Okay I've been away for awhile, so I'll have to jump in and talk about some things that seem rather juicy to the American media. No, silly people, it's not what Paris Hilton is sucking or who Perez Hilton is outing. There are just a few little details I have to address.
Probably what everyone is talking about is the apparent Al Queda terrorist bomber, or attempted terrorist bomber. Attempted why? Because of the fascinating explosive he was going to use: a makeshift underwear bomb. Yes, we can now see how much cave life has affected Bin Laden as he is having his men go to measures so extreme that they are fabricating whitie tighties from hell and bringing them through airport security onto planes. I predict that the C-4-undies will soon become a hot item for covert demolition in years to come, or at least they will if no one else tries to detonate it on a plane. I think Phillip Defranco said it best that if the guy is jamming is hands in his pants and fumbling around on an airplane nothing is going to end well one way or another. But the man was caught and the plane and all of its passengers saved. And thank god it turned out that way. But these days, I'm thinking them terrorists have got a special present for America in their pants and it won't be what we think. Tee hee!
For 2009's reenactment of the LA Riots, we have Tehran as the host. Just when you thought we didn't have enough excuses to call Middle Easterners savages with cause to destroy, we have further intolerance over politics to thank for this one. The protests began as such but quickly escalated into a violent outburst when Iranian security forces and protestors began to fight and then the riots broke out. Now these protests have been going on for months, they stemmed from the re-election of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. The Iranian people seem to think that this was all part of another reenactment, except this was of the 2000 election of George W. Bush. Yes they believed the election was rigged in favor of Ahmadinejad and have been protesting for months only for it to recently break out into riots after the death of a spiritual leader put protestors on edge. The resulting riots resulted in what could be 15 to 40 deaths among the protestors and 1500 to 3000 arrests. Hallejuah for the human spirit!
Now on a brighter subject, Rush Limbaugh has been brought to a hospital with a serious case of chest pains. Now I think this could possibly be another case of cardiac arrest, seeing as how it has already killed Michael Jackson and Britney Murphy this year. Or, sadly, it could just be a mild case of chest pains that happened because Limbaugh probably stayed at KFC longer than he should have. Oh I kid, as much as hate that son of a bitch I hope he pulls through. But still, a very dark part of me wants to see him in a vegitative state, sure he will become a martyr and a hero to the conservative masses but I will not have to listen to his fat ass talk shit anymore. Maybe that part of me exists. The same part that also kind of wishes that Glenn Beck would be put in a coma after a car accident. The same part that wishes that Dick Cheney and John McCain's senility and dementia kicks in. The same part that wishes a kinky sex tape of Anne Coulter would surface and ruin her image... moreso. The same part that wishes Bill O'Reilly will get into a fist fight with Keith Olbermann. But do I wish anyone of them dead? No. But I admittedly wish Fred Phelps would die. No I literally want to commit genocide on the entire Westboro Baptist Church. I hate them that much. I just don't like people who clarify how evil they are with every word that comes out of their mouth and are unapologetic. Moreso, I hate people who are truly evil but have convinced themselves that they are righteous and good. Well this was dark wasn't it?
So that's what's happening in the world and if this doesn't tell you something about the world I don't know what will. Well Your Modest Guru can tell you something about the world: it is not perfect or divine or wonderful it is waiting in traffic, it is getting cheated, it is going into labor after months of puking and mood swings, it is playing in the mud on a rainy day, it is smiling at old home movies, it is tears and joy and pain and suffering. Regarding my country, the American Dream isn't about making it big in Hollywood or one's triumphant prosperity after oppression, it's not really even about starting a family and being happy. I think it is about the fight. The fight to make it big in Hollywood. The fight to find prosperity in times of oppression. The fight to start that family and the fight to be happy. The American Dream, the very goal of our species, is to fight to survive because this world is lethal and unforgiving and--Wow where the hell did this sermon come from?! I'm sorry readers it is very late for me and I really must end this post.
This has been my distracted thoughts on recent news from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading and Happy New Year.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Christmas. More like Earthmas
"Remember this December
That love weighs more than gold." - Josephine Dodge Daskam Bacon
Good god the title of this post is stupid. And good god if that the author of that quote doesn't have a long, strange name. I mean it sounds strange even if you abbreviate too: J.D.D. Bacon. Like it was a sausage distribution plant or something. Anywho, today I'll be talking mainly about the religious aspects of Christmas and how they affect the time of year in a few ways.
You know, not a lot of people know this, but Christmas wasn't actually a day envisioned to celebrate joy and good will to humanity all over the world, or to show each other love by giving each other gifts, or just getting together to be happy with our families. Now I know that is all you good people usually do on Christmas, but no. No, in fact Christmas is the day we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. Huh? So Christmas is essentially an international birthday celebration. Isn't that kind of selfish? Well when we are told that Christ is the proclaimed son of god, we really can't talk to much shit about it. Some time around though, people probably there needed to be a little more variety when it came to Christmas. I mean, it is not much fun to join together every year and celebrate the birthday of a guy who was tortured and nailed to a cross because of you and your ancestors. So the grim origins of this day were quickly downplayed by love, joy, family union, bright sparkling trees, snow and a big and jolly man in red dropping presents down your chimneys. Seriously, when you think of Christmas can you really say the first thing you think of is Jesus Christ instead of Santa Claus? I usually think of both of them but that doesn't matter. What matters is that Christmas is bound to religion tightly, or at least to Christianity.
I've been criticized in the past by more religious folks about my celebration of Christmas. There is nothing different about mine at all I do the same thing as everyone else does. They simply think however that seeing as how I am not a Christian or a particularly religious man at all in fact that I should not celebrate Christmas. Others are less strict about it but still hold it's relgious aspect in high regard. For example my born again grandmother gathers us all in prayer every Christmas and says Happy Birthday to Jesus. Literally. Nothing wrong with that, it's just kind of weird. But then so is a fat guy in a red jumpsuit who breaks into your house with something to give to your child every year. Oh but I kid. There really is nothing wrong with the religious origins or the Santa lore. It is kind of ironic though, as the whole Santa Claus concept and everything that comes with it could be considered magic, something Christianity is adamently against. Yet still my Christian friends love themselves some Harry Potter and Twilight. I'm predicting Santa is delivering a large helping of hypocrisy for children this year. The thing is you can swing it any way you please as long as you are happy this time of year. But seriously, it is just hurtful to say that someone shouldn't celebrate Christmas, the ultimate time of love and joy, because he doesn't go to Church.
So we've seen Christmas age and change dramatically over the last millennium. It has gone from being the celebration of the renowned Messiah's birth to being the time of gifts and good will to men to a marketing scam for big shopping centers. Though something still doesn't seem right about the religious aspect. Oh yeah, perhaps I am thinking of the popular prediction that if Christ had indeed existed (which I believe he did) he would have been born somewhere in January but not necessarily in December. So make of that what you will and while you're at it I'll be at home enjoying the company of those I love and opening gifts. Not to sound to much like a dick or to be too, dare I say, immodest.
I would just like everyone to enjoy Christmas. Celebrate you're religion, sure. And you can open presents early in the morning. And you can hang with the people you love all day. When it comes to religion or presents shouldn't matter per se. What matters is being happy. That is my mission this year as well as every year, to be happy. So far I've done well. How about you.
This has been a season's message from Your Modest Guru. Merry Christmas.
That love weighs more than gold." - Josephine Dodge Daskam Bacon
Good god the title of this post is stupid. And good god if that the author of that quote doesn't have a long, strange name. I mean it sounds strange even if you abbreviate too: J.D.D. Bacon. Like it was a sausage distribution plant or something. Anywho, today I'll be talking mainly about the religious aspects of Christmas and how they affect the time of year in a few ways.
You know, not a lot of people know this, but Christmas wasn't actually a day envisioned to celebrate joy and good will to humanity all over the world, or to show each other love by giving each other gifts, or just getting together to be happy with our families. Now I know that is all you good people usually do on Christmas, but no. No, in fact Christmas is the day we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. Huh? So Christmas is essentially an international birthday celebration. Isn't that kind of selfish? Well when we are told that Christ is the proclaimed son of god, we really can't talk to much shit about it. Some time around though, people probably there needed to be a little more variety when it came to Christmas. I mean, it is not much fun to join together every year and celebrate the birthday of a guy who was tortured and nailed to a cross because of you and your ancestors. So the grim origins of this day were quickly downplayed by love, joy, family union, bright sparkling trees, snow and a big and jolly man in red dropping presents down your chimneys. Seriously, when you think of Christmas can you really say the first thing you think of is Jesus Christ instead of Santa Claus? I usually think of both of them but that doesn't matter. What matters is that Christmas is bound to religion tightly, or at least to Christianity.
