"Each one of us was brought here for a reason." - John Locke
I said awhile ago in my Dollhouse post that my next few posts would be about the godliness that is the ABC show Lost in tribute to the show's final season when really I did anything but make references. But now I am almost out of February with only five posts in the box and frankly I'd like to have over five in each month. Here's my chance to half ass my way to my goal and to gush over my favorite live action TV show.
I also haven't done any new editions of Top Lists or Sum Ups in awhile so with all this happening at once I will Sum Up as best I can many of the characters of Lost.
BEGIN!!!... and SPOILERS
Jack Shepherd:
A troubled spinal surgeon who faces all sorts of problems. Anger issues, daddy issues, relationship issues, alcoholism, an obessessive personality. So yeah he's pretty much the standard "Dr. Jack..." character of any television drama. He also tries to find rational explanations when really there are none in his way of thinking. It gets a bit unbelieveable when he spends this short period of his life landing on a tropical island where he goes up against polar bears, a secret society, long lost scientific experiments, the forces of nature and possibly the universe, and a monster. Talk about your skeptics.
Kate Austin:
The sweetest badass fugitive I've ever seen. Though Kate really doesn't know how to plan out a murder or live a normal life, she can certainly settle in when she lands on mystery island. Though you'd think a woman with a past as dark and violent as hers would try to remain inconspicuous, but Kate signs up for every mission that might get herself killed. Nah, but really she's a real hero.
Sawyer:
The source of the show's confidence scheme aspect and number one most prominant source for pop culture references. Sawyer starts off as a sarcastic douchebag begging for his own destruction, but you spend a few weeks on the island and you'll just have to lighten up a little bit and become a sarcastic nice guy trying to start from scratch.
John Locke:
Favorite character alert! John Locke, to put it simply, is Jesus from The Last Temptation of Christ. Sure he goes from the quiet loner, to the castaways' hunter, to the spiritual wiseman, to the button presser, to the depressed non believer, to the spiritual wiseman again, to the relentless seeker of knowledge, to the calculating castaway leader, to the five second Island leader, to dead within a matter of months (or years depending on how you look at it), but Locke is still awesome. He has one of the greatest stories on the show and is always a thrilling character. They better just weave him into God in the last episode somehow though.
Charlie Pace:
A screw up, drugged out rock star whose every breath seems to be spent trying to prove he isn't a coward. He never struck me as a total coward...A loser, yes but not really a coward. Like everyone on the Island, he does some growing up. But what did Charlie contribute to the show in all. Oh yeah, that annoying ass line from his stupid ass band: "You all everybody!" Three seasons I had to listen to him say that.
Hurley:
Every show needs a lovable fat guy. It's like a rule. Though few lovable fat guys can be as interesting or lovable as Hurley. In the middle of the various ways he uses the word "dude", Hurley has one of the wildest backstories. When was the last time your lottery winning numbers got you seemingly cursed. Did I mention that the big guy was in a mental asylum for awhile. I don't think even the villains on the show have a problem with Hurley.
Sayid Jarrah:
A good move on the show's part, presenting an Iraqi man who proves to be one of the survivors' most resourceful people. Sayid is also one of the most dynamic characters. People probably didn't think much of him when he was fixing transceivers on the island, but in the real world he was an American trained torture expert in the Gulf War. If anyone needs redemption on the island, it's Sayid. Whether it's guns, explosives, fists, tech, or women Sayid is the island's only certified badass.
Sun and Jin Kwon:
Sure they at first appear to be your typical angry asian man and his fearful wife, but there's a lot more to them than that. They were once happy people whose marriage was pretty much destroyed when Jin started working for Sun's gangster father and they couldn't make babies due to sterility. But who needs marriage counseling when you can be stranded on a tropical island with a bunch of people who can't understand your language. Here Sun can show her independance and reveal her knowledge of english while Jin can overcome his anger and stop firing blanks. Yeah, pretty much your typical marriage.
Claire Littleton:
A chipper, pregnant Australian girl who loves herself some peanut butter, real or imaginary. Like Hurley, you never really have a problem with Claire (until recently maybe). She might come off as a bit immature when it comes to her baby but hey she is pregnant. While her backstory was never super interesting, you wondered why her baby was so important. I think Claire could go in the guinness book of world records regarding the delivery of her baby: Goes into labor in the middle of the jungle where her baby is delivered by a kind fugitive and the only onlookers are an antisocial Korean guy and British rock star and love interest. Hmm.
Juliett Burke:
A bit inconsistant when it comes to her role. Before we know anything about her, it seems like she is a cold, calculating sort of villain who tries to get you on her side but the flashbacks reveal she is just your average ordinary fertility doctor who is home sick. But I guess if you give anyone a gun and a mission on the island they'll be badass somehow. No, but Juliett is a nice character, I always felt sorry for her. Does she outfox Kate? Not quite.
Benjamin Linus:
Hello Zepp! Yeah I guess even on a tropical island this former Jigsaw minion finds ways to play games with people's lives and form an alliance with a once handicapped man named John. Ben used to be the main villain but I guess he's sort of like Sylar now when he kind of transitioned back and forth from being a guy you can trust to being a monster. There's another thing: you can't really believe Ben when he says things like "We're the good guys" and "You have to trust me" when he lies, manipulates, betrays, and even commits near genocide. Not that good of a guy and about as trustworthy.
