Viewing Obama/There's something about Snooki

"To be angry is easy. But to be angry with the right man at the right time in the right manner, that is not easy." - Aristotle

I agree with the notion that it doesn't matter what President Obama does, he will remain criticized to no end. I'm sure Barry O'Bama (his name Irished) could rush into a burning orphanage, save everyone inside, put out the fire himself, kiss the head of a baby, end world hunger, bring an end to international turmoil, find and singlehandedly capture Osama Bin Laden, and solve the mysteries of the Kennedy assassination, Jimmy Hoffa's disappearance, the identities of Jack The Ripper, D.B. Cooper, and the Zodiac Killer, as well as all of the alien sightings and there would still be those people out there who can swing all of those things in a way that make him seem like the most inept president ever, despite the fact that he is more sincere, infinitely more intelligent, more likable, runs a tighter operation, and is overall head and shoulders above the last one. Does it matter to the neo conservative masses? Fuck no.

Consider Obama's recent choice to be a guest on The View, that show I never watch with the people I've lost interest in. You better believe Fox News had something to say about this. Mainly making points like Obama should have done something different like make an appearance for the new Boy Scouts of America, or remarking The View and the women who host the show as if it was just a bunch of yappy harpies bitching about nothing. First of all, I agree maybe showing up for the Boy Scouts of America could have been a nice chance for Obama to give one of his eloquent and inspiring speeches (though I'm sure if he did, Fox would probably right it off as showboating), but it's not like these kids are gonna grow up to be rapists and crackheads because he didn't do it, and the fact that Obama didn't doesn't mean he is totally inconsiderate of America's youth (remember that very inspiring message to the students of America that everyone freaked out about and called socialist propaganda despite the fact that nothing in the message indicated socialism?). Yes clearly the choice between visiting The View or The Boy Scouts of America was horrendously executed, no way can it hold a candle to the outstanding strategic decision-making of George W. Bush when he was faced with a choice between immediately dealing with The World Trade Center Attacks or reading a story to bored schoolchildren. Clearly. And the second point, about the View and View Hosts, if any show features nothing but a bunch of yappy harpies bitching about nothing it's Fox fucking News. Yeah so what did the clearly dim and ditzy women of The View talk about with Obama? The Healthcare Reform, the Stimulus Package, the wars in the Middle East, you know the little things. I'll admit, from what I've seen, the people of The View do talk about a lot of very gossipy, uninteresting stuff, but they aren't dumb by any means. And the choice to appear on The View, yeah maybe it doesn't seem like the most solid idea for a President, but being the President is still one of the highest forms of celebrity in this country and every celebrity needs to promote himself to the people and sometimes a big political rally with a bunch of folks from your own demographic isn't the way to go. Sometimes you need to get on a talk-show with a specific person or persons that a specific demographic reveres. Barry and VP Joe Biden have sat down with Jay Leno a number of times. This View nonsense is just more cannon fodder for Fox News, more incentive for them to continue complaining.

Do you ever get the sense that the length of which the conservative media and populace attacks Obama is a just a little cartoonish. Like, have you ever thought to yourself some of these people actually don't have a problem with or even like Obama. Who knows, maybe the Right Wing sends everyone a check every time they talk shit about the conservative parties' opponents. Probably not, but it still seems off to me. Like I've said before, I actually try not to keep up to date with politics, so I may be a bit wrong about some of the stuff I'm saying. At least I can admit, unlike some people.

Anyway, who the fuck cares about Jersey Shore? I mean honestly, how many people can seriously be interested or entertained by the activities of a bunch trashy, douchebag New York 20-somethings shipped off to New Jersey and passed off as New Jersey residents, their activities being getting wasted, getting laid, being bitches, fist shaking or something, overkilling their hair gel and spray, constantly affirming themselves and begging for self-affirmation from others, and overall putting shame to our founding fathers. I can find it entertaining as if it was a parody. A very, very, very over the top parody. It seems designed for those who thought Jackass needed to be dumbed down for them. I can't expect anybody who has a shred of self-respect, an ounce of common sense, a gram of taste would watch Jersey Shore. So how can anyone honestly expect the President of The United States of America to watch Jersey Shore? One of the minor, less intelligent questions the ladies of The View asked Obama was what were his thoughts on Jersey Shore alum "Snooki" possibly running for Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska and Obama had no idea who they were talking about. Yes, while Obama was recently holding rallies in the factories of Michigan, even coming up with the new little slogan "I'll bet on the American worker any day of the week", I'm sure he'd cut in time to tune in to the current misadventures of Mike "The Situation" and Jenni "JWOWW." Seriously, we are gonna pass judgement on our President because he doesn't keep up to date with America's latest television fads? A few years ago Obama apparently claimed his favorite TV show was The Wire, which was hailed by many critics as the greatest show on television and beloved by even more. But why watch the intricate sociopolitical exploits of Baltimore's finest against the drug and gang violence that plagues the streets when you could bare witness to what I pray is un-reality TV's selfish, obnoxious, but nevertheless proud Guido heroes, who are lucky enough to get girl on girl action and a possible three way in the first fucking episode.