I've been criticized in the past by more religious folks about my celebration of Christmas. There is nothing different about mine at all I do the same thing as everyone else does. They simply think however that seeing as how I am not a Christian or a particularly religious man at all in fact that I should not celebrate Christmas. Others are less strict about it but still hold it's relgious aspect in high regard. For example my born again grandmother gathers us all in prayer every Christmas and says Happy Birthday to Jesus. Literally. Nothing wrong with that, it's just kind of weird. But then so is a fat guy in a red jumpsuit who breaks into your house with something to give to your child every year. Oh but I kid. There really is nothing wrong with the religious origins or the Santa lore. It is kind of ironic though, as the whole Santa Claus concept and everything that comes with it could be considered magic, something Christianity is adamently against. Yet still my Christian friends love themselves some Harry Potter and Twilight. I'm predicting Santa is delivering a large helping of hypocrisy for children this year. The thing is you can swing it any way you please as long as you are happy this time of year. But seriously, it is just hurtful to say that someone shouldn't celebrate Christmas, the ultimate time of love and joy, because he doesn't go to Church.
So we've seen Christmas age and change dramatically over the last millennium. It has gone from being the celebration of the renowned Messiah's birth to being the time of gifts and good will to men to a marketing scam for big shopping centers. Though something still doesn't seem right about the religious aspect. Oh yeah, perhaps I am thinking of the popular prediction that if Christ had indeed existed (which I believe he did) he would have been born somewhere in January but not necessarily in December. So make of that what you will and while you're at it I'll be at home enjoying the company of those I love and opening gifts. Not to sound to much like a dick or to be too, dare I say, immodest.
I would just like everyone to enjoy Christmas. Celebrate you're religion, sure. And you can open presents early in the morning. And you can hang with the people you love all day. When it comes to religion or presents shouldn't matter per se. What matters is being happy. That is my mission this year as well as every year, to be happy. So far I've done well. How about you.
This has been a season's message from Your Modest Guru. Merry Christmas.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Goodbye Brittney Murphy
Yet another one bites the dust. I was beginning to wonder who was going to be next. You know, which celebrity would be plucked from this flawed little world of ours. It's not to say a celebrity life is anymore important than mine or yours or anyone else's it's just that a lot have been dying this year. You can refer back to my previous "Goodbye..." posts to see some of the notable people.
But now we come to the very young actress Brittney Murphy. Yesterday morning she apparently collapsed, was rushed to the hospital and then died of cardiac arrest. Not enough information? I wouldn't worry the media will dig something up or create some rumour in a while (tabloid bastards). Anyway this caught me really off guard, but then so have the deaths of all of the other recent deaths. I think Murphy moreso however, because of how young she was: 32 years old. People are suspecting drug abuse may have been the cause. I mean cardiac arrest at that age is kind of suspicious. Plus dying during the week of Christmas, jesus that's terrible.
Brittney Murphy has had starring roles in several films I've seen and most of them I have enjoyed her in. Be it her really good performances in the very successful films like 8 Mile and Sin City or her really good performances in not so successful films like Just Married or The Dead Girl. My personal favorite however is Uptown Girls, that movie is just lovely. The first movie I remember seeing her in was probably Don't Say a Word, with a rock solid performance as a mental patient. Of course their have been things in her career I have not liked. Like her voice role as that god awful neice Luanne from King of the Hill, that I can never forgive her for. Then I haven't seen some of her early roles in films like Clueless or Girl, Interrupted. The point is that she was a good actress, not a great actress, but a good one. She reminded me a lot of Julliette Lewis in the roles they chose and their mannerisms: kind of out of it, like they were high or something. I don't know it was kind of funny.
What's strange is a few days ago I was actually wondering why she wasn't in more movies recently because she is a very good actress. Then this happens. As soon as I heard I knew I'd have to make a post because it really depresses me. In closing, I really enjoyed Brittney Murphy over the years and wish she hadn't have gone so soon like many of the others and in this season. May she rest in peace. Now my doors are open for any new names to Hollywood's body count.
This has been another mourning post from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading and Merry Christmas.
But now we come to the very young actress Brittney Murphy. Yesterday morning she apparently collapsed, was rushed to the hospital and then died of cardiac arrest. Not enough information? I wouldn't worry the media will dig something up or create some rumour in a while (tabloid bastards). Anyway this caught me really off guard, but then so have the deaths of all of the other recent deaths. I think Murphy moreso however, because of how young she was: 32 years old. People are suspecting drug abuse may have been the cause. I mean cardiac arrest at that age is kind of suspicious. Plus dying during the week of Christmas, jesus that's terrible.
Brittney Murphy has had starring roles in several films I've seen and most of them I have enjoyed her in. Be it her really good performances in the very successful films like 8 Mile and Sin City or her really good performances in not so successful films like Just Married or The Dead Girl. My personal favorite however is Uptown Girls, that movie is just lovely. The first movie I remember seeing her in was probably Don't Say a Word, with a rock solid performance as a mental patient. Of course their have been things in her career I have not liked. Like her voice role as that god awful neice Luanne from King of the Hill, that I can never forgive her for. Then I haven't seen some of her early roles in films like Clueless or Girl, Interrupted. The point is that she was a good actress, not a great actress, but a good one. She reminded me a lot of Julliette Lewis in the roles they chose and their mannerisms: kind of out of it, like they were high or something. I don't know it was kind of funny.
What's strange is a few days ago I was actually wondering why she wasn't in more movies recently because she is a very good actress. Then this happens. As soon as I heard I knew I'd have to make a post because it really depresses me. In closing, I really enjoyed Brittney Murphy over the years and wish she hadn't have gone so soon like many of the others and in this season. May she rest in peace. Now my doors are open for any new names to Hollywood's body count.
This has been another mourning post from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading and Merry Christmas.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Summing Up Some 2009 Trailers
Now we've got us quite an accumulation of 2009 trailers, some that look like movies we really want to see and some that look like utter stupidity. It's my job tonight to sum them up as I've done before with other things random. Shall we...
BEGIN!!!
GREEN ZONE TRAILER:
Matt Damon as a G-man kicking ass. It's like a step down from The Bourne Trilogy and a major step up from The Good Shepherd. Not super impressive.
LEGION TRAILER:
Wow, watching this trailer I got the feeling like I've already seen this movie of war between angels, except much deeper, and more interesting. Oh yeah it was The Prophecy. This is that with Uzis. The only thing I really see this film has going for it is the casting of Paul Bettany as the hero and Kevin Durand as the villain. Otherwise, skip it.
WOLFMAN TRAILER:
You know the drill with Wolfman, no introductions necessary. But we've got a cast behind this one: Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, Hugo Weaving. Some badasses. It looks very dark and kind of interesting. The only thing bad I can see is the special effects (balls is what it is). Maybe see it, maybe not.
SHERLOCK HOLMES TRAILER:
Okay let me see if I got my math right. Robert Downey, Jr. + Guy Ritchie + a half naked Rachel McAdams/Off putting goofiness = a pretty enjoyable experience. Let's take a look shall we.
KICK-ASS TRAILER:
Come on, a superhero movie where heroes have no powers and get their asses kicked, featuring Nicholas Cage and McLovin from Superbad. Yahuh, I'll have me a look, but maybe not in theatres.
THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS TRAILER:
Odd title. I'm not sure what the hell is supposed to be going on here but, as career mindfucker Terry Gilliam always does, I am left intrigued. I guess a character played by Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell is trying to save some chick and a mystic played by Christopher Plummer from The Devil who looks like Tom Waits. Leading into a bunch of cartoonish dimensions where all sorts of crazyiness happens. This might be one I'll have to watch, then I'll decide whether or not people should see it while tripping acid.
