviction that we live in the greatest country on earth. My opinion: there is no such thing. Our waterboarding incident here is no different than the middle eastern girl receiving over ninety lashes for carrying a cell phone, and the incestuous baby rape is just as sick as that twisted Austrian man's imprisoned inbred family. It's just a sick world we're living in. A sick world!
But of course it is not without its beauties. One cannot deny the good things in life. Still the good that we have will always be tainted by the bad. Bad, like using torture as a substitute for punishment of a little girl. That kind of bad. The world is not a terrible place. I would classify it as bittersweet. Hopefully no more of this sick shit happens.
This has been an update on the madness from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
The Lovely Bones Review
"The story of a life and everything that came after..." - tagline
So Peter Jackson decides to followup his box office monsters like The Lord of the Rings, King Kong and his production of District 9 with The Lovely Bones. Let's find out if it was the right move.
Now several negative reviews and a lack of interest in the story itself almost swayed me from not seeing this movie. But I figured if I was going to be a legitimate critic I would have to watch some pretty bad movies as well. And also from the trailer, I thought this movie might actually be pretty enjoyable. Now I am back after watching The Lovely Bones and here is my review.
If you didn't know, The Lovely Bones is the Peter Jackson film adaptation of Alice Sebold's best selling novel of the same name. It is about your average ordinary girl Susie Salmon (Saoirse Ronan) who is raped and murdered by a local man named George Harvey (Stanley Tucci). After that the story takes place in two different worlds: our world where Susie's family (Mark Wahlberg, Rachel Weisz, Rose McIver) tries to find out who killed her and a sort of little girl fantasy version of purgatory (or a private little heaven) where Susie watches and waits.
Now this movie I think has considerable hype because a lot of people read the book, and for Peter Jackson fans you get some of his simplistic fantasy movies he made before he started frolicking with Frodo. Yeah, kinda funny how the movie you make after the one about Michael J. Fox hanging with ghosts, is an adaptation of the one of the biggest fantasy stories ever. But that's Hollywood I guess. Fans of the book and probably fans of Jackson may not be disappointed.
I will get the pros and cons out of the way, with pros coming first. The acting in this movie is to be praised. Saoirse Ronan is a talented young actress. She pulls off her character splendidly and goes through a wide range of emotions. Her problem, like many young stars, is her character but I'll go into that later. Mark Wahlberg, who has been playing nice guys lately, is spot on here. Rachel Weisz is good for the most part, she isn't there as much as Wahlberg, but it's nice just to see her in a movie again. The same can be said of the always great Susan Sarandon. Michael Imperioli is a right choice to play the cop. But the big star here is Stanley Tucci who is scary as hell. I was almost surprised it was him when I saw advertisements for this movie. He goes DeNiro for this movie, transforming into the character physically. This is award worthy stuff right here. Also there is some CGI and cinematography in this movie that is just breathtaking and really cool, though this can be expected of Peter Jackson. There are also just some scenes and moments of beauty and heart that I can't go into without giving things away. I'll tell you my favorite little moment is one where Susie reaches out to her father from the afterlife by bringing a dead rose to life in his hands. It's just...lovely.
Now for the bad. I am just really annoyed with modern narration in movies. Narration takes a lot the subtlety out of some movies. Action more often than not speaks louder than words. And yes I said that some of the CGI is good, but at other times the little almost-heaven comes off as being pretty cartoonish and below Jackson's caliber. Also the logic behind the actions characters in this movie take are sometimes just strange. Like the all too conveniant romance between Susie and Ray, a boy from her school. Immediately after Susie tells us, through narration of course, of her Bella Swan like fascination and descriptions of him, Ray coincidentally reveals to her his love for her, asks her out on a date and almost kisses her. This is also coincidentally just right before she is killed. Susie Salmon herself was kind of a frustrating character. Her narration, which was tiresome, made her sound eloquent but hollow, but when in the real world she came off as being kind of a high maintenanced, preppy brat. And also a scene where the Salmon family is confronted by the cop played by Imperioli after attacking the killer, whom they now suspect. Imperioli suggests to them that they need proper evidence. Oh but that doesn't cut it with the Salmons. Bah, evidence! What is this the twentieth century or something? Susan Sarandon was fun when she was in the movie as the outrageous drunken grandmother, but it falls kind of flat when it turns out that is all she is there for: to be outrageous and drunk.