Honestly I only heard of Jersey Shore from The Soup and how it makes fun of it, and I've seen it playing on TV. And for those brief moments my mind was absent and I allowed myself to linger on it, it was still repulsive. I honestly tried to give a show I knew was shit a chance and I couldn't even pass thirty seconds, it's that bad. Maybe by some miracle I just hit a rough patch when I incidentally tuned in for those short few times. Maybe Jersey Shore is a powerful reality television show that looks into the souls of these select dysfunctional and confused young men and women. Maybe it was the one people wrote off because they were angry with the recent slews of reality shows that have endless spinoffs or sequels. Or maybe my instincts are right, maybe everything everybody I admire and even some I don't has said about it is correct, and maybe it is just total shit TV. The ratings would certainly agree, they were so poor that audiences will thankfully not have to endure more of Jersey Shore. The fact that Fox criticized Obama because he was NOT aware of it should tell you readers something about Fox. And regarding rumours of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi running for a mayoral position in a small Alaskan town, I will say that, considering Alaska's past electoral outcomes (one in particular), I'd say she definitely has a shot, even if her recent and inevitable arrest does hamper that ambition.

I was almost a little intimidated by the fact that I was going to be mixing another one of my many Obama defendings with my bashing of Jersey Shore. I think, all things considering, I did a fairly good job. The notion of such a feat sounds really surreal and ludicrous. But hey, I'm always willing to try new things when it comes to writing. It's been awhile since I've had myself a good long rant. This was kind of refreshing.

This has been a comment on the recent bullshit from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.

Red Dead Redemption Review

"It's either me or you. And the way I see it, it might as well be you." - John Marston

I finished playing the story mode of Red Dead Redemption awhile ago. I figured it's about time I got around to reviewing this game, the first really good one I've come across in a long time.

STORY:
Rather than the acid mixed with revenge genres of western the game's predecessor Red Dead Revolver had, Redemption has a bit more of an Unforgiven tone to it. Set in 1911, the wild west is ending, but many of the gunfighters of that age are still alive. John Marston was happy to leave his bad past behind him and settle down with his family on a farm, until federal agents threaten his family's lives unless he hunts down the destructive members of his old gang. After this you trek across the open and treacherous deserts and plains of America on horseback looking for the bad guys. Maybe after catching or killing them, John can finally find his peace and earn his redemption. The story is full of good dialogue, bizarre or cool characters, and situations patterened off of the best parts of the greatest of westerns. If only more games could have stories this good.

BASICS:
Redemption has a sandbox setting very reminiscent to Grand Theft Auto. The game is practically GTA in the Old West, except not as vulgar and more fun. GTA always had a little too much ambition. There was too much stuff to do that distracted you from the main plot. RDR does have stuff like that but the extra stuff is often miniscule and not that difficult and it most importantly is not all just random stuff that doesn't tie in to the main story. It'll be hard to distract yourself from the main story anyway, because the main story is just so much fun. It is not always an extremely easy game like ones I've come across before but if one devotes their time to it the story mode can be over quickly. Even then there is still plenty of trouble you can get into. There is a constantly shifting weather pattern very similar to real life, with beautiful sunsets and dark, heavy storms and the blistering bright blue skies. It is a visual delight more than anything. But gameplay is basic point and shoot, you should have all of the button systems memorized in about a minute. Otherwise this is a very fun game that is very easy to get the hang of.

TOOLS:
Obviously you can't go in expecting some kind of Toruk type of arsenal. You get as many weapons that were prominant in the American West in that period. You will have a series of revolvers (six shooters or otherwise), a few semi-automatic pistols, rifles (repeating, scoped, or bolt action), and shotguns (double barrels, pump action, or automatic). A knife and your own fists are standard if you are looking to dish out some quieter damage. There are special items you can pick up along the way: molotov cocktails, sticks of dynamite, and throwing daggers. Occasionally you can get a hold of a monstrous gatling gun to wipe out some of the larger groups of villains. A lasso can be obtained to wrangle up an escaping target, or to catch a wild horse.

ENEMIES:
Though anyone with a gun is a potential enemy, I would try not to kill any random person unless they are trying to kill you or someone else. On the missions you take you come across a whole gallery of gunfighters, Native American renegades, and crazed lunatics. If you commit a crime, be it stealing a horse or attacking a bystander, local police will be gunning for you immediately or eventually. Thankfully in this game you have the option to give up if you stand still and unarmed for them to see, although they can kill you before you get a chance. If you cause too much trouble a posse of US Marshalls will be hunting you. You can come across a series of disturbed individuals who terrorize the innocent or a cocky duellists, but whether to face them or not is by choice. The majority of your enemies are just men with guns so they can be killed with one or two shots, but being that you are also a man with a gun you can die just as easily. The ones you really have to watch out for are the animals. Most animals are pure game that you can hunt and skin for profit, but others are very deadly. More often than not you will be attacked by wolf or coyote packs or step on a snake here and there, but what you really have to watch out for are the big ones. It is crazy how often you can be pounced by a mountain lion or trampled by a boar, but the worst is when you get mauled by a bear. You can find most of the really bad animals in the woodland and mountainous areas, that's where you will have the most trouble. Nature can be a bitch. But remember you've got plenty of guns to deal with these problems.

GRAPHICS:
The graphics for RDR deserve the most praise. This is really the most beautiful looking game I've seen. There is such attention to detail with the landscapes and terrain. It is amazing just to go riding out on horseback. I've already mentioned the everchanging weather and skylines, which just sweetens the pot. Character designs are also very well done. A lot of games rarely have the character's facial movements sync up with what their saying, but this one does it perfectly. It is just top notch.