TIM BURTON'S ALICE IN WONDERLAND TRAILER:
Gee, I wonder what happens. Well with Tim Burton I've done well to expect the unexpected and the trailer for his version of Alice in Wonderland is a real sight. Full of colors and admittedly cartoonish CGI. Burton's found another way to make his wife, Helena Bonham Carter, look weird in one of his movies and, indeed, another unfathomable way to make Johnny Depp look unrecognizable. It looks wild, demented, and fun like all of Burton's work. I would definetely see it.
DAYBREAKERS TRAILER:
As cool and interested I am in the movie after how serious the trailer makes the movie appear, I still find the premise silly. I know Anne Rice, a veteren vampire writer, has said that the vampire lore can be changed and with recent developments in Twilight I can't say she's wrong. But here, in a world where the population of vampires outweighs that of humans, it just doesn't feel right. The acting is what I think is gonna save this movie. You can't go wrong with Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe and Sam Neill. You don't mess with Sam Neill. He was Dr. Grant, bitches. Until I've heard reviews, I'm holding out for a rental.
PRINCE OF PERSIA TRAILER:
I played the game once...for like two seconds, but still. Okay can anyone really buy Jake Gyllenhaal as a Persian? He's a great actor I just don't think this is a role for him. Ben Kingsley on the other hand is another story. This British bad ass will play a black man some day. I mean his first movie role was Mahatmah Gandhi. Plus he played a very good Iranian man in House of Sand in Fog. Don't be fooled, people. I am in no way comparing the look of Prince of Persia to the cinema triumphs like Gandhi and House of Sand in Fog. It looks traditional, cheesy, and begs the question as to why these two great actors would be in this kind of movie.
CLASH OF THE TITANS TRAILER:
The remake of that movie I never saw. Clash of the Titans is apparently about a war between Gods, not angels like Legion. Who are the gods played by? Why Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes. Okay what the hell is up with the cast of Schindler's List starring in these shitty looking sword and sandle flicks that look like they borrowed production material from 300. Basically in this trailer Sam Worthington stars as Perseus as he fights giant scropions and the Kraken from Pirates of The Caribbean while grown up Jack from Chronicles of Riddick is hanging by her wrists and Neeson and Fiennes look pissed off the entire time (which I must say is scarier than any giant scropion or Kraken I've ever seen). All in all, this movie looks lame.
A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET TRAILER:
Like a lot of remakes, I think the trailer looks good but more than likely the movie is gonna be shit. The only thing it has going for it is that it has the revitalized powerhouse actor Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy.
SALT TRAILER:
Finally we're giving Angelina Jolie some guns in a movie that doesn't look like total bullshit. She stars as a CIA Agent who goes on the run after being framed as a Russian operative. From the look of the trailer she seems to be the one incriminating herself while also beating up fellow agents and apparently trying to attack the president she was trying to save. Yeah it doesn't make a lot of sense to me either, but Angelina is smokin' and Salt has peaked my interest a little. Wait to hear more.
THE EDGE OF DARKNESS TRAILER:
Mel Gibson is back after a long absence, he is an ex Boston cop, his daughter was gunned down right in front of him, he wants revenge. That's all you need to know right now. It looks every bit as bad ass as Gibson himself. Let's just pray he doesn't kill any Jews in this movie.
BROOKLYN'S FINEST TRAILER:
A movie directed by the guy who directed Training Day and starring some top notch actors as dirty cops and criminals, plus a story that looks very compelling. Oh yeah, this one might have to come my way.
44 INCH CHEST TRAILER:
From the guys who brought us the British crime masterpiece that is Sexy Beast, comes what looks like the British equivalent of Reservoir Dog. Starring Ray Winstone, Tom Wilkinson, John Hurt, Ian McShane, and Stephen Dillane all as British gangsters getting revenge. I'm in all the way. The only thing missing is Sir Ben Kingsley. Come on just cameo him as Don Logan for us Sexy Beast fans.
NINE TRAILER:
Nothing to do with that little CG Animated venture. No, this is a musical starring Daniel Day Lewis and every piece of hot and terrific actresses tossed onto a stage and strutting around in very appealing garments. I'm liking it. Even the musical aspect looks good. This one might not be a theatre film but it is a possible rental.
IT'S COMPLICATED TRAILER:
If this didn't have THE actors of the last generation (well Steve Martin not quite), this movie would look very cliche. Oh wait, no never mind, this movie still looks very cliche.
ROBIN HOOD TRAILER:
Ridley Scott is directing, Russell Crowe is of course starring, and we get clips of some of gritty action only Scott and Crowe could play out. I never thought the story of Robin Hood, which I had always attributed to that cheerful fox from the Disney movie, could be dark. Let's watch a Merry little movie for sure.
WONDERFUL WORLD TRAILER:
It's got Matthew Broderick, he looks magnificent, this might bring back his career and I certainly hope it does. Wonderful World is one I will have to see, though knowning my luck I probably won't see it in theatres.
REMEMBER ME TRAILER:
Wow, this Romeo and Juliet lookalike looks good. I knew there was some charisma to Robert Pattinson. Here he's going all James Dean on everything in sight. Plus Emile De Ravin as his beloved. See, I knew she wouldn't leave Lost for a pointless cameo in Public Enemies. I think this looks like a good match up. And just to make sure this isn't just for youngsters, we've got Pierce Brosnan and Chris Cooper as fathers of the movie's stars. I'm wanting to see it because it doesn't look like total done to death romadies...at least not totally. My only complaint is Pattinson pretty much paraphrases Morgan Freeman's last line in Seven to make himself sound cool.
SHUTTER ISLAND TRAILER:
Scorcese. Lehane. DiCaprio. Kingsley. Sydow. Haley. Island. Nuff said.
IRON MAN 2 TRAILER:
Okay this trailer makes it seem as if it will be every bit as good as the first Iron Man. We bare witness once again to Robert Downey, Jr. as the very smooth Tony Stark aka Iron Man who enjoys his newfound superhero celebrity. Than cut to Mickey Rourke as the villain Whiplash. Sporting bad teeth (well worse than his regular teeth), a Russian accent, and dual whips that would make Christ's torturers say "Yeah buddy, that is a bit much." In short he looks like a tough customer but then so does Iron Man and his new sidekick War Machine, played by Don Cheadle filling in for Terrence Howard. Oh yeah and we get glimpses here and there of Samuel L. Jacson as Nick Fury and Scarlett Johannson as Black Widow (which I do believe is the Marvel role she was born to play: a fiery redhead in black leather). So yeah, this looks like a keeper.
Skipping Avatar trailer because odds are you have seen the trailer a billion times on TV and you know it's gonna be awesome. So here is my second most anticipated movie.
INCEPTION TRAILER:
This trailer defines a teaser. It just gives you enough to catch your interest but not enough to know what's going on. Just from the few images we see, we know it's going to be a super charged sci fi thriller. Probably the most intriguing thing is two guys fighting in a hallway in which gravity does not seem to exist. It has an all star cast list, with Leonardo DiCaprio at the lead. Christopher Nolan is directing so you know it's gonna be awesome. I mean sure he's only directed those tiny unnoticed pictures like Memento, Insomnia, The Prestige, Batman Begins and The Dark Knight: blatant sarcasm, but he has got the skills to really blow us away and from the looks of it Inception might do just that. Still I need more. MORE DAMN YOU!!!
This has been the latest issue of Sum Ups from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
BEGIN!!!
GREEN ZONE TRAILER:
Matt Damon as a G-man kicking ass. It's like a step down from The Bourne Trilogy and a major step up from The Good Shepherd. Not super impressive.
LEGION TRAILER:
Wow, watching this trailer I got the feeling like I've already seen this movie of war between angels, except much deeper, and more interesting. Oh yeah it was The Prophecy. This is that with Uzis. The only thing I really see this film has going for it is the casting of Paul Bettany as the hero and Kevin Durand as the villain. Otherwise, skip it.
WOLFMAN TRAILER:
You know the drill with Wolfman, no introductions necessary. But we've got a cast behind this one: Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, Hugo Weaving. Some badasses. It looks very dark and kind of interesting. The only thing bad I can see is the special effects (balls is what it is). Maybe see it, maybe not.
SHERLOCK HOLMES TRAILER:
Okay let me see if I got my math right. Robert Downey, Jr. + Guy Ritchie + a half naked Rachel McAdams/Off putting goofiness = a pretty enjoyable experience. Let's take a look shall we.