I would also have to agree somewhat with Roger Ebert when in his review he stated that the deaths of George Harvey's victims seemed like a good thing to them. They did all seem to be very happy after he raped, murdered, and (for Susie) dismembered them and sent them to what is basically the continent next to Neverland. I know most religious oriented movies make it kind of a point to view death as a good thing inevitably as it means you are going to a better place, but it still bugs me. Oh and to my surprise, Alice Sebold is not religious.
So yeah, The Lovely Bones is not a bad movie at all. It just wasn't great, but that's okay. There have been plenty of not that great movies out there that I have seen more than twice before. Did it beat Book of Eli, the other religious oriented movie of the year's beginning? Not for me. It was a film that had its moments and I liked it. It has good performances, images, and its story didn't disappoint me.
This has been a satisfied movie review from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
So Peter Jackson decides to followup his box office monsters like The Lord of the Rings, King Kong and his production of District 9 with The Lovely Bones. Let's find out if it was the right move.
Now several negative reviews and a lack of interest in the story itself almost swayed me from not seeing this movie. But I figured if I was going to be a legitimate critic I would have to watch some pretty bad movies as well. And also from the trailer, I thought this movie might actually be pretty enjoyable. Now I am back after watching The Lovely Bones and here is my review.
If you didn't know, The Lovely Bones is the Peter Jackson film adaptation of Alice Sebold's best selling novel of the same name. It is about your average ordinary girl Susie Salmon (Saoirse Ronan) who is raped and murdered by a local man named George Harvey (Stanley Tucci). After that the story takes place in two different worlds: our world where Susie's family (Mark Wahlberg, Rachel Weisz, Rose McIver) tries to find out who killed her and a sort of little girl fantasy version of purgatory (or a private little heaven) where Susie watches and waits.
Now this movie I think has considerable hype because a lot of people read the book, and for Peter Jackson fans you get some of his simplistic fantasy movies he made before he started frolicking with Frodo. Yeah, kinda funny how the movie you make after the one about Michael J. Fox hanging with ghosts, is an adaptation of the one of the biggest fantasy stories ever. But that's Hollywood I guess. Fans of the book and probably fans of Jackson may not be disappointed.
I will get the pros and cons out of the way, with pros coming first. The acting in this movie is to be praised. Saoirse Ronan is a talented young actress. She pulls off her character splendidly and goes through a wide range of emotions. Her problem, like many young stars, is her character but I'll go into that later. Mark Wahlberg, who has been playing nice guys lately, is spot on here. Rachel Weisz is good for the most part, she isn't there as much as Wahlberg, but it's nice just to see her in a movie again. The same can be said of the always great Susan Sarandon. Michael Imperioli is a right choice to play the cop. But the big star here is Stanley Tucci who is scary as hell. I was almost surprised it was him when I saw advertisements for this movie. He goes DeNiro for this movie, transforming into the character physically. This is award worthy stuff right here. Also there is some CGI and cinematography in this movie that is just breathtaking and really cool, though this can be expected of Peter Jackson. There are also just some scenes and moments of beauty and heart that I can't go into without giving things away. I'll tell you my favorite little moment is one where Susie reaches out to her father from the afterlife by bringing a dead rose to life in his hands. It's just...lovely.
Now for the bad. I am just really annoyed with modern narration in movies. Narration takes a lot the subtlety out of some movies. Action more often than not speaks louder than words. And yes I said that some of the CGI is good, but at other times the little almost-heaven comes off as being pretty cartoonish and below Jackson's caliber. Also the logic behind the actions characters in this movie take are sometimes just strange. Like the all too conveniant romance between Susie and Ray, a boy from her school. Immediately after Susie tells us, through narration of course, of her Bella Swan like fascination and descriptions of him, Ray coincidentally reveals to her his love for her, asks her out on a date and almost kisses her. This is also coincidentally just right before she is killed. Susie Salmon herself was kind of a frustrating character. Her narration, which was tiresome, made her sound eloquent but hollow, but when in the real world she came off as being kind of a high maintenanced, preppy brat. And also a scene where the Salmon family is confronted by the cop played by Imperioli after attacking the killer, whom they now suspect. Imperioli suggests to them that they need proper evidence. Oh but that doesn't cut it with the Salmons. Bah, evidence! What is this the twentieth century or something? Susan Sarandon was fun when she was in the movie as the outrageous drunken grandmother, but it falls kind of flat when it turns out that is all she is there for: to be outrageous and drunk.