OVERALL:
Red Dead Redemption is a fun and exciting third-person action-adventure. It is the best free roaming game I've played. It has surpassed Red Dead Revolver in every way, and I loved Red Dead Revolver. Redemption has a story and a character that are both interesting and fun to play around. You won't be disappointed once you've beaten the story mode, because there's still plenty to do. Gameplay is fast paced and enjoyable. The graphics beautiful and extremely well detailed. It delivers on everything I hoped for when I bought. It is a fun, deep, gung ho, cool as hell western. Let me remind you that I said this game is better than Grand Theft Auto. If this sounds like your type of game, then by all means, totally buy it.

This has been a review of one badass video game by Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.

The Underrated: Hard Eight

"You don't know how to count cards. Better stay away from blackjack." - Sidney

Let me introduce you readers to the Underrated. This is a new format I will be doing every once in awhile where I talk about something I feel is too and unfairly underrated. This can be movies, art, music, or people.

The first underrated item I am starting out with is the 1997 crime drama Hard Eight. The film is directed by Paul Thomas Anderson, a vastly talented filmmaker (known most recently for the acclaimed There Will Be Blood). Hard Eight was one of his first big breakthrough movies. Though it doesn't have as much fan fare and praise as Anderson's Boogie Nights and Magnolia, Hard Eight, a movie that got good reviews despite it's current underrated status, should still be given as much a chance.

The plot of the film is no where near as ambitious as Anderson's other films, but it is unique and captivating in its own way. It starts off as an older man named Sidney (Phillip Baker Hall) rather randomly partners up with an aimless young man named John (John C. Reilly). Sidney takes John under his wing and teaches him to count cards like a pro at the Las Vegas casinos. Over time they develop a father-son type of bond. Things are complicated however when Sidney and John befriend a tough but sweet prostitute/waitress (Gwyneth Paltrow), and Sidney sees bad company in the form of a cocky criminal (Samuel L. Jackson). It all winds into a very savvy, emotional story.

It is all brought together by the performance of Phillip Baker Hall (who is an underrated actor himself) as Sidney, a mysterious old timer whose past is clearly catching up to him and all he can think to do is take care of the true innocents he knows. His character is very deep and sympathetic. John C. Reilly uses his traditional spacey type of attitude while seriously playing a guy who is not as dumb as he seems. Samuel L. Jackson is, well, he's Samuel L. Jackson and that's awesome. Gwyneth Paltrow is very good in her role, sweet if not a bit stubborn. Oh yeah, Philip Seymour Hoffman, a frequent Anderson collaborator along with Hall and Reilly, has a brief scene playing a total competitive dick at the craps tables.

P.T. Anderson uses his skilled direction and writing that blurs the lines between the over the top and the poetically human. The intellect behind the dialogue and the characters' motivations are thought provoking and interesting. Hard Eight was not an astounding movie but it is a very good movie that should be given a chance if no one has ever seen it. It has a fair amount of humor, dread, drama, and heart as any other work of Anderson's and was a joy to watch. This movie being underrated is a shame.

This has been the first of hopefully quite a few issues of The Underrated from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.

What may come of dreams

DISCLAIMER: ANYTHING THE BLOGGER KNOWN AS YOUR MODEST GURU SAYS IN THIS POST IS PURELY SPECULATIVE, SATIRICAL OR USED TO MESS WITH PEOPLE'S HEADS. YOUR MODEST GURU DOES NOT PARTAKE IN DRUGUSE WHILE WRITING TO HIS FANS IN FEAR THAT HE IS MIMICKING RENOWNED GONZO JOURNALIST HUNTER S. THOMPSON. ANYONE OFFENDED BY THE FOLLOWING NONSENSICAL RANT SHOULD EITHER STOP READING OR SIMPLY GROW A SENSE OF HUMOUR.

"Dreams are the touchstones of our characters." - Henry David Thoreau

No, I am not familiar with the work of Henry David Thoreau. I got it off of Wikiquote two minutes ago. I do that with almost every one of my precious quotes, and the majority of my information and facts comes from Wikipedia and Youtube sources. So now you can clearly see I am almost totally transparent. How's that for modesty you cocksu--

(YOU MUST EXCUSE YMG. IT IS MEDICATION TIME. MEDICATION TIME.)

I have to apologize for what happened before, I replaced the uppers I got from the guy on the corner with downers my struggling artist friend Lionel supplied. Fortunately I am now stoned out of my mind, and therefore I am in the right mindset to do this post. In this post I will be giving you my input on funny existential things like the mysteries of the human mind, dreams, hallucinogenic drug research, and tons of other gibberish inspired by my current state. Let's begin,

First off I just have to say, I LOVE spam and green beans. It's the goods. Mmmmm......

Anyways, dreams have always perplexed human beings. Some people try to find meaning within them. Most people think it is just their imaginations working overtime while they sleep. Some people believe dreams are a passage way into different realms and reveal knowledge beyond human comprehension. I honestly don't know. I think it's just one of those mysteries of life that we may never solve.