KICK-ASS TRAILER:
Come on, a superhero movie where heroes have no powers and get their asses kicked, featuring Nicholas Cage and McLovin from Superbad. Yahuh, I'll have me a look, but maybe not in theatres.
THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS TRAILER:
Odd title. I'm not sure what the hell is supposed to be going on here but, as career mindfucker Terry Gilliam always does, I am left intrigued. I guess a character played by Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell is trying to save some chick and a mystic played by Christopher Plummer from The Devil who looks like Tom Waits. Leading into a bunch of cartoonish dimensions where all sorts of crazyiness happens. This might be one I'll have to watch, then I'll decide whether or not people should see it while tripping acid.
TIM BURTON'S ALICE IN WONDERLAND TRAILER:
Gee, I wonder what happens. Well with Tim Burton I've done well to expect the unexpected and the trailer for his version of Alice in Wonderland is a real sight. Full of colors and admittedly cartoonish CGI. Burton's found another way to make his wife, Helena Bonham Carter, look weird in one of his movies and, indeed, another unfathomable way to make Johnny Depp look unrecognizable. It looks wild, demented, and fun like all of Burton's work. I would definetely see it.
DAYBREAKERS TRAILER:
As cool and interested I am in the movie after how serious the trailer makes the movie appear, I still find the premise silly. I know Anne Rice, a veteren vampire writer, has said that the vampire lore can be changed and with recent developments in Twilight I can't say she's wrong. But here, in a world where the population of vampires outweighs that of humans, it just doesn't feel right. The acting is what I think is gonna save this movie. You can't go wrong with Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe and Sam Neill. You don't mess with Sam Neill. He was Dr. Grant, bitches. Until I've heard reviews, I'm holding out for a rental.
PRINCE OF PERSIA TRAILER:
I played the game once...for like two seconds, but still. Okay can anyone really buy Jake Gyllenhaal as a Persian? He's a great actor I just don't think this is a role for him. Ben Kingsley on the other hand is another story. This British bad ass will play a black man some day. I mean his first movie role was Mahatmah Gandhi. Plus he played a very good Iranian man in House of Sand in Fog. Don't be fooled, people. I am in no way comparing the look of Prince of Persia to the cinema triumphs like Gandhi and House of Sand in Fog. It looks traditional, cheesy, and begs the question as to why these two great actors would be in this kind of movie.
CLASH OF THE TITANS TRAILER:
The remake of that movie I never saw. Clash of the Titans is apparently about a war between Gods, not angels like Legion. Who are the gods played by? Why Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes. Okay what the hell is up with the cast of Schindler's List starring in these shitty looking sword and sandle flicks that look like they borrowed production material from 300. Basically in this trailer Sam Worthington stars as Perseus as he fights giant scropions and the Kraken from Pirates of The Caribbean while grown up Jack from Chronicles of Riddick is hanging by her wrists and Neeson and Fiennes look pissed off the entire time (which I must say is scarier than any giant scropion or Kraken I've ever seen). All in all, this movie looks lame.
A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET TRAILER:
Like a lot of remakes, I think the trailer looks good but more than likely the movie is gonna be shit. The only thing it has going for it is that it has the revitalized powerhouse actor Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy.
SALT TRAILER:
Finally we're giving Angelina Jolie some guns in a movie that doesn't look like total bullshit. She stars as a CIA Agent who goes on the run after being framed as a Russian operative. From the look of the trailer she seems to be the one incriminating herself while also beating up fellow agents and apparently trying to attack the president she was trying to save. Yeah it doesn't make a lot of sense to me either, but Angelina is smokin' and Salt has peaked my interest a little. Wait to hear more.
THE EDGE OF DARKNESS TRAILER:
Mel Gibson is back after a long absence, he is an ex Boston cop, his daughter was gunned down right in front of him, he wants revenge. That's all you need to know right now. It looks every bit as bad ass as Gibson himself. Let's just pray he doesn't kill any Jews in this movie.
BROOKLYN'S FINEST TRAILER:
A movie directed by the guy who directed Training Day and starring some top notch actors as dirty cops and criminals, plus a story that looks very compelling. Oh yeah, this one might have to come my way.
44 INCH CHEST TRAILER:
From the guys who brought us the British crime masterpiece that is Sexy Beast, comes what looks like the British equivalent of Reservoir Dog. Starring Ray Winstone, Tom Wilkinson, John Hurt, Ian McShane, and Stephen Dillane all as British gangsters getting revenge. I'm in all the way. The only thing missing is Sir Ben Kingsley. Come on just cameo him as Don Logan for us Sexy Beast fans.
NINE TRAILER:
Nothing to do with that little CG Animated venture. No, this is a musical starring Daniel Day Lewis and every piece of hot and terrific actresses tossed onto a stage and strutting around in very appealing garments. I'm liking it. Even the musical aspect looks good. This one might not be a theatre film but it is a possible rental.
IT'S COMPLICATED TRAILER:
If this didn't have THE actors of the last generation (well Steve Martin not quite), this movie would look very cliche. Oh wait, no never mind, this movie still looks very cliche.
ROBIN HOOD TRAILER:
Ridley Scott is directing, Russell Crowe is of course starring, and we get clips of some of gritty action only Scott and Crowe could play out. I never thought the story of Robin Hood, which I had always attributed to that cheerful fox from the Disney movie, could be dark. Let's watch a Merry little movie for sure.
WONDERFUL WORLD TRAILER:
It's got Matthew Broderick, he looks magnificent, this might bring back his career and I certainly hope it does. Wonderful World is one I will have to see, though knowning my luck I probably won't see it in theatres.
REMEMBER ME TRAILER:
Wow, this Romeo and Juliet lookalike looks good. I knew there was some charisma to Robert Pattinson. Here he's going all James Dean on everything in sight. Plus Emile De Ravin as his beloved. See, I knew she wouldn't leave Lost for a pointless cameo in Public Enemies. I think this looks like a good match up. And just to make sure this isn't just for youngsters, we've got Pierce Brosnan and Chris Cooper as fathers of the movie's stars. I'm wanting to see it because it doesn't look like total done to death romadies...at least not totally. My only complaint is Pattinson pretty much paraphrases Morgan Freeman's last line in Seven to make himself sound cool.
SHUTTER ISLAND TRAILER:
Scorcese. Lehane. DiCaprio. Kingsley. Sydow. Haley. Island. Nuff said.
IRON MAN 2 TRAILER:
Okay this trailer makes it seem as if it will be every bit as good as the first Iron Man. We bare witness once again to Robert Downey, Jr. as the very smooth Tony Stark aka Iron Man who enjoys his newfound superhero celebrity. Than cut to Mickey Rourke as the villain Whiplash. Sporting bad teeth (well worse than his regular teeth), a Russian accent, and dual whips that would make Christ's torturers say "Yeah buddy, that is a bit much." In short he looks like a tough customer but then so does Iron Man and his new sidekick War Machine, played by Don Cheadle filling in for Terrence Howard. Oh yeah and we get glimpses here and there of Samuel L. Jacson as Nick Fury and Scarlett Johannson as Black Widow (which I do believe is the Marvel role she was born to play: a fiery redhead in black leather). So yeah, this looks like a keeper.
Skipping Avatar trailer because odds are you have seen the trailer a billion times on TV and you know it's gonna be awesome. So here is my second most anticipated movie.
INCEPTION TRAILER:
This trailer defines a teaser. It just gives you enough to catch your interest but not enough to know what's going on. Just from the few images we see, we know it's going to be a super charged sci fi thriller. Probably the most intriguing thing is two guys fighting in a hallway in which gravity does not seem to exist. It has an all star cast list, with Leonardo DiCaprio at the lead. Christopher Nolan is directing so you know it's gonna be awesome. I mean sure he's only directed those tiny unnoticed pictures like Memento, Insomnia, The Prestige, Batman Begins and The Dark Knight: blatant sarcasm, but he has got the skills to really blow us away and from the looks of it Inception might do just that. Still I need more. MORE DAMN YOU!!!
This has been the latest issue of Sum Ups from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire Tribute.