Richard Alpert:
Here's a guy that caught you off guard. When he seemed to just be one of Ben's lackeys, he turns out to be one of the most prominant figures on the island. The big hint, besides that eye liner of course, was when we saw Richard in a flashback to when Ben was a kid, he looked exactly the same when Ben is in his forties in the present. Whereas Ben is a power mad jerk who doesn't mind toying with people's lives, Richard is more helpful and sympathetic. Still why doesn't he age and what the hell is up with that eye liner?
Desmond Hume:
He's pretty much Odysseus from The Odyssey. I should know, I just read it. Desmond gets stranded on the Island in race around the world and his only wish is to get back to his beloved Penelope. He's freakin' Odysseus. The main trial he faced was having to push a button in The Hatch to "save the world". He did this for three years. But once that was gone, Desmond suddenly turned into a Billy Pilgrim type character from Slaughterhouse Five (my favorite book) who can apparently see the future. He does have another Odysseus moment later when he fights Mikhail, a one eyed villain = Cyclops. Essentially Desmond provided an always interesting and crucial story arc and the greatest romance on the show. Des and Penny FTW!!! Oh how girly I can be!
Walt Lloyd:
Walt. The prime reason Lost frustrates me. What the hell was up with Walt? Appearances can be deceiving again as Walt first appeared to be your average annoying ten year old who didn't listen to his distant dad. Well that is pretty much what he was, but then again Walt definetely had powers. Anyone who is anyone who has spent time with says he's "different" and Locke and Ben claim he is special. Because Walt was only a main character for the first season (unfortunately the kid who played him couldn't just stop aging like Richard), so it is very vague as to what he could do. It seemed like Walt could will things to happen, you might notice birds die when he is angry. It was also once mentioned that Walt "appeared in a place he wasn't supposed to be." He might even be able to see the future. Even when we last saw him as a teenager, he has dreams of things to come. If Lost ends without explaining Walt, I will be angry.
So that's my Summing Up of the most crucial Lost characters. And in the next few months their destinies will finally come full circle. I am dying to see it happen. So this has been another issue of Sum Ups from Your Lost Fan...I mean Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Palin = wailin'
"As soon as you realize everything's a joke, being a comedian is the only thing that makes sense." - The Comedian
I realize I should have used that quote in darker context but I needed something and Watchmen is fair game for good lines.
Alright, as you may have been able to tell from previous posts, I'm not that crazy about modern day Republicans. That's not to say I'm in love with Democrats either. The way I see it these days Democrats are spineless, rightfully worrisome politicians who can't stop complaining about things they don't wanna take care of themselves; and Republicans are self righteous, selfish politicians who could care less about the good will of anything that doesn't contribute to their plans. So yeah, if politics stays this bad we're all going to hell real soon.
But the most popular highlight of backward, ignorant, insulting political stupidity comes from our official Lady of the People: Sarah Palin. You will recall in what must have been one of my first blog posts, titled A Sidenote of Bullshit, I expressed my deep thankfulness that Palin was apparantly leaving politics and going off trying to be Oprah 2.0. This didn't pan out and now it seems she's causing havoc in America again. I will go over the two main issues we've had with her recently.
1. The Hand Note Session:
What better way to mock President Obama reading a teleprompter than to use the next best thing. Notes written down on your palm. I'm sure Sarah didn't think she would look hypocritical by reading signs on her hand but then again I'm also sure she didn't think anyone would catch her reading them. What really bothers me is that she didn't write down small insignificant things to remark on but things like "Energy", "Tax Cuts (Marked out) I mean Budget Cuts", and "Lift American Spirit." I mean, you'd think those are things you would want to commit to memory yourself. Unless of course Palin does find those issues to be small and insignificant things to remark on. In which case, ladies and gentleman I introduce to you your 2012 Presidential candidate. God have mercy on us all.
2. Family Guy Did Not Just Say That:
You might remember that Sarah Palin's infant son, Trig (haha, nice name), has Down Syndrome. Well on a recent episode of Family Guy, a very left wing show, a main character Chris finally got up the courage to ask out his high school crush. Coincidentally, this crush turned out to be a girl with Down Syndrome. When Chris asked this girl about herself she said "My father is an accountant and my mother is the former governor of Alaska." Now that was funny, I'd wager even Jenny Macarthy laughed at that. Oh but Palin was furious that a comedy show would be so insulting. You could expect low blows from a politician like herself but not from a dark comedy television show whose main supply of jokes are more often than not politically based. This more than anything shows how much Sarah Palin cares for her child, the same Down Syndrome baby she flaunted for the public during her 2008 campaign as well as her teenage single mother daughter. Exploitation from inside the family is one thing but a joke from Family Guy is a whole 'nother. Oh but I kid. I mean, come on Sarah you can't take it too seriously. I mean, the joke was used in satire. You yourself said that things like that can be done in satire just a few days before that episode aired. You remember that right, when you said Rush Limbaugh used the word "retard" in satire so it was okay? Except this time, the situation actually was satirical, very different from Rush Limbaugh unsatirically calling people retards. I don't think there's anywhere left for me to label you a hypocrite so I'll just call you one...in satire of course.
In all seriousness though, Sarah Palin is just stupid. There hasn't been one as dumb as her since my former english teacher's ex-boyfriend, Dan Quayle. I really hate when people label her as the traditional American woman or some shit like that, because I really did give more credit to the traditional American woman. She is just terrible and she will be eaten alive by both the Left and Right if she even thinks about running for President in 2012. No one wants to deal with her. I don't want to deal with her! I can't imagine four or even eight years of another naive, idiotic so called down home American as president. We've already had one George W. Bush. Oh yeah, and before I sign off take notice of how Palin criticises Obama's administration and their so called "hopey changey thing". What the hell does that tell you people about Palin?