I would also have to agree somewhat with Roger Ebert when in his review he stated that the deaths of George Harvey's victims seemed like a good thing to them. They did all seem to be very happy after he raped, murdered, and (for Susie) dismembered them and sent them to what is basically the continent next to Neverland. I know most religious oriented movies make it kind of a point to view death as a good thing inevitably as it means you are going to a better place, but it still bugs me. Oh and to my surprise, Alice Sebold is not religious.
So yeah, The Lovely Bones is not a bad movie at all. It just wasn't great, but that's okay. There have been plenty of not that great movies out there that I have seen more than twice before. Did it beat Book of Eli, the other religious oriented movie of the year's beginning? Not for me. It was a film that had its moments and I liked it. It has good performances, images, and its story didn't disappoint me.
This has been a satisfied movie review from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Dollhouse Cancellation
Okay I just got done watching the series finale of the terrific sci fi action series Dollhouse. It ended well, yes, but why did it end? Low ratings due to Fox placing it on a Friday night schedule. So yeah, the show was doomed to fail when Fox did that. No one watches TV on Friday nights, unless you're a loser like me. Tee hee.
In case you didn't know, Dollhouse is a story involving an advanced corporation that has the technology to erase the personalities of any individual and replace it with others. These individuals usually sign a contract that allows them to become these Actives (or Dolls). Actives are sent out on assignments for the wealthy with personalities necessary for the assignment. These assignments can range from anything from prostitution to assassination. The Actives are usually placed inside a secure and comfortable facility when without a personality whatsoever. One such Doll is Echo (played by Eliza Dushku), who is the star Active in a Los Angeles Dollhouse. She is however slowly becoming self aware and developing a need to break free from The Dollhouse and the corporation behind it. The story follows her struggles and the allies she makes along the way.
This show delivered on everything from characters to care for, compelling drama, exciting action, and a fascinating story. I ranked it up there with Lost. It's not to say the show didn't have its periodic faults because every show does. But really it is clear that this show was awesome and garnered a fan base quickly. Wouldn't the more reasonable approach be to move it to a better night instead of Friday. I'm sure you want Fox wants to make way for some show we just know is going to last like Human Target and some other American Idol ripoff, but something tells me Dollhouse was just a little bit better.
Even more mind boggling is the fact that this show was created by Joss Whedon, who has masterminded long running shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel (other shows I enjoyed). This wouldn't be the first time Fox has cancelled a show of his that was well received but had low ratings. The show Firefly, which many including Whedon believe to be his magnum opus, was cancelled. I have not seen Firefly unfortunately, but I will soon and then judge for myself. Ironically, Firefly later had a followup motion picture called Serenity which was much better than the Star Wars prequels along with the J.J. Abrams version of Star Trek. So yeah, I guess Whedon didn't learn his lesson and thought he could trust Fox with another of his projects. But lets hope he does believe in the "fool me once, fool me twice" expression.
Whedon knew he was cancelled midway through season 2 of the show but was able to get Fox to let him complete his show the way he wants. And he did it well, nothing felt rushed and everything was enjoyable and felt right. He completed the show with grace and it was fun. There was an impact with the series finale but it wasn't nearly as big as it would have been if the show had gone on for a few more seasons or even just one more. It is sad to see it go even still.
My advice to you is to rent Dollhouse season 1 and 2 when it comes out on DVD. See if you like it. My advice to Joss Whedon is to stay the hell away from Fox, they've already destroyed two of your great creations. But now that Dollhouse has past I have more things to look forward to regarding television. Renting more seasons of Dexter and Breaking Bad; begin watching Californiacation, Firefly, and Party of Five; finish watching what will probably be Heroes' last season; and finally watching the godliness that is Lost: the series finale. Hint, hint: I will try to make my next posts Lost oriented in tribute to the show.
This has been a goodbye to a good show from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
In case you didn't know, Dollhouse is a story involving an advanced corporation that has the technology to erase the personalities of any individual and replace it with others. These individuals usually sign a contract that allows them to become these Actives (or Dolls). Actives are sent out on assignments for the wealthy with personalities necessary for the assignment. These assignments can range from anything from prostitution to assassination. The Actives are usually placed inside a secure and comfortable facility when without a personality whatsoever. One such Doll is Echo (played by Eliza Dushku), who is the star Active in a Los Angeles Dollhouse. She is however slowly becoming self aware and developing a need to break free from The Dollhouse and the corporation behind it. The story follows her struggles and the allies she makes along the way.