What spawned these thoughts, aside from my recent viewing of the cinematic mindfuck pleasure that was Inception, was my recent introduction to the widely popular hallucinogenic Dimethyltryptamine (tee hee, try saying that ten times fast). This drug can be found in plants and certain areas within animals and humans. It is believed the drug, abbreviated DMT, plays a key role in dreams, near-death experiences, and supposed alien sightings. It is something of a brief trip to the road of your own subconscious. The experience is different for everyone, but many come back with similar and positive viewpoints on it. Whatever visceral world they are brought to leaves them with a sort of renewed sense of the world. I won't try DMT anytime soon for a number of reasons. 1, because I need to start taking actual psychedelic drugs before I try something this big. 2, because DMT is the most expensive psychedelic out there. 3, because a user of DMT has said it is not wise to try DMT until you have a clear understanding of how things in the world work.

Though the prospect that DMT reveals a deeper part of a person's subconscious in a sort of waking dream rather than vivid hallucinations raises an old theory of mine. A quick trip that apparently supplies people with some further insight into the world and maybe even the universe itself. If the average human being uses 10% of their brain, with NASA scientists and various other Einsteins using slightly more, and with all we've accomplished with that 10 to 15 or 20 percents, than what would happen if we were able to tap in to the full hundred percent? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that DMT can grant that kind of brain power (if I'm right, at the very most it only shows a glimpse into our full potential). But if by some miracle we were able to harness that knowledge, human beings could possibly leave behind any primordial part and be like these godlike beings. It would be as if for the past few thousand years we've existed we've had this unfathomable power locked inside of us. But I guess that saying that is kind of like saying the mind is a prison for our true essence. Maybe that's what god or deities like it are, if there are such things, an essence rather than something with a mind. I don't know, I'm getting too what iffy about all this. Just a theory.

I never like to believe anyone's "the meaning of it all theories" because really I think if there is a meaning of it all we aren't supposed to know what it is. And if I did know, it probably wouldn't make me any happier or sadder about my life. No drug, no dream, no one can give me any sense that there is some way someone like me can be blessed with knowledge such as that. I never liked the idea that when we die we either go to a paradise if we were obedient and devout or a prison if we were disobedient and bad, nor do I like the idea that our minds evaporate and our bodies just rot in the dirt. When I die, if anything has to happen, I would only like to be shown the answer to that question: the meaning of it all. After that I think I'd become one with the universe and that's what happens when we die. Still, I don't really know. Can't know.

I will only say dream on and don't think as much about this as I obviously do. It makes your head hurt.

This has been a little trip down the rabbit hole with Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.

Fuck the Pohlice

"...If you want to test a man's character, give him power." - Abraham Lincoln

The stereotype that police officers around the world regularly abuse power has not deteriorated over the years. You give a man weapons and a badge and turn him loose on the world, you have to expect that just maybe the man will have a higher opinion of himself. America has become somewhat infamous for it's high level of police brutality within the last few decades. Some may recall the The Watts Riots of '65 and The Los Angeles Riots of '62. Many believe the riots in Watts were brought on by a boiling point of people of different race enduring police brutality. The latter definitely, as it was ignited by the beating of Rodney King, an African American man beaten by multiple police officers.

My generation is not without its share of this kind of injustice. Many remember the college kid who was brutally, unnecessarily, and illegally tasered by police officers, who were clearly conservative, for asking former Presidential candidate legitimate but nonetheless liberal questions at a conference. "DON'T TASE ME, BRO!" Yeah that thing. It didn't stop there either, we've got all sorts of situations these days involving innocent and clearly non-violent people getting physically assualted by cops. The tasing penalty is reserved for anyone, from insolent five year-olds to misunderstood fifty-seven year-old school teachers. So yeah, apparently if you don't listen to a cop there's no rules and regulations, it's just taser time. God bless America.

Of course I'm not saying all cops are powertripping loose cannons, but there is this never-ending element of control and power that some people with the badge seem to desire. You know who else have those kinds of elements: rapists. Come on officers, the motto is "to serve and protect" so hop fucking to it. To all the good guys out there, keep the streets safe, even from your police bretheren. Help take a bite out of crime... and corruption.

This has been a slightly more modest Modest PSA from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.

Inception Review

"Your mind is the scene of the crime." - tagline

Movies like this give me hope that sci fi movies won't always be lost to senseless action, half baked scripts, and excessive CGI. Movies like this give me hope for movies in general, because this is a movie that is complex, gripping, vastly interesting, vastly entertaining, and, above all else, original. Inception is the movie I have been dying to see all year. A movie that I could tell from the trailers deserved its hype and would be my kind of movie. I've seen it twice now, and now I'll tell you what I thought about it.

I will try to sum up the basic outline of the plot. Dominic Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) is a master in the newest form of corporate espionage: Extraction, wherein he and his team of experts can enter a mind through dreams, steal ideas buried in their target's subconscious, and sell the idea to the highest bidder. After a failed job puts Cobb in a jam, a shady businessman and former target named Saito (Ken Watanabe) offers him the job. Saito wants Cobb to pull off inception, where instead of stealing an idea he must plant one inside the target's mind. With the offer of cleaning his criminal slate, Cobb accepts and assembles his team. The job of inception itself is difficult, but what may be the main problem for Cobb are his own demons that still haunt his mind. It's pretty freaking cool.