This been a return to the bullshit from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading...jesus!
I realize I should have used that quote in darker context but I needed something and Watchmen is fair game for good lines.
Alright, as you may have been able to tell from previous posts, I'm not that crazy about modern day Republicans. That's not to say I'm in love with Democrats either. The way I see it these days Democrats are spineless, rightfully worrisome politicians who can't stop complaining about things they don't wanna take care of themselves; and Republicans are self righteous, selfish politicians who could care less about the good will of anything that doesn't contribute to their plans. So yeah, if politics stays this bad we're all going to hell real soon.
But the most popular highlight of backward, ignorant, insulting political stupidity comes from our official Lady of the People: Sarah Palin. You will recall in what must have been one of my first blog posts, titled A Sidenote of Bullshit, I expressed my deep thankfulness that Palin was apparantly leaving politics and going off trying to be Oprah 2.0. This didn't pan out and now it seems she's causing havoc in America again. I will go over the two main issues we've had with her recently.
1. The Hand Note Session:
What better way to mock President Obama reading a teleprompter than to use the next best thing. Notes written down on your palm. I'm sure Sarah didn't think she would look hypocritical by reading signs on her hand but then again I'm also sure she didn't think anyone would catch her reading them. What really bothers me is that she didn't write down small insignificant things to remark on but things like "Energy", "Tax Cuts (Marked out) I mean Budget Cuts", and "Lift American Spirit." I mean, you'd think those are things you would want to commit to memory yourself. Unless of course Palin does find those issues to be small and insignificant things to remark on. In which case, ladies and gentleman I introduce to you your 2012 Presidential candidate. God have mercy on us all.
2. Family Guy Did Not Just Say That:
You might remember that Sarah Palin's infant son, Trig (haha, nice name), has Down Syndrome. Well on a recent episode of Family Guy, a very left wing show, a main character Chris finally got up the courage to ask out his high school crush. Coincidentally, this crush turned out to be a girl with Down Syndrome. When Chris asked this girl about herself she said "My father is an accountant and my mother is the former governor of Alaska." Now that was funny, I'd wager even Jenny Macarthy laughed at that. Oh but Palin was furious that a comedy show would be so insulting. You could expect low blows from a politician like herself but not from a dark comedy television show whose main supply of jokes are more often than not politically based. This more than anything shows how much Sarah Palin cares for her child, the same Down Syndrome baby she flaunted for the public during her 2008 campaign as well as her teenage single mother daughter. Exploitation from inside the family is one thing but a joke from Family Guy is a whole 'nother. Oh but I kid. I mean, come on Sarah you can't take it too seriously. I mean, the joke was used in satire. You yourself said that things like that can be done in satire just a few days before that episode aired. You remember that right, when you said Rush Limbaugh used the word "retard" in satire so it was okay? Except this time, the situation actually was satirical, very different from Rush Limbaugh unsatirically calling people retards. I don't think there's anywhere left for me to label you a hypocrite so I'll just call you one...in satire of course.
In all seriousness though, Sarah Palin is just stupid. There hasn't been one as dumb as her since my former english teacher's ex-boyfriend, Dan Quayle. I really hate when people label her as the traditional American woman or some shit like that, because I really did give more credit to the traditional American woman. She is just terrible and she will be eaten alive by both the Left and Right if she even thinks about running for President in 2012. No one wants to deal with her. I don't want to deal with her! I can't imagine four or even eight years of another naive, idiotic so called down home American as president. We've already had one George W. Bush. Oh yeah, and before I sign off take notice of how Palin criticises Obama's administration and their so called "hopey changey thing". What the hell does that tell you people about Palin?
This been a return to the bullshit from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading...jesus!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
My Namesake
"Names are easier classifications than bar codes." - Unknown
Tonight we shall talk about the one thing I know has kept you folks wondering. What the hell's the story behind the name Your Modest Guru? It does have a nice ring to it doesn't it?...Doesn't it? Oh well, I liked it. I came up with the name the day I decided to start my blog. I went through several ideas. Looking back, this blog probably would have sounded more appealing if I had named it The Church of Me or something like that. Some people hear "Your Modest Guru" and think "oooookay than, somethin' wrong with that boy." If so, then burn...just kidding.
Even though it was just a name I thought up with on a dime, but really it does make sense. The "your" means this isn't just for me and I'm here to give you some insight into whatever the hell it is I think. "Modest" because I'd like to think I am fair and at least somewhat humble in my opinions, though not always. I am also modest in the sense that I am pretty much a small time blogger; you really don't see me up there with Perez Hilton (not that I want to be up there with that douche). And "guru". A guru is by definition an advisor, mentor, leader (spiritual or otherwise), or expert in a particular field. I leave my community of readers to decide which one I am exactly. I'd like to think that I am only providing open mindedness in my blog, another opinion to consider. But honestly, looking back, I think the name doesn't fit well with my very cynical and sarcastic personality. In fact, I probably should have been called "The Solitary Cynic". But the name has sunk in and I am attached to it. And its what you people know me or my blog as. And so I will keep pressing on with my name intact and my thoughts ever present.
This has been a look inside the head of Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
Tonight we shall talk about the one thing I know has kept you folks wondering. What the hell's the story behind the name Your Modest Guru? It does have a nice ring to it doesn't it?...Doesn't it? Oh well, I liked it. I came up with the name the day I decided to start my blog. I went through several ideas. Looking back, this blog probably would have sounded more appealing if I had named it The Church of Me or something like that. Some people hear "Your Modest Guru" and think "oooookay than, somethin' wrong with that boy." If so, then burn...just kidding.