"Ho, ho, d'oh!" - Homer Simpson
The Simpsons. Undoubtedly one of the greatest animated shows ever introduced to television. I love the hell out of it and keep watching even today. Of course The Simpsons came before my time and in it's early years it was the funniest. With Christmas just a few steps away, I would like to take refer back to the first official episode of The Simpsons: "The Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire" which premiered in 1989 originally. Now this is not the first time people witnessed The Simpsons, for The Simpsons, created by cartoonist Matt Groening, had an animated sketch on The Tracy Ullman show before they gained worldwide popularity of even a series. But a series did kick in and with it the popularity. So with that let's jump into why this episode is so great.
I always found it a bit ironic that the very first episode of the series was a Christmas episode, but really Christmas is the best time to show the colors of the family, at least how they were originally. In numerous ways, The Simpsons is an hyper realistic version of an actual American family. They are not wealthy by any means, the father works a low paying job, the mother is a sweet homemaker, the daughter is intelligent, the son is a troublemaker, and the baby is...well, a baby. They face the problems that come with parenthood, childhood, social issues, and the American economy but they do it all in very humorous ways. The first episode in oh so many ways symbolizes that premise to the show. It's satirical, hilarious, realistic, and heartwarming.
It all takes place around Christmas time and amidst all of the lists, organization, straing and tragedies that come with the holiday, everything that could possibly go wrong does. At first Homer doesn't really worry about the fact that his evil boss Mr. Burns takes away the Christmas bonuses to all of the employees because Marge has kept a savings. Things take a turn for the worse however when she has to spend the savings to remove a tattoe Bart got. This leaves Homer in a bind to work an extra job to afford money for Christmas. He struggles but it is never enough. In the end he does not have the money to buy the family what they had originally wanted, but an opportunity arises for him to bring home one present and that really makes all of the difference as it was the best present they would ever want but didn't think of. It is really touching.
Funny how a show can capture so many real life moments and put them all into a single episode, not to mention the first episode and an animated one at that. It's funny, charming, and honest. A perfect episode to start a twenty year long series. Love The Simpsons.
This has been a look back at a TV legend with Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
The Simpsons. Undoubtedly one of the greatest animated shows ever introduced to television. I love the hell out of it and keep watching even today. Of course The Simpsons came before my time and in it's early years it was the funniest. With Christmas just a few steps away, I would like to take refer back to the first official episode of The Simpsons: "The Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire" which premiered in 1989 originally. Now this is not the first time people witnessed The Simpsons, for The Simpsons, created by cartoonist Matt Groening, had an animated sketch on The Tracy Ullman show before they gained worldwide popularity of even a series. But a series did kick in and with it the popularity. So with that let's jump into why this episode is so great.
I always found it a bit ironic that the very first episode of the series was a Christmas episode, but really Christmas is the best time to show the colors of the family, at least how they were originally. In numerous ways, The Simpsons is an hyper realistic version of an actual American family. They are not wealthy by any means, the father works a low paying job, the mother is a sweet homemaker, the daughter is intelligent, the son is a troublemaker, and the baby is...well, a baby. They face the problems that come with parenthood, childhood, social issues, and the American economy but they do it all in very humorous ways. The first episode in oh so many ways symbolizes that premise to the show. It's satirical, hilarious, realistic, and heartwarming.
It all takes place around Christmas time and amidst all of the lists, organization, straing and tragedies that come with the holiday, everything that could possibly go wrong does. At first Homer doesn't really worry about the fact that his evil boss Mr. Burns takes away the Christmas bonuses to all of the employees because Marge has kept a savings. Things take a turn for the worse however when she has to spend the savings to remove a tattoe Bart got. This leaves Homer in a bind to work an extra job to afford money for Christmas. He struggles but it is never enough. In the end he does not have the money to buy the family what they had originally wanted, but an opportunity arises for him to bring home one present and that really makes all of the difference as it was the best present they would ever want but didn't think of. It is really touching.
Funny how a show can capture so many real life moments and put them all into a single episode, not to mention the first episode and an animated one at that. It's funny, charming, and honest. A perfect episode to start a twenty year long series. Love The Simpsons.
This has been a look back at a TV legend with Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Modest PSA # 4: Southland Tales
DISCLAIMER: THIS PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT IS NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR...
You know what, fuck it. I'm sorry, I can't get into the Modest PSA zone. I can't get into character. This movie pisses me off so much. It would just be stupid for me to say it is not meant to be taken seriously. It's totally meant to be taken seriously. Here we go. Southland Tales.
For those of you fortunate enough not to know, Southland Tales is the second film by director Richard Kelly, the creator of one of my favorite films Donnie Darko. Now Donnie Darko is a sweet movie. I don't mean cute and cuddly sweet, but BADASS sweet. It's a damn cult classic and belongs in my library of films new and old. When I heard the whiz kid filmmaker who created that monster was going to be making another film. A film made with bigger actors and on a wider scale of epicness so it was told. A film that mixed together political and religious satire with some existential thoughts and threw at the audience in a web of comedic cinema. Well needless to say I was pumped and excited. Then I saw it.
I was disappointed at first. I wasn't angry like I am now and forever will be, but I was let down. Where to begin: everyone involved with the film should forever be embarrassed. It's a stain on everyone's reputation and the beginning of The Rock's downward slope in movies and he was doing so damn good. He isn't The Rock anymore. He's Dwayne Johnson starring in bad Disney movies. You'd think a movie with an ensemble cast: (featuring just about every modern or former SNL castmember, Sean William Scott, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Kevin Smith, Mandy Moore, Justin Timberlake, Holmes Osbourne, that psychic chick from Poltergeist, Mr. Inconceivable from Princess Bride, Bai Ling, and the bad guy from Richie Rich...Okay fine there aren't that many famous people in this movie!!! Or at least no one to write to home about). Let's just say no actor is good in this movie, besides Holmes Osbourne (because his character is just as confused as the audience), and leave at that. The story is just all over place, doesn't make any sense, especially when handing out explanations. There's something about time travel, and then the story bears a striking resemblence to a script The Rock and Gellar wrote, subplot after subplot all of which go nowhere, some kind of Apocalypse happening at the same time of a revolution, all to the tone of really cliche post 9/11 bullshit or some new American disaster. Makes no fuckin sense. I guess if you want to look at production value like the sets and special effects I suppose this could be pretty good but you just don't care as story and performance are what mainly hold any movie up at all. Richard Kelly, who showed a lot promise in his ability to direct actors in his previous film, cannot direct a single one in Southland Tales. It leads me to think, as I've said in my Netflix review of the film, that Kelly must have been shot in the head to make a movie this devoid of reason or logic or emotion when his last film had a wealth of all three.
To make matters worse, Southland Tales has a cult following. It's like those really bad movies that people somehow just can't help but respond to. It's like how Napoleon Dynamite is to me and other people.
Everything that could be wrong with a movie is here. Southland Tales is just something a filmmaker who shows as much skill as Richard Kelly cannot live down. You can make any Richard Matheson adaptation you want but it won't make me forget. Southland Tales, what a horrible movie. Even if you manage to figure out what it all really means in the end, it'll just make even less sense. Don't even look at this movie's cover. Watching it may cause you to cover your ears and rock in a corner for several hours, have delayed schizophrenic outbursts, or random self mutilations. Or maybe it'll just leave a bad taste of your mouth and make you beg for the two and half hours of your life you spent watching it. You don't watch a movie like Southland Tales, you survive it.
So now you and knowing is half the battle. And Your Modest Guru recommends you take care of the rest. Thanks for reading. Jesus...
You know what, fuck it. I'm sorry, I can't get into the Modest PSA zone. I can't get into character. This movie pisses me off so much. It would just be stupid for me to say it is not meant to be taken seriously. It's totally meant to be taken seriously. Here we go. Southland Tales.
For those of you fortunate enough not to know, Southland Tales is the second film by director Richard Kelly, the creator of one of my favorite films Donnie Darko. Now Donnie Darko is a sweet movie. I don't mean cute and cuddly sweet, but BADASS sweet. It's a damn cult classic and belongs in my library of films new and old. When I heard the whiz kid filmmaker who created that monster was going to be making another film. A film made with bigger actors and on a wider scale of epicness so it was told. A film that mixed together political and religious satire with some existential thoughts and threw at the audience in a web of comedic cinema. Well needless to say I was pumped and excited. Then I saw it.