With a big budget and a genius filmmaker behind it, Inception turns out to be the most exciting, creative, and epic movie to come out since Avatar. Being a combination of crime sagas, psychological thrillers, and sci fi action it rises to the top of all said genres. Its primary theme is fantasy vs. reality, but redemption is a touchstone as well. I feel you just have to admire a movie that has an intricate and effective mythology. This movie has one, and while some may feel there was an overabundance of exposition, I didn't care because I enjoy being filled in on stuff I have no idea about, especially when that stuff is awesome. The most intriguing thing is this movie deals with something everyone can relate to. We all dream. The characters in this movie are experts on dreams and all of the little things we all notice during them. Most crime movies involve big and complex schemes for the thieves to get what they want, but this is the biggest and most complex plan I've ever seen. Time more then anything is a factor, and more difficult than ever because as the characters go deeper into dreams, dreams within dreams, and even the subconscious time constantly changes. And of course, being a crime thriller too, something is bound to go totally wrong. A dream seems almost like an organism of its own, your mind can figure out when it is being tampered with and will try to negate whatever is doing the tampering. This is bad when the mind figures it out in time, but even worse when the mind is trained to figure out and rebel with extreme prejudice. Luckily though, if you're smart enough you can manipulate the world of the dream as much as you want. This review could be a two parter with as much detail and description given in this movie; I could honestly see Inception having a novelization.

The idea of not being able to tell the difference between fantasy and reality and what is real and what isn't real has been toyed with in a number of films. The Matrix is most famous, but then there were also the very great movies Dark City and Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind. Still I don't think any of them are as deep as this when it comes to those subjects. Here more than anywhere else you don't know what is real or what is a dream. Even the characters question these things. This is even more true to the film's subject matter, because really, no matter how incredible or screwed up it is, when you are dreaming you really just take it as it comes and don't notice anything wrong. In those aspects, it's safe to say this movie will leave the audience second guessing themselves as much as the characters.

It goes without saying that the technical mechanics of this movie are outstanding. I'm sure you've all seen the dream city of Paris folding on top of itself in the promos for the film. This is a movie with a laundry list of visual wizardry, misleading or shifting structures, and dreamscapes that bend to the will of reality or the reality of other dreams and it is all amazing to look at. The fact that the dream world is the film's playground grants a free pass in more ways than one. For instance, in many action movies you see characters doing things that no people could logically do in the real world, but these people are in a dream and we all know you can do things in dreams you could never do in real life. I love the fact that for a movie that has dozens of people being beaten, trampled, shot, or blown up, only two or three people actually die. Enough with dream stuff, what about the stuff people notice but may not fully appreciate. Hans Zimmer's score is phenomenal, it is at times ominous, other times mysterious, and always intense and suspenseful. Listening to the music, you can feel the presence of impending doom. The cinematography by Wally Pfister is as always crystal clear and mesmerising.

The acting above all is top notch, especially for such a big budget action film. The key was having the whole cast full of tremendously convincing actors. Leonardo DiCaprio is his usual cool, powerhouse self and brings as much finesse and depth to his performance as ever. You feel for his character. Also, I think DiCaprio fits very well in action roles, mostly because he plays well in harrowing, frantic situations. Joseph Gordon Levitt shines once again as DiCaprio's right hand man, Arthur, a very charming and smooth criminal. Levitt proves again and again that he is becoming one of the most versatile stars in Hollywood. Ellen Page shows up as Ariadne, a new recruit who designs the architecture of the dreams. Page, another extraordinary new star, is in a very different role than her previous ones and holds her own as always. I'm glad her character was also essential in more ways than just her dream expertise. Tom Hardy plays Eames, the suave and deadly dreamworld con man with a lot of wit and control, and is probably the movie's main comic highlight. Dileep Rao once again stars in a big budget action movie and is effective as usual, this time playing the team's chemist, Yusuf. The acclaimed Ken Watanabe stars as cool and shifty Saito, and is able to turn him from a ruthless, villainous type to a sympathetic person effectively. Marion Cotillard plays a very multilayered and surprising character in the film, and her appearances are always very haunting. Though Cillian Murphy is not given as much to do as the rest of the cast, he brings his usual A game as Saito's to be rival/target for inception. Veteren actors like Michael Caine, Pete Postlethwaite, Tom Berenger, and Lucas Haas are brought in in small roles or cameos and make the movie even more awesome. So if you can't tell the acting is pretty well solid in this movie.

In closing, I will strongly urge you, reader, to go see Inception. There is just too much to say that I can't fit in this review. The only way you will really understand is if you go see it. Be blown away, be astounded, or be totally and utterly confused. Either way it's still excellent entertainment. Christopher Nolan is one of the best directors out there because he takes the time to write and direct movies that are feasts for the eyes, the ears, and the mind especially. I'm not even effected by the fact that the movie is over two and a half hours long, I enjoyed every damn minute of it. It is so far the best movie of the year, standing right above Toy Story 3, and I would not be at all surprised if it is going to be a Best Picture contender. Inception is one of the best movies to be released in a long while, and I am almost ashamed of taking up the time you could be spending watching it by having you read my review. It ends here, 10 out of 5 stars, go see it and sweet dreams.

This has been a mind bending review from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.

Recent News that I probably should have talked about sooner

I realize I've been shying away from real news for a long while now, preferring instead to give my thoughts and poorly edited listings of things like Lost, movie reviews, and other things that really could have been shelved in favor of the things that matter. So now I will go through and talk about some of the real news that's been going for the past few months or so that I missed. If I forget anything I'm sorry, I am modest so I admit I make mistakes.