Even though it was just a name I thought up with on a dime, but really it does make sense. The "your" means this isn't just for me and I'm here to give you some insight into whatever the hell it is I think. "Modest" because I'd like to think I am fair and at least somewhat humble in my opinions, though not always. I am also modest in the sense that I am pretty much a small time blogger; you really don't see me up there with Perez Hilton (not that I want to be up there with that douche). And "guru". A guru is by definition an advisor, mentor, leader (spiritual or otherwise), or expert in a particular field. I leave my community of readers to decide which one I am exactly. I'd like to think that I am only providing open mindedness in my blog, another opinion to consider. But honestly, looking back, I think the name doesn't fit well with my very cynical and sarcastic personality. In fact, I probably should have been called "The Solitary Cynic". But the name has sunk in and I am attached to it. And its what you people know me or my blog as. And so I will keep pressing on with my name intact and my thoughts ever present.
This has been a look inside the head of Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
Monday, February 15, 2010
What's Up with Valentine's Day
"What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more." - Haddaway
Okay I haven't seen He's Just Not That Into You 2 --uh I mean Valentine's Day, so this is not a review. It's more of my thoughts on what I think it is and what I think about Valentine's Day in general.
Now essentially what I got out of the trailer for Valentine's Day is that Ashton Kutcher and Jessica Alba are in love, Topher Grace and Anne Hathaway are in love, Hector Elizondo and Shirley Maclaine are in love, Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift are in love, a couple of little kids are in love, Bradley Cooper and Julia Roberts are talking about being in love, Jennifer Garner and Jessica Biel are mad because they are not in love, Eric Dane seems to be posing for a magazine cover, George Lopez is acting like himself, and Jaime Foxx is looking back on that time he won the Best Actor Oscar. So yeah, what do we get in this movie: a lot of puppy love and a helluva lot of pretty people. I mean seriously, do only beautiful people fall in love on Valentine's Day? Or any day in movie world? Where's the normies? Sure you got Shirley MaClaine and Hector Elizondo as an elder couple but they were attractive people when they were younger and still are if you think about it.
There are reasons I will not see this movie. One is because, yes, I do think this looks like a cheaper and more friendly version of He's Just Not That Into You except this is sounding like He's Just Totally Into You and You Are Into Him and Can Be In Each Other. Man, a title longer than Don't Be a Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice in Da Hood, or Precious: Based on The Novel "Push" by Sapphire. But yeah, whereas He's Just Not That Into You was about relationships that are very complicated and some even very flawed, Valentine's Day seems to be just a Hallmark Card of a movie involving several couples from several different romantic comedies. If I was gonna have that I would have included interesting couples like the ones from Punch Drunk Love, Say Anything, (500) Days of Summer, Annie Hall, Forest Gump, and Gone With The Wind.
Gosh I'm making a lot of references here aren't I?
Even the actors aren't that inviting. Sure I like almost all of them, but they don't seem to be doing anything but being lovey dovey sweet. And hey that's fine by me, but dammit I want more than that. Couples like Grace and Hathaway, MaClaine and Elizondo, and Cooper and Roberts give me some hope but it's otherwise a loss. It's strange seeing Jennifer Garner and Jessica Biel, two girls I know can be bad asses, keep themselves in this repetitive genre of film when I think they could stretch for much more. Sorry Ashton Kutcher, not even your boyishly goofy charisma can't grip me. Director Garry Marshall, strives for everyone who is anyone to see this movie. In filmmaking terms, this is genius. He even gets the mutated offspring of both the country lover demographic and the Twihard demographic by having Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner make out. That's something weird I found in the trailers too, Taylor Swift (in what should be her breakout role into mainstream films) appears to be really off putting even from the trailers. This is very apparent where she seems to be doing some kind of bad go go dance on a football field. I'm sure she'd like to thank the Academy.
Now Garry Marshall is great romantic comedy director, he did the very lovely and graceful Pretty Woman back in the 90s and got Julia Roberts huge fame. It's almost a wonder Richard Gere didn't show up in this celebrity orgy of a Garry Marshall cast. With Marshall as director and most of the stars, Valentine's Day might not be a bad film like my sources have claimed.
But the main flaw of the movie, that segues into my other topic, is that the movie seems to be the latest huge promotion for, you guessed it: VALENTINE'S DAY. That's right I agree with the notion that Valentine's Day was originally only a huge monstrous scheme by the greeting card industry to make more money. That's right folks, Hallmark thrives on your LOVE. All of the traditions of Valentine's Day are carefully orchestrated just to get you to shop more. It's not just Hallmark or other greeting card vices, it's just about every business that survives on consumerism. You shop for candy, you shop for jewelry, you shop for some present, you shop for those shoes she wanted a few weeks ago, you shop for the watch he was staring at every time you went to the mall. You can't go wrong, one way or another you'll buy something or some things and there is an intake of the spoils to the stores downtown.
The funny thing is, they've tricked you into thinking you are buying all of these things out of love. If you thought you were doing the things you were doing out of love that would mean that you do love said person or people if you're freaky in the sack. If you have love for one another than, as the late and great John Lennon once said, that is all you need. There is no law that says you have to buy a gift for your intimate one. It probably won't satisfy them anyway. Maybe what will satisfy is something they haven't been asking for, not something with a price tag on it. Maybe a nice dinner, a long talk about the little things, sex (I'm no expert, but I think that might be a pleasing gift, unless you are terrible in bed, but we won't get into that). If you feel the need to buy something for your loved one than do it, it is the thought that counts but what also counts is the love you have to give. Give love. Oh and for those Garners and Biels out there who think you are worthless for not having some boy toy worshipping the ground you walk on or just shooting the shit with you, being alone on Valentine's Day is not such a bad thing. I mean, you could be alone on your anniversary or your Birthday, days when people should be there to love you. Being alone on Valentine's Day means as much as any other day. Now depending on the person this can be a good old fashioned joy of solitude day or it could be another down in the dumps, I'm all outta love day. It's the former for this blogger. Now to save myself from some hypocrite bashing, I'll say I am only a teenager and do not know a lot about love or care a whole lot about Valentine's Day. I feel the same way about Columbus Day, to me it is just a made up holiday with some bogus messages.