I was disappointed at first. I wasn't angry like I am now and forever will be, but I was let down. Where to begin: everyone involved with the film should forever be embarrassed. It's a stain on everyone's reputation and the beginning of The Rock's downward slope in movies and he was doing so damn good. He isn't The Rock anymore. He's Dwayne Johnson starring in bad Disney movies. You'd think a movie with an ensemble cast: (featuring just about every modern or former SNL castmember, Sean William Scott, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Kevin Smith, Mandy Moore, Justin Timberlake, Holmes Osbourne, that psychic chick from Poltergeist, Mr. Inconceivable from Princess Bride, Bai Ling, and the bad guy from Richie Rich...Okay fine there aren't that many famous people in this movie!!! Or at least no one to write to home about). Let's just say no actor is good in this movie, besides Holmes Osbourne (because his character is just as confused as the audience), and leave at that. The story is just all over place, doesn't make any sense, especially when handing out explanations. There's something about time travel, and then the story bears a striking resemblence to a script The Rock and Gellar wrote, subplot after subplot all of which go nowhere, some kind of Apocalypse happening at the same time of a revolution, all to the tone of really cliche post 9/11 bullshit or some new American disaster. Makes no fuckin sense. I guess if you want to look at production value like the sets and special effects I suppose this could be pretty good but you just don't care as story and performance are what mainly hold any movie up at all. Richard Kelly, who showed a lot promise in his ability to direct actors in his previous film, cannot direct a single one in Southland Tales. It leads me to think, as I've said in my Netflix review of the film, that Kelly must have been shot in the head to make a movie this devoid of reason or logic or emotion when his last film had a wealth of all three.
To make matters worse, Southland Tales has a cult following. It's like those really bad movies that people somehow just can't help but respond to. It's like how Napoleon Dynamite is to me and other people.
Everything that could be wrong with a movie is here. Southland Tales is just something a filmmaker who shows as much skill as Richard Kelly cannot live down. You can make any Richard Matheson adaptation you want but it won't make me forget. Southland Tales, what a horrible movie. Even if you manage to figure out what it all really means in the end, it'll just make even less sense. Don't even look at this movie's cover. Watching it may cause you to cover your ears and rock in a corner for several hours, have delayed schizophrenic outbursts, or random self mutilations. Or maybe it'll just leave a bad taste of your mouth and make you beg for the two and half hours of your life you spent watching it. You don't watch a movie like Southland Tales, you survive it.
So now you and knowing is half the battle. And Your Modest Guru recommends you take care of the rest. Thanks for reading. Jesus...
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Prototype Review
"They call me a murderer. A terrorist. A monster. I am all of these things." - Alex Mercer
Okay so recently I've finished the sci fi action video game Prototype. Did I like it? Yes. Would you? Well let's find out. Prototype is a free roaming, third person action adventure that includes a gritty and complex story, intriguing gameplay mechanics, some very well detailed graphics, and new and amazing ways to blow stuff up. Now if that doesn't interest you then so be it. If it does then keep reading.
I love high octane and frenzied gameplay when it comes to video games. If it involves action and a lot of movement that any epileptic would shake to, plus a story I can at least care about, then that's all I really need.
STORY:
This is a rather basic sci fi action plot. A deadly virus is released in the heart of Manhatten. The government has sealed off the whole island and will kill anyone who tries to leave. In a lab two scientists are shocked to find a man believed to be dead turns up alive and heavily mutated. He is Alex Mercer, apparently a former government scientist. He now has amnesia and is hunted by the military. He has a mission now: find out who he really is, how to stop the virus and the government, and kill anyone who gets in his way. And so there you have it.
BASICS:
A lot of games include very complex gameplay patterns that annoy some, but here you get the hang of things pretty quick. Your character has a high variety of moves and skills that can take down most any enemy. Prototype's gameplay is very reminiscent to the gameplay of Spiderman 2 for PS2 or consoles like PS2, except the environment is a bit better detailed and far more destructive. Most anything can be destroyed so, as with games such as Grand Theft Auto, innocents are very fragile and killing them may be nearly inevitable. With a movement system classified as parkour, you can run up, jump off, slide along, hurl yourself into or keep a pace on just about anything.
TOOLS:
Your character can be simply called superpowered. He has superhuman strength, speed, agility, etc. He also has the power of shapeshifting, but you can only morph into one person at a time. Also, a person must be consumed, this gets you their identity, their health and more importantly their memories. Your character is stricken with amnesia, and in certain cases when consuming a person, you may absorb helpful memories. I would recommend you shapeshift a lot because your character looks like a douche (a hoody under leather jacket, tight light blue jeans). Oh yeah, your shapeshifting ability also gains access to a variety of weapons that are apart of your body. These weapons include clawed hands, a deadly whiplash, massive and destructive fists, and a large jagged claw which replaces an arm. Head to toe Spawn-like body armor will show up later, which is pretty cool. You also have a glide ability that comes in handy when a distance is too large to jump across. The city is full of military personnel, so you can take a variety of weapons off of those you kill. This includes assualt rifles, bazookas, tanks, helicopters. Your character also has a wide range of fighting abilities that can take down almost any obstacle in the game. Combination moves work well in hand to hand, melee, or armed combat.
ENEMIES:
There are plenty of enemies, and they are mostly weak compared to you, but enough of them can kill you easily. The city is mutating on an increasing level. Humans are slowly turning into zombie like characters who attack the helpless, but like all zombies they are pretty easy to take out. More modified mutants are around and will be very hard to take down in groups. Military will be your first problem. They are everywhere and always watching. The first sign of abilities and sometimes even your face will alert them and they will attack with all they've got. Killing them may help but usually there's so many it'd probably just be best to run away and morph into someone else. I wouldn't recommend trying to leave the island either, if you do an air strike will rain down on your head. You will face the occasional boss every now and then and they can be very difficult. There might be a specific tough mutant or G-man that must be faced. One mutant in particular is Elizabeth Green, a powerful creature very reminiscent to your own character. The last boss I can't really reveal as it is something of a surprise.
GRAPHICS:
The game looks very good. Graphics could always be better but I like this. Almost every inch is of the city is done with care. NPCs are given a few models and then just copied to make crowds but most games are like that. I can't find any real problems with it.
OVERALL:
I think Prototype is a very enjoyable game. If it had just been a simple story mode game then over I probably wouldn't be as enthusiastic. But a free roam game you are allowed to go about the city and get into trouble even after the game ends. Gameplay is frenetic and fun. If a game involves fighting the fight should be exciting. Graphics are good and I am pleased with it. Prototype may not give you exactly what you want in story but it makes up for that with every other aspect. If it is not the game you prefer then so be it. If it is then buy it definetly.
This has been a detailed game review from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
Okay so recently I've finished the sci fi action video game Prototype. Did I like it? Yes. Would you? Well let's find out. Prototype is a free roaming, third person action adventure that includes a gritty and complex story, intriguing gameplay mechanics, some very well detailed graphics, and new and amazing ways to blow stuff up. Now if that doesn't interest you then so be it. If it does then keep reading.
I love high octane and frenzied gameplay when it comes to video games. If it involves action and a lot of movement that any epileptic would shake to, plus a story I can at least care about, then that's all I really need.
STORY:
This is a rather basic sci fi action plot. A deadly virus is released in the heart of Manhatten. The government has sealed off the whole island and will kill anyone who tries to leave. In a lab two scientists are shocked to find a man believed to be dead turns up alive and heavily mutated. He is Alex Mercer, apparently a former government scientist. He now has amnesia and is hunted by the military. He has a mission now: find out who he really is, how to stop the virus and the government, and kill anyone who gets in his way. And so there you have it.
BASICS:
A lot of games include very complex gameplay patterns that annoy some, but here you get the hang of things pretty quick. Your character has a high variety of moves and skills that can take down most any enemy. Prototype's gameplay is very reminiscent to the gameplay of Spiderman 2 for PS2 or consoles like PS2, except the environment is a bit better detailed and far more destructive. Most anything can be destroyed so, as with games such as Grand Theft Auto, innocents are very fragile and killing them may be nearly inevitable. With a movement system classified as parkour, you can run up, jump off, slide along, hurl yourself into or keep a pace on just about anything.
