I realize I've been shying away from real news for a long while now, preferring instead to give my thoughts and poorly edited listings of things like Lost, movie reviews, and other things that really could have been shelved in favor of the things that matter. So now I will go through and talk about some of the real news that's been going for the past few months or so that I missed. If I forget anything I'm sorry, I am modest so I admit I make mistakes.
1. BP had a massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, killing countless sea life and building up large amounts of pollution. I feel like a dick for not saying something sooner, but in truth, everyone was talking about it so I really don't think I would've said anything different.
2. Jersey Shore is fucking bullshit. I'd said it's just my opinion, but honestly, it is not. And yes, I do think that comes second to the oil spill. IT'S THAT BAD!!!
3. Eminem proves once again he is one of, if not the greatest rap artist with his new album Recovery. Recovery, indeed.
4. Mel Gibson, an actor and filmmaker I have deep respect for, loses major points once again for his near psychotic treatment of his wife. This time, not only do his outrageous prejudices come out, but also his misogyny, pettiness, and violent temper. Real classy, Mel.
5. Lindsay Lohan goes to jail. Tragic, that poor soul finally lost. Just didn't when to say when--Oh wait, it's only for 90 days. Than why the hell was she bawling her eyes out in court. She has been arrested for drug and alcohol abuse, violated probation, avoided rehab meetings, caused several car accidents, fleed the scenes of said accidents, lied to the authorities numerous times, will probably be pampered to no ends in prison due to her celebrity status, and only has to spend two months there. I think you will survive, honey. I realize she was more than likely crying not because of the length of her term (short as it is), but because of the realization of how bad she's screwed up. Though that is understandable, I still think even she had to have seen this coming.
6. A woman puts her son up for adoption when she is younger and is kept up to date on him for about thirteen years via the adoptive parents, until recently. After this, she searches for him on Facebook, finds him, befriends him both on the web and in person, and then sleeps with him multiple times...Charming. She is awaiting a nine to thirty year prison term, and I must again simply ask: what did you think was gonna happen. The real shame is this woman was pretty attractive. I don't know if it makes this better or worse. Neither.
7. The Dark Tower movie adaptation's makers has been changed since director J.J. Abrams and writers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse (the creative team behind Lost) have left the project, sadly. Now the guys behind the adaptation are Academy Award winning director Ron Howard (Frost/Nixon, A Beautiful Mind, The DaVinci Code, Apollo 13) and writer Akiva Goldsman (A Beautiful Mind, The DaVinci Code, I Am Legend). This is a good duo and I'm sure they will make a decent movie out of the series. Though I do have my doubts. They plan to make the seven book series into a movie trilogy and I haven't forgotten the bad these two have wrought as well. Howard did direct the How the Grinch Stole Christmas movie and Goldsman was the writer of Batman and Robin and Lost in Space. Keeping my fingers crossed.
8. The Healthcare Reform has proven, to me at least, fairly unaffective. The bastards who are supposed to help us and save our lives prove once again how fucking cheap and thieving they really are.
9. Lebron James has teamed with the Miami Heat. I don't know if this is good or bad.
10. Julia Gillard became the first female Prime Minister of Australia. Good for her, maybe America can learn by example in the future. wink wink
11. Oh, looks like they've finally fixed that broken BP oil rig. No more pollution and death for you, sea life. I guess they could resolve the issue after about a month. They didn't even need the help of experts like Kevin Costner and James Cameron. God bless, Britain. But not BP, no.
Well that's all on wavelength right now. If more should be there, I once again apologize, for my mind does generally inhabit the world of entertainment and media. In fact most of this "real news" was media related. Oh dammit, I'M A FAILURE!!!
This has been what passes for news for Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
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