You know come to think of it, it's February 15th. Valentine's Day is over. What the hell am I writing this for?
Uh...This has been a late post from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
Okay I haven't seen He's Just Not That Into You 2 --uh I mean Valentine's Day, so this is not a review. It's more of my thoughts on what I think it is and what I think about Valentine's Day in general.
Now essentially what I got out of the trailer for Valentine's Day is that Ashton Kutcher and Jessica Alba are in love, Topher Grace and Anne Hathaway are in love, Hector Elizondo and Shirley Maclaine are in love, Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift are in love, a couple of little kids are in love, Bradley Cooper and Julia Roberts are talking about being in love, Jennifer Garner and Jessica Biel are mad because they are not in love, Eric Dane seems to be posing for a magazine cover, George Lopez is acting like himself, and Jaime Foxx is looking back on that time he won the Best Actor Oscar. So yeah, what do we get in this movie: a lot of puppy love and a helluva lot of pretty people. I mean seriously, do only beautiful people fall in love on Valentine's Day? Or any day in movie world? Where's the normies? Sure you got Shirley MaClaine and Hector Elizondo as an elder couple but they were attractive people when they were younger and still are if you think about it.
There are reasons I will not see this movie. One is because, yes, I do think this looks like a cheaper and more friendly version of He's Just Not That Into You except this is sounding like He's Just Totally Into You and You Are Into Him and Can Be In Each Other. Man, a title longer than Don't Be a Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice in Da Hood, or Precious: Based on The Novel "Push" by Sapphire. But yeah, whereas He's Just Not That Into You was about relationships that are very complicated and some even very flawed, Valentine's Day seems to be just a Hallmark Card of a movie involving several couples from several different romantic comedies. If I was gonna have that I would have included interesting couples like the ones from Punch Drunk Love, Say Anything, (500) Days of Summer, Annie Hall, Forest Gump, and Gone With The Wind.
Gosh I'm making a lot of references here aren't I?
Even the actors aren't that inviting. Sure I like almost all of them, but they don't seem to be doing anything but being lovey dovey sweet. And hey that's fine by me, but dammit I want more than that. Couples like Grace and Hathaway, MaClaine and Elizondo, and Cooper and Roberts give me some hope but it's otherwise a loss. It's strange seeing Jennifer Garner and Jessica Biel, two girls I know can be bad asses, keep themselves in this repetitive genre of film when I think they could stretch for much more. Sorry Ashton Kutcher, not even your boyishly goofy charisma can't grip me. Director Garry Marshall, strives for everyone who is anyone to see this movie. In filmmaking terms, this is genius. He even gets the mutated offspring of both the country lover demographic and the Twihard demographic by having Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner make out. That's something weird I found in the trailers too, Taylor Swift (in what should be her breakout role into mainstream films) appears to be really off putting even from the trailers. This is very apparent where she seems to be doing some kind of bad go go dance on a football field. I'm sure she'd like to thank the Academy.
Now Garry Marshall is great romantic comedy director, he did the very lovely and graceful Pretty Woman back in the 90s and got Julia Roberts huge fame. It's almost a wonder Richard Gere didn't show up in this celebrity orgy of a Garry Marshall cast. With Marshall as director and most of the stars, Valentine's Day might not be a bad film like my sources have claimed.
But the main flaw of the movie, that segues into my other topic, is that the movie seems to be the latest huge promotion for, you guessed it: VALENTINE'S DAY. That's right I agree with the notion that Valentine's Day was originally only a huge monstrous scheme by the greeting card industry to make more money. That's right folks, Hallmark thrives on your LOVE. All of the traditions of Valentine's Day are carefully orchestrated just to get you to shop more. It's not just Hallmark or other greeting card vices, it's just about every business that survives on consumerism. You shop for candy, you shop for jewelry, you shop for some present, you shop for those shoes she wanted a few weeks ago, you shop for the watch he was staring at every time you went to the mall. You can't go wrong, one way or another you'll buy something or some things and there is an intake of the spoils to the stores downtown.
The funny thing is, they've tricked you into thinking you are buying all of these things out of love. If you thought you were doing the things you were doing out of love that would mean that you do love said person or people if you're freaky in the sack. If you have love for one another than, as the late and great John Lennon once said, that is all you need. There is no law that says you have to buy a gift for your intimate one. It probably won't satisfy them anyway. Maybe what will satisfy is something they haven't been asking for, not something with a price tag on it. Maybe a nice dinner, a long talk about the little things, sex (I'm no expert, but I think that might be a pleasing gift, unless you are terrible in bed, but we won't get into that). If you feel the need to buy something for your loved one than do it, it is the thought that counts but what also counts is the love you have to give. Give love. Oh and for those Garners and Biels out there who think you are worthless for not having some boy toy worshipping the ground you walk on or just shooting the shit with you, being alone on Valentine's Day is not such a bad thing. I mean, you could be alone on your anniversary or your Birthday, days when people should be there to love you. Being alone on Valentine's Day means as much as any other day. Now depending on the person this can be a good old fashioned joy of solitude day or it could be another down in the dumps, I'm all outta love day. It's the former for this blogger. Now to save myself from some hypocrite bashing, I'll say I am only a teenager and do not know a lot about love or care a whole lot about Valentine's Day. I feel the same way about Columbus Day, to me it is just a made up holiday with some bogus messages.