TOOLS:
Your character can be simply called superpowered. He has superhuman strength, speed, agility, etc. He also has the power of shapeshifting, but you can only morph into one person at a time. Also, a person must be consumed, this gets you their identity, their health and more importantly their memories. Your character is stricken with amnesia, and in certain cases when consuming a person, you may absorb helpful memories. I would recommend you shapeshift a lot because your character looks like a douche (a hoody under leather jacket, tight light blue jeans). Oh yeah, your shapeshifting ability also gains access to a variety of weapons that are apart of your body. These weapons include clawed hands, a deadly whiplash, massive and destructive fists, and a large jagged claw which replaces an arm. Head to toe Spawn-like body armor will show up later, which is pretty cool. You also have a glide ability that comes in handy when a distance is too large to jump across. The city is full of military personnel, so you can take a variety of weapons off of those you kill. This includes assualt rifles, bazookas, tanks, helicopters. Your character also has a wide range of fighting abilities that can take down almost any obstacle in the game. Combination moves work well in hand to hand, melee, or armed combat.
ENEMIES:
There are plenty of enemies, and they are mostly weak compared to you, but enough of them can kill you easily. The city is mutating on an increasing level. Humans are slowly turning into zombie like characters who attack the helpless, but like all zombies they are pretty easy to take out. More modified mutants are around and will be very hard to take down in groups. Military will be your first problem. They are everywhere and always watching. The first sign of abilities and sometimes even your face will alert them and they will attack with all they've got. Killing them may help but usually there's so many it'd probably just be best to run away and morph into someone else. I wouldn't recommend trying to leave the island either, if you do an air strike will rain down on your head. You will face the occasional boss every now and then and they can be very difficult. There might be a specific tough mutant or G-man that must be faced. One mutant in particular is Elizabeth Green, a powerful creature very reminiscent to your own character. The last boss I can't really reveal as it is something of a surprise.
GRAPHICS:
The game looks very good. Graphics could always be better but I like this. Almost every inch is of the city is done with care. NPCs are given a few models and then just copied to make crowds but most games are like that. I can't find any real problems with it.
OVERALL:
I think Prototype is a very enjoyable game. If it had just been a simple story mode game then over I probably wouldn't be as enthusiastic. But a free roam game you are allowed to go about the city and get into trouble even after the game ends. Gameplay is frenetic and fun. If a game involves fighting the fight should be exciting. Graphics are good and I am pleased with it. Prototype may not give you exactly what you want in story but it makes up for that with every other aspect. If it is not the game you prefer then so be it. If it is then buy it definetly.
This has been a detailed game review from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Heroes: Redemption Part 1
"I say it's time we found our way home again." - Samuel Sullivan
Anyone who may watch Heroes someday I will just let you know:
SPOILER WARNING!!!
Okay I love Heroes and a little lag in the storyline doesn't sway me from the show at all. Now the main premise of the entire series is that ordinary people begin to discover that they are developing superhuman abilities at certain points in their lives within a realistic but nevertheless somewhat hyper-real world. I know that sounds familiar...CoughX-MenCough! But this is the kind of show I've craved for. A show about superheroes and villains in the real world. Or as real as the world can be with superheroes and villains.
You've got a bagillion characters with powers: Hiro Nakamura, a nerdy Japanese cubicle worker who discovers he can control time and space (albiet badly). Peter Petrelli, a hospice nurse who discovers he can mimic other people's powers. Nathan Petrelli, Peter's politician brother who can fly. Claire Bennet, a confused ex cheerleader who is indestructable. Claire's father Noah Bennet, a former detainer of all things superpowered. Matt Parkman, a police officer who can read minds and control thoughts. Mohinder Suresh, a scientist whose quest to help people with abilities lead to his own abilities of super strength and agility. And recently Tracy Struass, an ex political advisor who can control ice and water while also being the long lost twin sister of a better character who got killed off awhile ago. The primary villain is Sylar, a former outcast watchmaker turned serial killer and stealer of powers. I like almost every one of them. My favorites usually vary with the choices they make of course.
MAJOR SPOILER, LIKE DO NOT READ
To briefly recap last season's ending: Sylar once again rises once all of the other current villains are dead or incapacitated and seeks to kill and assume the identity of the President. Peter and Nathan Petrelli finally put aside their differences and fight Sylar themselves. In the end Peter manages to take Sylar down, but Nathan is killed in the battle unbeknownst to his brother and most of the cast. Nathan's mother Angela, conniving matriarch of the Petrelli family, and Noah Bennet convince Matt Parkman to remove Sylar's personality from his body and replace it with Nathan's, successfully bringing him back without anyone knowing what happened to him. A dead shapeshifter who appears to be Sylar is cremated, convincing everyone that the villain is dead for good.
So now starting off with our new volume, called Redemption I guess because the word was mentioned in the opening speech, we are introduced to a helluva lot of new characters. Most importantly I guess is the villain Samuel Sullivan, played by Robert Knepper from Prison Break fame. Samuel is the shady new leader of The Carnival, a sanctuary of sorts for people with abilities. New leader because his brother Joseph has just died. Significant members of The Carnival include Lydia, a woman who can tell the future through tattoes or something like that (I'm not really sure), and Edgar, a knife wielding lackey with super speed. There is also a deaf woman named Emma Coolidge who works in the same hospital as Peter. Emma can see sound in bright and fantastical colors and discovers that she may be able to channel sound energy into a form of attack. Another character is Claire's college roommate Gretchen, played by Madeline Zima who I know as the little girl from The Nanny. Two female child actors all grown up who are no longer cute so much as they are hot and acting side by side as roommates in a modern TV show, it's almost inevitable that there would be some kind of romance between them. Well a romance in the works is implied, if it is not than a good kiss and exposition went to waste. Then there is Lauren, a former partner and near flame of Noah's from his days with The Company who provides a possible love interest. Oh yeah, Noah and his wife have divorced. In other news, Nathan is beginning to uncover the truth that he is different now, having no idea he is living inside Sylar's body. Sylar on the other hand is of course still alive and dwelling inside Matt Parkman's head, threatening his attempts at a normal life. Tracy Strauss is contributing nothing but drama. Claire Bennet is playing the same tune of wanting to be either normal or accepted while attending college. Playful Hiro is still dying and screwing at righting the wrongs of the past. Noah is again trying to sink into a normal life.
The events that have taken place so far don't feel like an advancing story as much as filler until something better happens. No one has done too much yet. Samuel seems to have been spouting the same speech within every new episode, not even Knepper's good acting helps there. Hiro goes from his childish dreams of being a comic book super hero despite his terminal illness, but then ends up in a repetitive state of demanding Charlie's location, his true love whom he saved with help from past Sylar but who is then taken away by Samuel as leverage. Tracy Strauss does pretty much what she did last season which was complain about her power. Claire complains about fitting in AGAIN. Her father does little to help AGAIN. The only thing interesting going on is scenarios involving the duos of Parkman and Sylar and Peter and Nathan. Parkman is losing control of the monster trapped in his head. Meanwhile Nathan loses touch with himself slowly as Peter struggles to make time for him amidst his life of saving people. Ah Peter Petrelli, the only figured out character who has always wanted and does use his powers to do superheroic things. That is a main criticism I've seen among those who give Heroes negative reviews: you'd think with so many superpowered characters a few of them would actually do interesting things with their powers.
Before the break we are left with a bit to take in. Samuel turns out to be the one who killed his brother for standing in the way of his true potential. He frames Edgar for his brother's murder, leaving Edgar to form an alliance with Hiro before fleeing. Hiro meanwhile disappears to "rescue Watson" after one of Samuel's carnival friends does something to his mind. Mysterious! Hiro has placed Mohinder in a mental hospital to keep him from screwing up things with Samuel. Claire and Tracy join Samuel, believing him to be the one person who understands their plight. Parkman returns to his wife for the time being after Sylar gets back into his own body. Sylar finds trouble however when Nathan's mind quarrels with his own. This leads to a pretty cool showdown between Sylar and a well prepared Peter, who precedes to defeat Sylar, disable his powers, torture him, and repress his mind for a bit. Nathan, tired of fighting, gives up his last bit of life. Peter is left distraught while Sylar walks away fully in control. All in all Redemption isn't perfect but it is pretty entertaining so far. It feels a little too much like Season 2 where nothing really happens and the plot isn't advancing much.