1. BP had a massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, killing countless sea life and building up large amounts of pollution. I feel like a dick for not saying something sooner, but in truth, everyone was talking about it so I really don't think I would've said anything different.

2. Jersey Shore is fucking bullshit. I'd said it's just my opinion, but honestly, it is not. And yes, I do think that comes second to the oil spill. IT'S THAT BAD!!!

3. Eminem proves once again he is one of, if not the greatest rap artist with his new album Recovery. Recovery, indeed.

4. Mel Gibson, an actor and filmmaker I have deep respect for, loses major points once again for his near psychotic treatment of his wife. This time, not only do his outrageous prejudices come out, but also his misogyny, pettiness, and violent temper. Real classy, Mel.

5. Lindsay Lohan goes to jail. Tragic, that poor soul finally lost. Just didn't when to say when--Oh wait, it's only for 90 days. Than why the hell was she bawling her eyes out in court. She has been arrested for drug and alcohol abuse, violated probation, avoided rehab meetings, caused several car accidents, fleed the scenes of said accidents, lied to the authorities numerous times, will probably be pampered to no ends in prison due to her celebrity status, and only has to spend two months there. I think you will survive, honey. I realize she was more than likely crying not because of the length of her term (short as it is), but because of the realization of how bad she's screwed up. Though that is understandable, I still think even she had to have seen this coming.

6. A woman puts her son up for adoption when she is younger and is kept up to date on him for about thirteen years via the adoptive parents, until recently. After this, she searches for him on Facebook, finds him, befriends him both on the web and in person, and then sleeps with him multiple times...Charming. She is awaiting a nine to thirty year prison term, and I must again simply ask: what did you think was gonna happen. The real shame is this woman was pretty attractive. I don't know if it makes this better or worse. Neither.

7. The Dark Tower movie adaptation's makers has been changed since director J.J. Abrams and writers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse (the creative team behind Lost) have left the project, sadly. Now the guys behind the adaptation are Academy Award winning director Ron Howard (Frost/Nixon, A Beautiful Mind, The DaVinci Code, Apollo 13) and writer Akiva Goldsman (A Beautiful Mind, The DaVinci Code, I Am Legend). This is a good duo and I'm sure they will make a decent movie out of the series. Though I do have my doubts. They plan to make the seven book series into a movie trilogy and I haven't forgotten the bad these two have wrought as well. Howard did direct the How the Grinch Stole Christmas movie and Goldsman was the writer of Batman and Robin and Lost in Space. Keeping my fingers crossed.

8. The Healthcare Reform has proven, to me at least, fairly unaffective. The bastards who are supposed to help us and save our lives prove once again how fucking cheap and thieving they really are.

9. Lebron James has teamed with the Miami Heat. I don't know if this is good or bad.

10. Julia Gillard became the first female Prime Minister of Australia. Good for her, maybe America can learn by example in the future. wink wink

11. Oh, looks like they've finally fixed that broken BP oil rig. No more pollution and death for you, sea life. I guess they could resolve the issue after about a month. They didn't even need the help of experts like Kevin Costner and James Cameron. God bless, Britain. But not BP, no.

Well that's all on wavelength right now. If more should be there, I once again apologize, for my mind does generally inhabit the world of entertainment and media. In fact most of this "real news" was media related. Oh dammit, I'M A FAILURE!!!

This has been what passes for news for Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.

What I've Been Watching

After a combination of Netflix and Lost reawakened my thirst for television drama, I've been watching quite a few shows. Some have been fantastic, others not as gripping. Here are my thoughts on the shows I've been watching.

LOST

A truly addictive and epic saga. Lost is perhaps one of the smartest and most entertaining stories I've been familiar with. It has everything you could possibly want. It is also very rare to see a show with a mythology as complex as this be so very character driven. It is edgy, complex and one helluva journey. Lost is a show you cannot turn away from and are missing out if you haven't watched it (I guarentee you'll make time for it and fly through it fast.) I am very sad that it is over.

DEXTER

A Showtime drama that puts a new spin on the CSI/Law and Order type of drama by placing a vigilante serial killer in the police department. Many people are repulsed to even try to watch Dexter due to the whole serial killer element. Dexter is probably the goriest show I've seen, but ironically it is also one of the sweetest. Supreme acting by the main cast, clever and intelligent writing, and unbelieveably suspenseful. There are a lot of shows where the audience is either restricted to the side of good or the side of evil by a line. When watching Dexter, you can feel free and are even totally willing to walk back and forth past that line. It is a lot of fun to watch, and it is very fascinating when you end up liking and even loving the deranged but good intentioned Dexter and applaud him when he kills the very worst people.

SUPERNATURAL

Being a childhood fan of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and Angel, it was good having yet another and even more appealing monster-fighting show running. It's almost as perfect a show for me like Lost and Dexter: two badass rock n' roll enthusiastic brothers drive across America in their classic muscle car full of guns and mystical items all to fight the forces of evil. There is almost never a dull moment. Supernatural is an action-horror series for the books. It is a show that really doesn't get as much praise as it should.

RED VS. BLUE

An internet show that really gave machinima a name. Red vs. Blue has evolved almost as much as Star Trek over the years. Once using edited Halo gameplay and voice acting to tell a story, they have recently gone into the use of CGI which makes for even more astonishing entertainment. Red vs. Blue is also clever and funny as hell while also having an always interesting and growing storyline. Based around a civil war between two teams that consist of very idiotic and lazy anti-heroes, Red vs. Blue isn't what you'd expect when first viewing. I watched it, I stuck with it, and I wasn't disappointed.