You know come to think of it, it's February 15th. Valentine's Day is over. What the hell am I writing this for?
Uh...This has been a late post from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Heroes Redemption: Conclusion
"It's a brave new world." - Sylar
After watching the last act of our latest season of Heroes I can tell you what my thoughts on it and the show in general is.
Now when we last left off, the new villain Samuel is clearly big trouble, Claire and Tracy have joined him it seems, Hiro was stuck speaking nerd, Sylar gets his body back, Peter loses his brother forever, and not a lot happened to get to that point. Now I must admit, this was a pretty dull season. Season 2 was more entertaining and I didn't really like season 2. Nothing happens for so many episodes that they have to have everything pick up within the last two.
Characters like Tracy Struass, Matt Parkman, and any number of the carnival folk are here just to fill space. The other characters just seem to be rehashing their same old dilemmas once again. I will never understand how after all of this Hiro has not matured even a little bit. Any growth in character in one episode dissolves by the next episode and Sylar going all redemptive doesn't count because he's already done that before. Also we are never given much insight into The Carnival's background, or the background of any of it's characters for that matter.
To critique a few character arcs for this season, I will begin with Matt Parkman. Parkman's arc was really cool before the hiatus. He had Sylar, his most hated enemy trapped inside of his mind and fought to maintain control of his own body and when he couldn't he still foiled Sylar's plans. That whole arc went from goofy to cool a lot and I really enjoyed. After that he seemed content with a normal life and didn't do much of anything after that. Lame. Claire broke from her "I wanna be normal" phase to her "I wanna save everything" phase right on cue just like last time. Thanks for originality Heroes. I also I'm quite positive the show was afraid to explore Claire's relationship with her roommate Gretchen. They just avoided it episode and episode again, until Claire was convinced she should stop being afraid and go for a more serious relationship at the end of an episode. But don't worry that was chucked out the window next episode for her fear of reaching out again. They kissed, we saw it, don't just glaze over it with holding hands. I mean Claire hasn't had a serious relationship since Wes the flying boy from season 2, give the girl a break or make her Sylar's evil wench already, you know he wants it and Claire just might go bad someday. Then there was Lydia from The Carnival, who really didn't fit well at all. Sure she was fine as hell and I cared about her on some level, but I had no idea what was going on with her. One moment she is a loyal squeeze than the head of an uprising. Also, what the hell was her power. First she could show what people needed or were through tattoes on her back, then she could feel it by touch, then she could reach out to people from far away places. Some fucking clarity here Heroes? Tracy Strauss' arc was dropped as soon as possible for reasons unknown, maybe it had to do with Ali Larter's somewhat substantial career. If you can't keep her on the show, than kill her off and if you need her back make up some lame ass excuse like you did with her other character Nikki. Yeah but essentiall Tracy just shows up to help Noah when he's in a particularly big jam. Mohinder shows up for two and a half episodes to burn a film, get pumped full of drugs and then build a compass. I was really confused when Noah Bennet was supplied a backstory before a backstory near the end of the season. I mean, really? Badass agent Noah Bennet got his start as the middle class car dealer/struggling playwright whose pregnant wife is killed by a telekinetic and he wants revenge. That is how he got his start?! I expected more from you Heroes. Hiro Nakamura was not very interesting at all during this season. The only time he was interesting was when he was with the love of his life Charlie, the waitress he went back in time to save. Otherwise, he was still nerdy, childish Hiro. Seriously, after four seasons of peril, loss of family and friends and pain, you would think this overgrown ten year old would act his age. Peter, the only real hero, was never uninteresting. He was always driven and then very disillusioned after the death of his brother and we felt his pain because we cared about Nathan too and didn't want to lose him either. He is full of hate that he and I wanted to dish out on his nemesis Sylar. Sylar, the villain always on a neverending journey of self discovery. Sylar is the only reason this volume of Heroes was titled Redemption. Yes, when the hiatus ended Sylar had already threatened and tormented Matt Parkman, killed innocent bystanders, attempted to massacre Peter and Angela Petrelli, and then destroyed the last inkling that was Nathan Petrelli. When it returned, Sylar, you guessed it, wanted to repent and be a good person. In an earlier episode Hiro went back in time to save his long lost love and told Sylar along the way that he would become extremely powerful in the future but would still die alone and unloved. This made him think a little bit and led him on a path of redemption. I liked where this went, especially when Parkman traps Sylar and then accidentally Peter inside his worst nightmare: a world where he is all alone. In what seems like years in the nightmare, Peter and Sylar work together and eventually Sylar completely repents and Peter lets go of his anger toward the man he once was. I liked that, but still I always imagined Heroes eventually leveling out to Peter and Sylar in a fight to the death. At the season finale, when Sylar states, with utter pride and sureness, "I'm a hero." I believe him. Hope he doesn't just drop this like he did last time he became a hero.
