Friday, February 10, 2012

Top Ten Anime Badasses (excluding L)

(I SPOIL SOME STUFF if you care)

In a fictional medium as audacious and over the top as anime, it is inevitable that a few notably out of this world badasses will become more visible. It certainly has one of the finest selections. Plus, you'll be hard pressed to find any modern examples of awesome coolness that are as colorful as those in the anime genre, be it a zoot suit wearing, hand cannon wielding Dracula rendition or a sweetheart secret agent who fights supernatural terrorists with paper. So I will try to list the top ten anime characters who I find to be the most badass. I will, however, have to exclude the character who I feel would just inevitably be the winner, trumping the others: L from Death Note. That's a character for another list. And bare in mind, I don't relentlessly catch up with popular animes just like I don't catch up with all the hit live action shows, so some popular or awesome character that I don't know about may not be on the list. Oh well, let's begin.

10. Spike Spiegel from Cowboy Bebop

"Me? I'm just an old-fashioned cowboy."

Spike is our given for today. Just like L, Spike could have easily been number one. That's why he's ten. But really, Spike Spiegel is one of those anime characters you never forget, much like Cowboy Bebop is that anime that most people remember. I know its what I typically thought of as a kid when I tried to think about a serious type of anime and not just Pokemon and Yu Gi Oh. Everything about this guy is badass. He's basically a combination of Bruce Lee's mastery of martial arts (same style), Clint Eastwood's personality and marksmanship, and he looks like a tall, young, leisure suit-wearing Bob Dylan. Cool as fuck. In the future, Spike is an experienced bounty hunter who regularly kicks the asses of the universe's worst scumbags but at the same time causing so much destruction that his team's reward is usually spent on repairing damages. He seems like your standard lovable rogue, despite everything, but you start to realize he has a past, like most badasses. This past includes contract killing, a Vicious (tee hee) rivalry, star-crossed love, and a replacement cyborg eye. Nevertheless, every moment Spike is on the screen is an enjoyable one. He is without a doubt one of the best anime badasses starring in one of the most badass animes. Oh and by the way, he unknowingly took space shrooms once and spent the rest of the day climbing the stairway to heaven. Just saying.

9. Simon from Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann (try saying that ten times fast)

"JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!"

Oh how I did not like Simon. Anyone who watches Gurren Lagann will not like him either in the beginning. I mean, you are kind of expecting someone who was originally raised in the underground catacombs of the future where the rest of humanity suffers to be sad. But Simon was SOOOOOOOO whiney, it's almost ridiculous. It was kind of the point, though. Simon starts off as a scared kid, playing second next to his best friend, mentor, and decoy hero Kamina (coughJesuscough). But after Kamina's sacrifice, awhile after, actually, Simon finally learns his strength and leads the beaten down human race against their alien tyrants. I know the above makes it seem like I don't like Simon. In retrospect, this is another character who could easily be number one. I mean, of course, he's not the first messiah in a MECH seen in anime, but how many other characters defeat legions of aliens in their youth and then go on into adulthood to defeat the UNIVERSE and whatever god controls it? That's not a lie, either. That's the point of his story. He shows how the human spirit can overcome anything, in a way that could only be taken seriously in an anime. Still wish Kamina was alive, though. But, then again, so does Simon.

8. Akira Takizawa from Eden of the East

"You see, I'm a terrorist... nah, just kidding!"

A Japanese man wakes up in front of The White House. He's naked, in one hand is a gun, in the other an advanced cell phone. He doesn't know who he is. The first thing he does is cheerfully ask someone else if they need help. That sums up the man known as Akira Takizawa. He finds himself lost in the most bizarre and dangerous of situations, and is naturally heroic when this happens. Very care free, laid back, nice, and intelligent, Akira is one of several random individuals chosen by some high powered forces in the world to use a vast sum of money to save Japan in any way he can. Despite having no idea who he really is, with every clue pointing to the fact that he is an enigmatic and possibly insane terrorist, Akira goes along with it with the best intentions. And that is the one downside. Akira's pure and unabashed heroism takes away from the mystery because we as an audience really can't imagine him being a bad guy, before or after his memories were erased. Out of all of the people chosen by this shadow organization, Akira probably has used his fortune in the most positive and beneficial ways. He also reminds me of me, what with his love of movies and pop culture being the only thing he can really remember and choosing to live in a huge freaking mall. He also stands up to spies, serial killers, basically the most powerful people in the world, and even goddamn speeding missiles. Win or lose, he faces them all with a smile. You will like Akira Takizawa.

7. Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist

"We'll just have to hope our powers are good enough to help us rise above our own limits. 'Cause we're not gods. We're humans. Tiny insignificant humans... who couldn't even save a little girl."

The above quote is a pretty good way of defining the journey of Edward and his kid brother, Alphonse. They live in an alternate reality where alchemy was dominant over science, and Ed and Al are two of the best despite being barely into their teens. While Alphonse's condition is certainly more tragic and his personality probably more amenable, Edward resonates with me so much because, you guessed it, he is so fucking tragic. While an alchemist in training, his mother dies and his father is gone. He persuades his brother to help him use their combined skills to attempt to bring their mom back from the dead, a practice that is strictly forbidden. Ed soon learns why. Alchemy only works if you give something equivalent to what you are trying to make. Edward underestimates the process. As a result, Al's body is completely destroyed, Ed's loses a leg, gives up an arm just to be able to bind his brother's spirit to a hulking suit of armor, and their mother is brought back as a grotesque mass of limbs and flesh. After getting hooked up with a mechanical arm and leg, Ed and Al make it their mission in life to get their bodies back to how they were... through more forbidden alchemy. This leads them down a dark road, to say the least (yes, Edward and Alphonse Elric are the anime equivalent to Sam and Dean Winchester). And in spite of being a temperamental and reckless kid, Ed also has strong morals and the finesse of both a general and a politician. He is totally conflicted throughout the journey that forces him to continue making tough, life altering decisions. We get the sense that he is losing it more and more as time goes on, only holding on for the sake of his brother and friends. He can also turn his arm into a dagger and is a highly competent martial artist, maybe not as good as Alphonse but still. He's certainly the better alchemist, once being able to beat a seemingly unbeatable enemy simply by figuring out how to use the guy's own unique biology against him. They don't call him the Fullmetal Alchemist, for nothing.

6. Kino from Kino's Journey

"When you're on a journey, the most important thing is to never lose your life."

Mark those words well when dealing with Kino. Badass and fascinating though she and the story may be, bare in mind readers, Kino's Journey is a deep, quiet, and off-the-beaten-path kind of anime. It's not about action scenes so much as art and philosophy. Kino is a somber and intelligent traveler in a world that seems to be absolutely full of places to travel to. Not all of them are good, and many look down on simple travelers. Kino, and her trusty talking motorcycle Hermes, are basically used as a way of showing this world and how the customs and cultures and people differ. Some are sweet and wholesome, others cruel and unforgiving, many tragic, and all are inevitably beautiful to Kino in some way. But why is Kino so badass? Well, it is made perfectly clear in the beginning that she carries guns with her and trains with them often. Both her manner with the guns and how she trains is as steady and reserved as she is. But when she uses them? You're gonna lose is all I'm saying, no matter who you are, it would seem. It's funny too because Kino seems like such a nice and innocent person, small, disarming, serene. In her few action scenes, though, she is all of those things still while being as fast and efficient as they come. She also has one of the most memorable backstories I've seen in an anime. So very sad and scary. While badassery lays dormant, the journey itself is still enjoyable in a very thoughtful sort of way.

5. Hei from Darker than Black

"Contractors are liars. I'm no different."