BREAKING BAD

A crime drama like Dexter where it deals with characters that are realistic and utterly human despite all of the incredible and bizarre things happening around them. The concept is just terrific: Walter White is an ordinary family man and chemistry teacher, but after learning he has terminal cancer he sets out to make a profit by cooking crystal meth with the help of his former student, hoping to leave the money he makes for his family. It has powerful acting (Bryan Cranston is one of the best on TV) and very smart writing. It's a darkly comedic but often very intense and depressing look at how far people will go to protect what's theirs and also how evil people can be. It is stark, haunting, clever, and always intriguing.

CALIFORNICATION

This is a show that appeals to my latent older self, because I imagine I will be a lot like Hank Moody when I'm older. A down in the dumps, sarcastic, cynical, easily distracted, middle aged struggling author (just minus all of the sex.) This another Showtime series where, despite its dark and graphic overtones, it is still a very sweet and character driven story. Even though Hank procrastinates in some of the most lascivious ways, we are still on his side more or less and want him to succeed in his life. The real juice of this show is David Duchovney's (you know, Mulder from The X-Files) performance. This is a perfect role for him, and with it he makes a perfect character. It's a good little drama. It's like Sex and the City for dudes...no wait, that's Entourage.

DOLLHOUSE

Almost every possible Joss Whedon conception that has hit television has in some way been phenomenal. The only problem is he keeps going back to Fox for show running, guarenteeing his truly amazing shows like Firefly and Dollhouse are sure to be cancelled. Dollhouse however got more of a run than Firefly, lasting two seasons. In those two seasons, I was graced with a very unique science fiction action story. Even though we got more case of the week stories than the overall saga, which was rushed, the show was still a helluva lot of fun.

FIREFLY

This really pisses me off. It is a crime for a show with this much promise to be cancelled in favor of a lot of the other bullshit shows that have gone nowhere on Fox. The few episodes of Firefly released was like TV series crack cocaine, it is utterly addictive and makes all other things seem unworthy of your attention. Perhaps the show was too different to survive, but it was more than likely the fact that Fox put this on the Friday night schedule where everyone would be off work for the weekend and going out instead of spending time watching tv. But Firefly, a show that makes all recent Star Wars spin offs look like a drunken caricature artist's doodles, wasn't even allowed to end off the way Whedon wanted, unlike Dollhouse which was killed by the same problems as Firefly. At least the show was given a little more grace after the release of the spinoff movie Serenity. Watch this show and Serenity back to back and you will not be disappointed.

THE SIMPSONS

Though not as great as it used to be, The Simpsons still holds up as one of America's greatest TV shows and is still pretty funny. I think it relates more strongly to 90s pop culture and though it's parodies of 2000's pop culture is still enjoyable it isn't as good. I just don't think I will ever stop loving it, because honestly it is the first show I ever really loved. So there's that nostalgia factor. It is also still enjoyable because it hasn't really changed its style like Family Guy. The Simpsons lives on forever in my opinion.

COWBOY BEBOP

Combining several familiar action genres (martial arts, western, sci fi, pulp fiction, film noir) into one slick and compelling show, Cowboy Bebop delivers as much wall to wall action and adventure as any other anime out there. Following a group of outlaws in a rickety ship (like Firefly, I know), we are faced with a show that is witty with its characters, intense and fast paced with its action, and classy with its storytelling. Cowboy Bebop is lots of fun.

TRIGUN

Containing the best of any good anime, Trigun delivers an of course unique adventure set in a sci fi dystopia where we follow one man and his endless, yet very unintended cycle of destruction. While appeasing the good natured humor of most people for a lot of the time, there is a deep darkness breaking through the seams of the story. It takes itself seriously and therefore so can we. Trigun is highly recommended and well worth the watch.

GIRLS BRAVO

Existing in the harem genre of Japanese animes, Girls Bravo is a bizarre, crazy, but nevertheless exciting and enjoyable show about one extraordinarily uptight boy and the girls who want him. Despite its huge fantasy elements, Girls Bravo is kind of a satire on teen friendship, sex, and angst. Out of all of the anime shows I've seen, this is without a doubt the most fun, because it is almost so uniquely original as compared to the other shows, great as they are. Aside from nudity and some language (which is only used to a cartoonish affect), Girls Bravo is a sweet and off the wall comedy.

There are many other shows I could talk about, but these were the ones that really appealed to me at the moment. There are some shows that used to be good but have now just become tasteless and reprehensible (Family Guy, American Dad). Shows that had promise but deteriorated due to high hopes for itself or stupid ideas (Flashfoward, Heroes). Shows that are good but aren't really what I'm into right now (Party of Five, Chuck). New shows that are very clearly not going anywhere (Persons Unknown). Shows that I need to get caught up or started on (True Blood, Prison Break, Deadwood). Or shows that I really just grew out of (Friends, Veronica Mars, South Park). So for now I'm sticking with the ones from above, or at least the ones above that are still on.

This has been a little insight into my TV life from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.