This show delivered on everything from characters to care for, compelling drama, exciting action, and a fascinating story. I ranked it up there with Lost. It's not to say the show didn't have its periodic faults because every show does. But really it is clear that this show was awesome and garnered a fan base quickly. Wouldn't the more reasonable approach be to move it to a better night instead of Friday. I'm sure you want Fox wants to make way for some show we just know is going to last like Human Target and some other American Idol ripoff, but something tells me Dollhouse was just a little bit better.
Even more mind boggling is the fact that this show was created by Joss Whedon, who has masterminded long running shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel (other shows I enjoyed). This wouldn't be the first time Fox has cancelled a show of his that was well received but had low ratings. The show Firefly, which many including Whedon believe to be his magnum opus, was cancelled. I have not seen Firefly unfortunately, but I will soon and then judge for myself. Ironically, Firefly later had a followup motion picture called Serenity which was much better than the Star Wars prequels along with the J.J. Abrams version of Star Trek. So yeah, I guess Whedon didn't learn his lesson and thought he could trust Fox with another of his projects. But lets hope he does believe in the "fool me once, fool me twice" expression.
Whedon knew he was cancelled midway through season 2 of the show but was able to get Fox to let him complete his show the way he wants. And he did it well, nothing felt rushed and everything was enjoyable and felt right. He completed the show with grace and it was fun. There was an impact with the series finale but it wasn't nearly as big as it would have been if the show had gone on for a few more seasons or even just one more. It is sad to see it go even still.
My advice to you is to rent Dollhouse season 1 and 2 when it comes out on DVD. See if you like it. My advice to Joss Whedon is to stay the hell away from Fox, they've already destroyed two of your great creations. But now that Dollhouse has past I have more things to look forward to regarding television. Renting more seasons of Dexter and Breaking Bad; begin watching Californiacation, Firefly, and Party of Five; finish watching what will probably be Heroes' last season; and finally watching the godliness that is Lost: the series finale. Hint, hint: I will try to make my next posts Lost oriented in tribute to the show.
This has been a goodbye to a good show from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
The Horror that is Heidi Montag
"Have no fear of perfection, you'll never reach it." - Salvador Dali
If Dali was alive, I'm sure he would say this to Heidi Montag, who as of late has become the wet dream of every form of modern plastic surgery. When all of this recent news came to light, I found myself wondering, just like I did about Kim Kardashian: just who the hell is Heidi Montag. Well apparently she's one of the god knows how many other annoying broads you'd find on The Hills, while also being a celebrity media personality and singer and was quite well known in these circles I guess.
Before she went all Bride of Frankenstein part 2, I found Montag to be a very attractive woman. Nevermind that she looked like my cousin, because frankly most hot women these days look like my cousin (damn you, God!) But seriously from the look of her presurgery I'd say she seemed very beautiful in a natural sort of way. So whereas most would agree she was almost physically flawless, Heidi completely disagreed and claimed she was postively flawed physically. With that the once normal and appealing (at least bodywise, unless they moved some brain tissue to her cheeks) Heidi Montag turned into the plastic and comic book caricture Heidi Montag. In her Billy Bush interview, when I got the first sight of her really, I felt as if Hugh Hefner himself would cringe at this woman. When The Girls Next Door resemble normal girls more than you, you know you went too far. If memory serves me right, Montag got breast implants going to a near F, her ears pinned back, her face completely destroyed and reshaped with rhinoplasty, fat filled into her cheeks, forehead and lips, and I think some bone removed from her lower back to support her breasts. Yeah, she didn't go over the top AT ALL=blatent sarcasm!
Now it is known that this chick has an addiction to plastic surgery (yahuh, no shit), but if that was just the case I might have forgiven her for this. But I was just appalled by her interview with the shocked Billy Bush. Heidi, who was moving her face as little as possible so as not to reenact the opening scene of Scanners, told Bush the details of her surgery and how she almost died in the process. According to her, she was a near cardiac arrest victim, being down to five breaths per minute. But you know what, Heidi thinks it was worth it. Heidi thinks her beauty, her freaky as hell beauty was worth dying for and that suffering massive swelling and bruises post surgery was worth it and that the public disgust at her vanity and horrid appearance was worth it. There's a good lesson to the kids: your life can be destroyed, but your looks must survive.