Oh, he'd like to think that. A few years back in this anime, a massive gate appeared in Tokyo. It is called Hell's Gate, and it took away the sky and stars, replacing it with fake ones, and ravaged the environment. More importantly, everything beyond The Gate is utter chaos. Literally. The power from it manifested and effected humans, turning some into emotionless Dolls (seers; psychics) and Contractors (superhumans; assassins). Hei is one of the best contractors in Japan. And he's Chinese. Carrying out missions for the mysterious Syndicate, Hei usually gives off the vibe most contractors tend to project: stoic and ruthless. We see, in small ways, however, that if he is able to do something right in the process of his mission he will do it... in the most nonchalant way possible, of course. Hei's ability is the projection of electricity, an effectively lethal one. It turns out to be somewhat of an afterthought, though, as we are usually floored by Hei's amazing speed and agility. If this guy's coming at you, few things are gonna stop him from getting there, not for long. And he takes you out hard and fast. It's almost an art just watching him figure out how to take someone down, or even when he doesn't have to (maybe not as much as some of the ones ranked greater but still). As for weaponry, he generally uses two huge daggers, a long ass extendable garrote wire/grappling hook (which he can also channel the electricity through), and his thin black longcoat is bulletproof. He wears a scary blank white mask, all the girls are inexplicably attracted to him, his only real friend is a talking cat, I could keep going. But the thing that is really badass about Hei is that it turns out that for a large part of his life, child soldier and mercenary work included, he was only pretending to be a soulless contractor to stay connected with his beloved little sister, who actually was the powerful contractor. So from the time he was a pre teen soldier for hire to a mid-20s adult, Hei was just a normal guy who happened to become one the best killers in the world out of sheer will. The contractor status just makes him a bit more... unique. Black Reaper indeed.

4. Teresa of the Faint Smile from Claymore

"What kept you? You should've summoned your powers the moment you saw me... don't you think?"

In a medieval world of feudalism that also happens to be plagued by monstrous demons known as Yoma, an Organization reengineered human beings with Yoma DNA and thus their inhuman power. They are called Claymores (mostly because they carry huge claymore swords). There have been multiple generations, but the current one is predominantly female. Much like the Contractors form DTB above, Claymores are typically cold hearted killers, but some can be very knight like. Well that's the backstory, but anyway Teresa for the longest time happened to be the strongest and, indeed, most badass of all 50 sum numbered Claymores at the time, her being No. 1, naturally. Now Teresa's a flashback character and it will be clearly seen she is not as relevant in the present story, so you know something's gonna happen to her. That road pretty much begins in the past where see she eventually discovered her humanity by begrudgingly caring for a little girl she rescued. This discovery of intense emotions also leads her to slaughter a group of bandits who harmed the child; and yeah, it was like gory and geometric at the same time. Bad news, Claymores are sworn to protect humans and will be hunted by their own if they kill them. Since her kind is one of outstanding speed, agility, strength, and ferocity in battle, Teresa stood out in many ways: mostly in that she exceeded every other Claymore and nearly every Yoma in all of those categories, doing so through skill and without ever harnessing the dangerous demon power that most Claymore put to use. The fact that she has no one strong point in combat makes it difficult for her superiors to title her like other single digit Claymores. This leads them to call her "Teresa of the Faint Smile" because, obviously, she constantly has a small and serene smile on her face, especially when she's slaying Yoma. The most her opponents can usually hope to do is mildly impress her in combat, at least for Claymores. For Yoma, she simply walks into a town in danger and immediately cuts through Yomas disguised as people before they can even react. But yeah, she probably moves faster and outmatches enemies better than most I've seen from any other Claymore in the series or any series for that matter... and hot, probably the most stunning of the race of beautiful warrior women. Despite being a heartless killer in the beginning, Teresa wins us over by giving her life completely to a little girl who she learned to love. And by owning everything they throw with lightning speed.

3. Claire Stanfield from Baccano

"How amusing! I'm the monster who's gonna devour you all."

Of all the tough customers you'll find on this list, Claire is probably the one you would want to avoid the most. It's not known if he's always been such a monstrous person, but being adopted by a hard edged Brooklyn mafia in the WWI era might have had something to do with it; or his uncanny aptitude and intellect; or the unparalleled strength and reflexes he gained as a circus acrobat; but all of that probably came in handy most when he became a hitman. And not only that, but the best and 'most effective' assassin in America during the '20s-30s (and apparently long after that). Next to murder, Claire's passion is in the train and railroad business, even working part time as a conductor aboard one Flying Pussyfoot. A job that allows him national high speed travel to his various jobs. When that train is threatened is when he shows off just how, uh, damaging he can be. He unleashes upon the hijacking terrorists and killers a bloody horror show. See, Claire is interesting in that he has his own code and way of living life, making him pretty noble despite the insane things he does. How good is he: he can circumnavigate and twist around the speeding train in a hundred different ways, his confidence is such that he doesn't fear anyone and believes the whole world and everybody in it are figments of his imagination, he calmly dodges around any attacks, he apparently knows nearly all forms of combat, and gets the nickname 'Vino' for the messy, bloodsoaked corpses of his victims he leaves behind (he also spends most of the series covered head to toe in blood). If he isn't dissecting you physically, he's doing it psychologically. And all he really did was train well. Claire Stanfield really convinces you that he can't be beaten. Further proven in the novels, where he apparently remains a hardcore badass well into his nineties.