Predators Review

"You are one ugly motherfucker." - Dutch Schaeffer (Arnold Schwarzeneggar)

Being a childhood fan of the original 1980s sci fi action movie, I was pumped to get back in the jungle when Predators started promotion. The original, while mainly one of the dozens of Schwarzeneggar actioner to come out in the 80s, was an intense, fun, and really cool science fiction thriller. It delivered a new and now very popular idea for an alien. The Predator. In that film it ambushed an elite commando unit dispatched into South American jungles. A sequel was produced a few short years later, that put a Predator in the middle of a horrifically humid Los Angeles, where it interrupted a war between gangsters and the LAPD. Then there were the Alien vs. Predator movies, a good idea that turned out mediocre due to it being handled by Paul W.S. Anderson, the man who ruined Mortal Kombat and Resident Evil with his lameass filmmaking. So yeah, let's just forget about that. But now we are graced with a REAL sequel to the previous two Predator films. Let's get back in the jungle.

Now the premise is this: a select few of Earth's deadliest killers, as well as a few not from Earth, are abducted by the Predators and dropped onto an alien planet that is used as a game preserve. The human candidates (tee hee) - consisting of an American mercenary Royce (Adrien Brody), an IDF sniper Isabelle (Alice Braga), an African freedom fighter Mombasa (Mahershalalhashbaz Ali), a Russian Spetsnaz commando Yuri (Oleg Taktarov), a death row inmate Stans (Walton Goggins), a secretive doctor Edwin (Topher Grace), a Yakuza assassin Hanzo (Louis Changchien), and a Mexican drug cartel enforcer Cuchillo (Danny Trejo) - must work together to survive the new breed of Predators, their treacherous traps, and the other creatures dropped on to the planet with them. Make way for the guns and violence.

As far as story goes, there's not a whole lot of it. The story is as clear cut as the above paragraph states: Run, fight, or die. What really carries the movie is the Predators and the characters we are introduced to. They pretty much are all ruthless killers, but they still have personalities. Every one of them gets a chance to shine in a battle and they are all badasses. The only problem is they all have their own interesting personalities, you kinda want to get to know them better but that doesn't really get to happen because they start to get picked off one by one. There are character bits I really enjoyed: the death row inmate Stans' deranged but very candid vulgarity; the Yakuza man Hanzo preferring to walk barefoot in the jungle than ruin his shoes. I really like the fact that there is a blood feud between this new advanced group of Predators and the original Predators. A Predator is always an interesting creature, the way it moves, the way it fights, the way it hunts. Predators really do embody the perfect killers, it's terrifying to even think about going toe to toe with one. They have their vast array of cool toys: the cloaking device, the voice mimicry, a retractable forearm blade, the shoulder cannon, the nets (which usually cut into you when you struggle, but not here), heat and sonar vision. Spoiler!!! There is unfortunately no arm nuke, at least none that was used (I'm kinda glad they didn't; it kinda makes the universe's perfect killers look like cheap pussies when they can just nuke everyone if they start to lose). So yeah the good guys were awesome to watch and the Predators were clearly awesome to watch.

Now on to the technical aspect. The direction is by Nimrod Antal, who directed a very suspensful thriller called Vacancy that I enjoyed. Here he directs with as much skill and talent as John McTiernan once did for the original film. Robert Rodriguez is the one who got this film going though, and with his name in the title cards I had to expect a freaking terrific action flick; unless it's a PG-13 kids movie otherwise I don't wanna be involved (I get bad chills when I think of Spy Kids.) There are a lot of callbacks to the first movie that I really loved. The film uses the same score which was awesome and even has a Little Richard tune thrown in. I've always found the jungle to be a very unique place to have a story set. A jungle can be so beautiful and intricate like a city while also being dangerous and unforgiving like a desert. Plus, what better place for survival and a good hunt. There are even similar scenes from the original: "Turn around! Over here!", "COME ON, KILL ME!", a fatalistic mono y mono fight, a fall by a waterfall. The actors are all well chosen and are all convincing. A lot of people didn't have faith in Adrien Brody as the man to carry the Arnold torch this time around; I did and I wasn't wrong, he was a total badass (there needs to be a movie that has nothing but Oscar winners playing badasses, they'd call it The Academy.) Alice Braga was great and I knew she would be too; she's getting more and more movie roles and with good reason, she is an effective actress. Topher Grace (yes, Eric from That '70s Show) is quick witted and sarcastic as ever, but I'm glad there was more to him. He shows he can really really act here. Laurence Fishburne was awesome though his role was mainly used for exposition, but it's always great seeing him. He went from a laconic badass to a raving lunatic in a really funny way, it was like a weird caricature. I wish Danny Trejo had been around longer, he seems to always play 15 second badasses; at least Rodriguez is finally giving him his own movie. Everyone is great, let's leave it at that. To sum it up, special effects are terrific, I'm glad the Predators weren't total CGI, the sets were fantastic, the acting was great, directing was great.

It's been awhile since I've seen a really good action movie. I love reliving old classics as well so I got everything I wanted. There will be negative reviews of course, but in my opinion Predators was awesome. It was a bit like what people are saying: Predators is to Predator what Aliens was to Alien. I like that idea. It was fun, exhilerating even, suspenseful, scary and a kick ass summer movie. If you want just like an uber badass experience and a movie that is smart but not really complex, this is it. I had a helluva time watching this so go GET TO THE CHOPPAH and check it out if you fancy.

This has been another somewhat nostalgic review from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.