That wasn't even the best part though. The best part was how she tried to ignore her obvious plastic surgery addiction as much as possible, even if it meant contradicting herself completely (oh wait she didn't realize she was doing that). Montag claimed that the surgery was just as spiritual as it was physical. Oh yeah, church can be found in the plastic surgery clinics now. And by contradicting herself I meant that at one moment she claims that God creates us all perfect but then when questioned about her having surgery if that were case she says God "gave her a little extra." No honey, I think he'd just give it all upfront if that was what he had intended. And further distracting people from her addiction, she goes on to briefly talk about how much she appreciates the science behind plastic surgery. But then she obviously doesn't appreciate it enough by not listening to her accomplished surgeon and resting up and letting the surgery sink in. No, no, instead she goes off and flashes her shit all over the hills she has become so familiar with. The, the reaction was not that great and she was very irresponsible. Once again, contradicting one's self. It would seem perfection also matters enough that God and scientific research become your scapegoats?
It is also known that prior to her surgeries, Montag was at an arms length catfight with Brooke Hogan, another celebrity media personality and high maintenance bitch and the daughter of Hulk. During this test of one-ups-womanship, Montag and Hogan drew comparisons between their shitty records along with their careers and no doubt their looks. Now Brooke Hogan is fake as hell, that's a fact, but I find her massively attractive because there is still a great deal of humanity left. It is not unreasonable to believe that someone as vain and stupid as Heidi Montag would alter her whole body to one up Brooke Hogan. This didn't turn out well. Whether Montag was or was not trying to become physically more attractive than Hogan, she failed. And This is what we in the land of internet back and forths call EPIC FAIL! Bringing the big guns for this mother.
So all in all, what have I taken away from Heidi Montag's little moment in the limelight's shame section? Well personally I think it's fucking retarded in all aspects but hey that's just me. If you reader by some miracle believe this monstrosity was in the right feel free to tell me in the comment section below. This begs more than enough questions this fiasco does. Like whether or not natural beauty is something to be tampered with, or whether vanity is on the rise in a world where you can get almost anything you want or whether inner beauty is more important than physical beauty. I will give Montag some props though. 1, she has made better worse. 2, she has shed light on vanity's cruel mistreatment of modern science and medicine. And 3, she has more than likely baffled MacNamera and Troy from Nip/Tuck. I don't think even they'd have the balls to do something so unbelieveable.
This has been a look into Hollywood's gutter from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
If Dali was alive, I'm sure he would say this to Heidi Montag, who as of late has become the wet dream of every form of modern plastic surgery. When all of this recent news came to light, I found myself wondering, just like I did about Kim Kardashian: just who the hell is Heidi Montag. Well apparently she's one of the god knows how many other annoying broads you'd find on The Hills, while also being a celebrity media personality and singer and was quite well known in these circles I guess.
Before she went all Bride of Frankenstein part 2, I found Montag to be a very attractive woman. Nevermind that she looked like my cousin, because frankly most hot women these days look like my cousin (damn you, God!) But seriously from the look of her presurgery I'd say she seemed very beautiful in a natural sort of way. So whereas most would agree she was almost physically flawless, Heidi completely disagreed and claimed she was postively flawed physically. With that the once normal and appealing (at least bodywise, unless they moved some brain tissue to her cheeks) Heidi Montag turned into the plastic and comic book caricture Heidi Montag. In her Billy Bush interview, when I got the first sight of her really, I felt as if Hugh Hefner himself would cringe at this woman. When The Girls Next Door resemble normal girls more than you, you know you went too far. If memory serves me right, Montag got breast implants going to a near F, her ears pinned back, her face completely destroyed and reshaped with rhinoplasty, fat filled into her cheeks, forehead and lips, and I think some bone removed from her lower back to support her breasts. Yeah, she didn't go over the top AT ALL=blatent sarcasm!
Now it is known that this chick has an addiction to plastic surgery (yahuh, no shit), but if that was just the case I might have forgiven her for this. But I was just appalled by her interview with the shocked Billy Bush. Heidi, who was moving her face as little as possible so as not to reenact the opening scene of Scanners, told Bush the details of her surgery and how she almost died in the process. According to her, she was a near cardiac arrest victim, being down to five breaths per minute. But you know what, Heidi thinks it was worth it. Heidi thinks her beauty, her freaky as hell beauty was worth dying for and that suffering massive swelling and bruises post surgery was worth it and that the public disgust at her vanity and horrid appearance was worth it. There's a good lesson to the kids: your life can be destroyed, but your looks must survive.