Heroes ends off with Samuel bringing his Carnival to New York. Here he forces Emma, the deaf girl with power of sound, to lure thousands of New Yorkers to Central Park where Samuel plans to run it into the ground as a way to show his power to the world. Most everyone arrives to stop him. Sylar quickly saves Emma and proves himself to be a hero. Claire, Noah, and Samuel's angered henchman Edgar manage to convince The Carnival that Samuel is evil, because seeing him destroy an entire town a few episodes before wasn't proof enough. They all start to leave and seeing as how Samuel needs super powered people around to amp his power he desperately begins to part the ground as they try to get away. Peter shows up however and copies his power so the two can duke it out. Hiro shows up and teleports The Carnival folk away and leave Samuel powerless. But oh, they blindside us at the end. Samuel is arrested, the heroes enjoy a victory, and Noah begins preparing a nice cover up. But then Claire goes into her "tired hiding" phase and reveals to the media her ability and changes everything. This is the start of the next volume of Heroes: Brave New World. A good start if you ask me.
With low ratings and reviews, Heroes may not get another season. But then ABC has a lot of spaces to fill in their line up, so a come back isn't out of the question. The actors certainly think it's possible. I'll still watch it if does return, I just pray it doesn't suffer again like it suffered here.
After watching the last act of our latest season of Heroes I can tell you what my thoughts on it and the show in general is.
Now when we last left off, the new villain Samuel is clearly big trouble, Claire and Tracy have joined him it seems, Hiro was stuck speaking nerd, Sylar gets his body back, Peter loses his brother forever, and not a lot happened to get to that point. Now I must admit, this was a pretty dull season. Season 2 was more entertaining and I didn't really like season 2. Nothing happens for so many episodes that they have to have everything pick up within the last two.
Characters like Tracy Struass, Matt Parkman, and any number of the carnival folk are here just to fill space. The other characters just seem to be rehashing their same old dilemmas once again. I will never understand how after all of this Hiro has not matured even a little bit. Any growth in character in one episode dissolves by the next episode and Sylar going all redemptive doesn't count because he's already done that before. Also we are never given much insight into The Carnival's background, or the background of any of it's characters for that matter.
To critique a few character arcs for this season, I will begin with Matt Parkman. Parkman's arc was really cool before the hiatus. He had Sylar, his most hated enemy trapped inside of his mind and fought to maintain control of his own body and when he couldn't he still foiled Sylar's plans. That whole arc went from goofy to cool a lot and I really enjoyed. After that he seemed content with a normal life and didn't do much of anything after that. Lame. Claire broke from her "I wanna be normal" phase to her "I wanna save everything" phase right on cue just like last time. Thanks for originality Heroes. I also I'm quite positive the show was afraid to explore Claire's relationship with her roommate Gretchen. They just avoided it episode and episode again, until Claire was convinced she should stop being afraid and go for a more serious relationship at the end of an episode. But don't worry that was chucked out the window next episode for her fear of reaching out again. They kissed, we saw it, don't just glaze over it with holding hands. I mean Claire hasn't had a serious relationship since Wes the flying boy from season 2, give the girl a break or make her Sylar's evil wench already, you know he wants it and Claire just might go bad someday. Then there was Lydia from The Carnival, who really didn't fit well at all. Sure she was fine as hell and I cared about her on some level, but I had no idea what was going on with her. One moment she is a loyal squeeze than the head of an uprising. Also, what the hell was her power. First she could show what people needed or were through tattoes on her back, then she could feel it by touch, then she could reach out to people from far away places. Some fucking clarity here Heroes? Tracy Strauss' arc was dropped as soon as possible for reasons unknown, maybe it had to do with Ali Larter's somewhat substantial career. If you can't keep her on the show, than kill her off and if you need her back make up some lame ass excuse like you did with her other character Nikki. Yeah but essentiall Tracy just shows up to help Noah when he's in a particularly big jam. Mohinder shows up for two and a half episodes to burn a film, get pumped full of drugs and then build a compass. I was really confused when Noah Bennet was supplied a backstory before a backstory near the end of the season. I mean, really? Badass agent Noah Bennet got his start as the middle class car dealer/struggling playwright whose pregnant wife is killed by a telekinetic and he wants revenge. That is how he got his start?! I expected more from you Heroes. Hiro Nakamura was not very interesting at all during this season. The only time he was interesting was when he was with the love of his life Charlie, the waitress he went back in time to save. Otherwise, he was still nerdy, childish Hiro. Seriously, after four seasons of peril, loss of family and friends and pain, you would think this overgrown ten year old would act his age. Peter, the only real hero, was never uninteresting. He was always driven and then very disillusioned after the death of his brother and we felt his pain because we cared about Nathan too and didn't want to lose him either. He is full of hate that he and I wanted to dish out on his nemesis Sylar. Sylar, the villain always on a neverending journey of self discovery. Sylar is the only reason this volume of Heroes was titled Redemption. Yes, when the hiatus ended Sylar had already threatened and tormented Matt Parkman, killed innocent bystanders, attempted to massacre Peter and Angela Petrelli, and then destroyed the last inkling that was Nathan Petrelli. When it returned, Sylar, you guessed it, wanted to repent and be a good person. In an earlier episode Hiro went back in time to save his long lost love and told Sylar along the way that he would become extremely powerful in the future but would still die alone and unloved. This made him think a little bit and led him on a path of redemption. I liked where this went, especially when Parkman traps Sylar and then accidentally Peter inside his worst nightmare: a world where he is all alone. In what seems like years in the nightmare, Peter and Sylar work together and eventually Sylar completely repents and Peter lets go of his anger toward the man he once was. I liked that, but still I always imagined Heroes eventually leveling out to Peter and Sylar in a fight to the death. At the season finale, when Sylar states, with utter pride and sureness, "I'm a hero." I believe him. Hope he doesn't just drop this like he did last time he became a hero.