2. Sebastian Michaelis from Black Butler

"You see, I am simply one hell of a butler."

He's not wrong there. Sebastian looks more like a man who would run a noble house rather than the man serving it, but he clearly has his reasons for acting as head butler of The Phantomhive Mansion. The very mysterious Sebastian Michaelis has a very solid deal with the very young master of the house, Ciel Phantomhive. There is virtually nothing Sebastian won't do for Ciel, and virtually no way he won't accomplish the task given. At the same time he is also impeccably charming, courteous, handsome, and dutiful. A good portion of each episode will describe in some fashion how he tends to The Mansion and his master. Surprisingly, Sebastian, though often coldly snarky and smiling devilishly, is actually the lighter of the two main characters. Whereas Ciel is an icy, condescending, and distant boy who, Sebastian is the one who is calm, polite, and even concerned for the wellbeing of others (you know, so long as it helps keep things moving on the job). Rather memorable moments are ones where you find Sebastian tirelessly and cheerfully talking about the new cuisine for breakfast, or where he is helplessly fascinated by cats. Do not let this fool you? When I said Sebastian will do anything for Ciel, that's true. Stand in Sebastian's way and he will kill you with silverware, and beating him will be next to impossible. He only goes full force on one character in one scene in the entire anime and it is so shocking and horrifying that it is not even shown on screen. And I know I might be a bit vague about his badassery, but his excuse for it is something of a surprise for people who haven't read much about it. His eyes, his colors, his smile, his manner, the way he says 'hell' in his catchphrase, maybe even his love of cats should all be pretty good clues as to what he is. I won't say what it is, but its awesome. Sebastian Michaelis is another one of those characters you will just like.

1. Vash the Stampede from Trigun

"This world is made of LOVE AND PEACE!"

The Stampede. The Humanoid Typhoon. The people of the impoverished planet of Gunsmoke really don't like Vash. This is because he is known far and wide across the lands as one man destroyer of whole communities. Some towns rally together to capture or kill him when he walks through, others evacuate entirely when they find out he's coming. And when you first see him you really buy into that myth. How fun it was to learn that Vash is not only a strange and overly peppy young man, he is anything but your average badass. He totally fails the first attempt at acting cool you seem make. Even more surprising Vash is a total pacifist (see above quote). Despite having an insanely bad reputation, a hand cannon, a cool as hell red longcoat, even cooler sunglasses, and perhaps the most ridiculously epic of nineties style anime haircuts, Vash is against everything you would typically think a cool hero would be. He makes a point of not hurting those who would hurt him, and the times when he has no other choice are the most interesting. Because insanely good or not, most of the world would see him dead. The explanation for his annihilation of entire cities is connected to his past and his past is a mystery so I won't spoil it. (Let's just say his childhood sucked on a Biblical scale and it only gets worse). Even if he doesn't kill a hundred men each episode, Vash is still pretty goddamn amazing. His anti-violent good nature is his only real weakness next to his undying heroism, aside from that Vash is almost impossible to kill and really is more dangerous than the majority of enemies he meets. He just spends so much time joking around, eating donuts, and being an all around nice guy that you tend to forget some times that he has left cities in flaming rubble. Vash is number one because, in my opinion, he is a true hero and the only flaws he has are ones you can't really chide him for (outraged at a child's murder even when the child would have surely killed him and others). Vash doesn't give up, always overcomes his adversity, and saves the day, no matter how bad things get for him. He is the number one anime badass.

This has been another top ten list from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.

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