That wasn't even the best part though. The best part was how she tried to ignore her obvious plastic surgery addiction as much as possible, even if it meant contradicting herself completely (oh wait she didn't realize she was doing that). Montag claimed that the surgery was just as spiritual as it was physical. Oh yeah, church can be found in the plastic surgery clinics now. And by contradicting herself I meant that at one moment she claims that God creates us all perfect but then when questioned about her having surgery if that were case she says God "gave her a little extra." No honey, I think he'd just give it all upfront if that was what he had intended. And further distracting people from her addiction, she goes on to briefly talk about how much she appreciates the science behind plastic surgery. But then she obviously doesn't appreciate it enough by not listening to her accomplished surgeon and resting up and letting the surgery sink in. No, no, instead she goes off and flashes her shit all over the hills she has become so familiar with. The, the reaction was not that great and she was very irresponsible. Once again, contradicting one's self. It would seem perfection also matters enough that God and scientific research become your scapegoats?
It is also known that prior to her surgeries, Montag was at an arms length catfight with Brooke Hogan, another celebrity media personality and high maintenance bitch and the daughter of Hulk. During this test of one-ups-womanship, Montag and Hogan drew comparisons between their shitty records along with their careers and no doubt their looks. Now Brooke Hogan is fake as hell, that's a fact, but I find her massively attractive because there is still a great deal of humanity left. It is not unreasonable to believe that someone as vain and stupid as Heidi Montag would alter her whole body to one up Brooke Hogan. This didn't turn out well. Whether Montag was or was not trying to become physically more attractive than Hogan, she failed. And This is what we in the land of internet back and forths call EPIC FAIL! Bringing the big guns for this mother.
So all in all, what have I taken away from Heidi Montag's little moment in the limelight's shame section? Well personally I think it's fucking retarded in all aspects but hey that's just me. If you reader by some miracle believe this monstrosity was in the right feel free to tell me in the comment section below. This begs more than enough questions this fiasco does. Like whether or not natural beauty is something to be tampered with, or whether vanity is on the rise in a world where you can get almost anything you want or whether inner beauty is more important than physical beauty. I will give Montag some props though. 1, she has made better worse. 2, she has shed light on vanity's cruel mistreatment of modern science and medicine. And 3, she has more than likely baffled MacNamera and Troy from Nip/Tuck. I don't think even they'd have the balls to do something so unbelieveable.
This has been a look into Hollywood's gutter from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Modest PSA # 5: Bella Casting
DISCLAIMER: THIS PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT IS NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM EVEN THOUGH IT PROBABLY SHOULD BE!
Hi, I'm Your Modest Guru and today I'm here to tell you of a tragic occurance that has protruded from the cast of films in recent years. Kristin Stewart. This is in no way an attack on Stewart's acting ability. She is talented. Her problem is not acting related, but casting related. It happens to many actors, it is called typecasting. Kristen Stewart's type happens to unfortunately be that of the depressed, introspective girl. It is annoying quite frankly. You will find in films such as Adventureland, Twilight, In the Land of Women, and The Messangers.
Signs of this typecasting can be found in a Kristen Stewart role if she shows signs of silence, distance, perpetual confusion, and an otherwise anti-social personality. Though her emotionally strung character role may have worked in In the Land of Women, it comes off as repetitive and lame in the long run. If she is to be redeemed in the audience's eyes simply watch films of hers where she is given more depth. These inlcude Into the Wild, Panic Room, and Zathura. She is still a good actress and we must have hope that she will go places in the future. Her latest film that will be coming out is called The Runaways, a biopic of the all girl band where Stewart herself will be portraying the famous Joan Jett. Things are looking up in the Bella Casting situation.
Now you know and knowing is half the battle. The rest Your Modest Guru leaves to you.
Hi, I'm Your Modest Guru and today I'm here to tell you of a tragic occurance that has protruded from the cast of films in recent years. Kristin Stewart. This is in no way an attack on Stewart's acting ability. She is talented. Her problem is not acting related, but casting related. It happens to many actors, it is called typecasting. Kristen Stewart's type happens to unfortunately be that of the depressed, introspective girl. It is annoying quite frankly. You will find in films such as Adventureland, Twilight, In the Land of Women, and The Messangers.
Signs of this typecasting can be found in a Kristen Stewart role if she shows signs of silence, distance, perpetual confusion, and an otherwise anti-social personality. Though her emotionally strung character role may have worked in In the Land of Women, it comes off as repetitive and lame in the long run. If she is to be redeemed in the audience's eyes simply watch films of hers where she is given more depth. These inlcude Into the Wild, Panic Room, and Zathura. She is still a good actress and we must have hope that she will go places in the future. Her latest film that will be coming out is called The Runaways, a biopic of the all girl band where Stewart herself will be portraying the famous Joan Jett. Things are looking up in the Bella Casting situation.
Now you know and knowing is half the battle. The rest Your Modest Guru leaves to you.
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