Heroes ends off with Samuel bringing his Carnival to New York. Here he forces Emma, the deaf girl with power of sound, to lure thousands of New Yorkers to Central Park where Samuel plans to run it into the ground as a way to show his power to the world. Most everyone arrives to stop him. Sylar quickly saves Emma and proves himself to be a hero. Claire, Noah, and Samuel's angered henchman Edgar manage to convince The Carnival that Samuel is evil, because seeing him destroy an entire town a few episodes before wasn't proof enough. They all start to leave and seeing as how Samuel needs super powered people around to amp his power he desperately begins to part the ground as they try to get away. Peter shows up however and copies his power so the two can duke it out. Hiro shows up and teleports The Carnival folk away and leave Samuel powerless. But oh, they blindside us at the end. Samuel is arrested, the heroes enjoy a victory, and Noah begins preparing a nice cover up. But then Claire goes into her "tired hiding" phase and reveals to the media her ability and changes everything. This is the start of the next volume of Heroes: Brave New World. A good start if you ask me.
With low ratings and reviews, Heroes may not get another season. But then ABC has a lot of spaces to fill in their line up, so a come back isn't out of the question. The actors certainly think it's possible. I'll still watch it if does return, I just pray it doesn't suffer again like it suffered here.
Monday, February 8, 2010
The Few, The Proud, The Abusive
"You know, a long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays everybody's crazy." - Charles Manson
These days I am very thankful for the internet. Seeing as how I don't have enough initiative to read a newspaper, I go on Youtube. After just watching the latest episode of Sxephil with Phillip Defranco, whom I have watched for at least three years, he spoke of a former military man's own brand of punishment for his child.
Now not all of the facts are known to me, but the few that I have will suffice. What happened was this former soldier's four year-old daughter was practicing her ABCs and couldn't quite get it right. Yeah I struggled on that for awhile myself, I'm sure we all had at that age. But then again my dad never fucking WATERBOARDED me when I got it wrong. That's right, this soldier of our army waterboarded his four year old child for messing up on the alphabet. Joshua Tabor, the deranged soldier and abusive father in question, used the CIA torture method because he was so gosh darned frustrated with his kid and also because he knew she was scared of water. Even more bewildering about this whole thing is that the man gained custody of the girl just weeks earlier. He is currently awaiting trial and is not allowed to see his daughter until further notice. Though personally I hope he never comes near that kid again.
How did he in any way think he was able to take care of this child? How did he in any way think he was a good father? I agree with Defranco about how people these days are just so fucked in the head. I mean, seriously, the people doing reasonable, sensible things pale in comparison to the people doing stupid and insane things. I just don't understand how someone could do something like this. Of course this isn't even on par with the incident a few years ago in which a young man raped his eight day old daughter...I will repeat: raped his eight day old daughter. This is a sick world we live in.
Even stranger is how we can sit back and say with utter conviction that we live in the greatest country on earth. My opinion: there is no such thing. Our waterboarding incident here is no different than the middle eastern girl receiving over ninety lashes for carrying a cell phone, and the incestuous baby rape is just as sick as that twisted Austrian man's imprisoned inbred family. It's just a sick world we're living in. A sick world!
But of course it is not without its beauties. One cannot deny the good things in life. Still the good that we have will always be tainted by the bad. Bad, like using torture as a substitute for punishment of a little girl. That kind of bad. The world is not a terrible place. I would classify it as bittersweet. Hopefully no more of this sick shit happens.
This has been an update on the madness from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
These days I am very thankful for the internet. Seeing as how I don't have enough initiative to read a newspaper, I go on Youtube. After just watching the latest episode of Sxephil with Phillip Defranco, whom I have watched for at least three years, he spoke of a former military man's own brand of punishment for his child.
Now not all of the facts are known to me, but the few that I have will suffice. What happened was this former soldier's four year-old daughter was practicing her ABCs and couldn't quite get it right. Yeah I struggled on that for awhile myself, I'm sure we all had at that age. But then again my dad never fucking WATERBOARDED me when I got it wrong. That's right, this soldier of our army waterboarded his four year old child for messing up on the alphabet. Joshua Tabor, the deranged soldier and abusive father in question, used the CIA torture method because he was so gosh darned frustrated with his kid and also because he knew she was scared of water. Even more bewildering about this whole thing is that the man gained custody of the girl just weeks earlier. He is currently awaiting trial and is not allowed to see his daughter until further notice. Though personally I hope he never comes near that kid again.
How did he in any way think he was able to take care of this child? How did he in any way think he was a good father? I agree with Defranco about how people these days are just so fucked in the head. I mean, seriously, the people doing reasonable, sensible things pale in comparison to the people doing stupid and insane things. I just don't understand how someone could do something like this. Of course this isn't even on par with the incident a few years ago in which a young man raped his eight day old daughter...I will repeat: raped his eight day old daughter. This is a sick world we live in.
Even stranger is how we can sit back and say with utter conviction that we live in the greatest country on earth. My opinion: there is no such thing. Our waterboarding incident here is no different than the middle eastern girl receiving over ninety lashes for carrying a cell phone, and the incestuous baby rape is just as sick as that twisted Austrian man's imprisoned inbred family. It's just a sick world we're living in. A sick world!
But of course it is not without its beauties. One cannot deny the good things in life. Still the good that we have will always be tainted by the bad. Bad, like using torture as a substitute for punishment of a little girl. That kind of bad. The world is not a terrible place. I would classify it as bittersweet. Hopefully no more of this sick shit happens.
This has been an update on the madness from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
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