As far as performances go, the show delivers as always. As with Season 3, the top actors here are Adrian Pasdar and Zachary Quinto, who portray Nathan and Sylar. Pasdar brings out much despair and emptiness once again in Nathan, a character I at first disliked but one who grew on me. Quinto shines as Sylar in his everchanging personalties. For the most part he is the psychopathic true Sylar who enjoys nothing more than gaining power and causing suffering. This may actually be his best work as the killer, without going over the top as he sometimes does. The other Sylar is the frightened amnesiac (this was excellant work). Milo Ventimiglia finally had his big emotional moment as Peter in Nathan's death scene. It is good stuff. Anyone else I could commend would be Robert Knepper as Samuel. Maybe he just puts a lot of energy and feeling and method into the role that he just intrigues me for some reason. He has the makings of a truly destructive villain, I hope Samuel goes further than just one time main enemies that are easily overcome like Daniel Linderman, Arthur Petrelli and Adam Monroe. Also Mark L. Young, who played a tragic character for a few episodes, a teenager who couldn't control his powers. He was perfect in his few episodes.
So yeah, Redemption has not really impressed me as much as it has left me wanting the really good part of the story that will hopefully surface after the break. I will wait eagerly until that time. I just hope that they don't drop the ball totally because despite it's lag I think it might be shaping to be something real cool.
This has been a long ass fan frenzied post regarding Heroes from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
Anyone who may watch Heroes someday I will just let you know:
SPOILER WARNING!!!
Okay I love Heroes and a little lag in the storyline doesn't sway me from the show at all. Now the main premise of the entire series is that ordinary people begin to discover that they are developing superhuman abilities at certain points in their lives within a realistic but nevertheless somewhat hyper-real world. I know that sounds familiar...CoughX-MenCough! But this is the kind of show I've craved for. A show about superheroes and villains in the real world. Or as real as the world can be with superheroes and villains.
You've got a bagillion characters with powers: Hiro Nakamura, a nerdy Japanese cubicle worker who discovers he can control time and space (albiet badly). Peter Petrelli, a hospice nurse who discovers he can mimic other people's powers. Nathan Petrelli, Peter's politician brother who can fly. Claire Bennet, a confused ex cheerleader who is indestructable. Claire's father Noah Bennet, a former detainer of all things superpowered. Matt Parkman, a police officer who can read minds and control thoughts. Mohinder Suresh, a scientist whose quest to help people with abilities lead to his own abilities of super strength and agility. And recently Tracy Struass, an ex political advisor who can control ice and water while also being the long lost twin sister of a better character who got killed off awhile ago. The primary villain is Sylar, a former outcast watchmaker turned serial killer and stealer of powers. I like almost every one of them. My favorites usually vary with the choices they make of course.
MAJOR SPOILER, LIKE DO NOT READ
To briefly recap last season's ending: Sylar once again rises once all of the other current villains are dead or incapacitated and seeks to kill and assume the identity of the President. Peter and Nathan Petrelli finally put aside their differences and fight Sylar themselves. In the end Peter manages to take Sylar down, but Nathan is killed in the battle unbeknownst to his brother and most of the cast. Nathan's mother Angela, conniving matriarch of the Petrelli family, and Noah Bennet convince Matt Parkman to remove Sylar's personality from his body and replace it with Nathan's, successfully bringing him back without anyone knowing what happened to him. A dead shapeshifter who appears to be Sylar is cremated, convincing everyone that the villain is dead for good.
So now starting off with our new volume, called Redemption I guess because the word was mentioned in the opening speech, we are introduced to a helluva lot of new characters. Most importantly I guess is the villain Samuel Sullivan, played by Robert Knepper from Prison Break fame. Samuel is the shady new leader of The Carnival, a sanctuary of sorts for people with abilities. New leader because his brother Joseph has just died. Significant members of The Carnival include Lydia, a woman who can tell the future through tattoes or something like that (I'm not really sure), and Edgar, a knife wielding lackey with super speed. There is also a deaf woman named Emma Coolidge who works in the same hospital as Peter. Emma can see sound in bright and fantastical colors and discovers that she may be able to channel sound energy into a form of attack. Another character is Claire's college roommate Gretchen, played by Madeline Zima who I know as the little girl from The Nanny. Two female child actors all grown up who are no longer cute so much as they are hot and acting side by side as roommates in a modern TV show, it's almost inevitable that there would be some kind of romance between them. Well a romance in the works is implied, if it is not than a good kiss and exposition went to waste. Then there is Lauren, a former partner and near flame of Noah's from his days with The Company who provides a possible love interest. Oh yeah, Noah and his wife have divorced. In other news, Nathan is beginning to uncover the truth that he is different now, having no idea he is living inside Sylar's body. Sylar on the other hand is of course still alive and dwelling inside Matt Parkman's head, threatening his attempts at a normal life. Tracy Strauss is contributing nothing but drama. Claire Bennet is playing the same tune of wanting to be either normal or accepted while attending college. Playful Hiro is still dying and screwing at righting the wrongs of the past. Noah is again trying to sink into a normal life.
The events that have taken place so far don't feel like an advancing story as much as filler until something better happens. No one has done too much yet. Samuel seems to have been spouting the same speech within every new episode, not even Knepper's good acting helps there. Hiro goes from his childish dreams of being a comic book super hero despite his terminal illness, but then ends up in a repetitive state of demanding Charlie's location, his true love whom he saved with help from past Sylar but who is then taken away by Samuel as leverage. Tracy Strauss does pretty much what she did last season which was complain about her power. Claire complains about fitting in AGAIN. Her father does little to help AGAIN. The only thing interesting going on is scenarios involving the duos of Parkman and Sylar and Peter and Nathan. Parkman is losing control of the monster trapped in his head. Meanwhile Nathan loses touch with himself slowly as Peter struggles to make time for him amidst his life of saving people. Ah Peter Petrelli, the only figured out character who has always wanted and does use his powers to do superheroic things. That is a main criticism I've seen among those who give Heroes negative reviews: you'd think with so many superpowered characters a few of them would actually do interesting things with their powers.
Before the break we are left with a bit to take in. Samuel turns out to be the one who killed his brother for standing in the way of his true potential. He frames Edgar for his brother's murder, leaving Edgar to form an alliance with Hiro before fleeing. Hiro meanwhile disappears to "rescue Watson" after one of Samuel's carnival friends does something to his mind. Mysterious! Hiro has placed Mohinder in a mental hospital to keep him from screwing up things with Samuel. Claire and Tracy join Samuel, believing him to be the one person who understands their plight. Parkman returns to his wife for the time being after Sylar gets back into his own body. Sylar finds trouble however when Nathan's mind quarrels with his own. This leads to a pretty cool showdown between Sylar and a well prepared Peter, who precedes to defeat Sylar, disable his powers, torture him, and repress his mind for a bit. Nathan, tired of fighting, gives up his last bit of life. Peter is left distraught while Sylar walks away fully in control. All in all Redemption isn't perfect but it is pretty entertaining so far. It feels a little too much like Season 2 where nothing really happens and the plot isn't advancing much.
As far as performances go, the show delivers as always. As with Season 3, the top actors here are Adrian Pasdar and Zachary Quinto, who portray Nathan and Sylar. Pasdar brings out much despair and emptiness once again in Nathan, a character I at first disliked but one who grew on me. Quinto shines as Sylar in his everchanging personalties. For the most part he is the psychopathic true Sylar who enjoys nothing more than gaining power and causing suffering. This may actually be his best work as the killer, without going over the top as he sometimes does. The other Sylar is the frightened amnesiac (this was excellant work). Milo Ventimiglia finally had his big emotional moment as Peter in Nathan's death scene. It is good stuff. Anyone else I could commend would be Robert Knepper as Samuel. Maybe he just puts a lot of energy and feeling and method into the role that he just intrigues me for some reason. He has the makings of a truly destructive villain, I hope Samuel goes further than just one time main enemies that are easily overcome like Daniel Linderman, Arthur Petrelli and Adam Monroe. Also Mark L. Young, who played a tragic character for a few episodes, a teenager who couldn't control his powers. He was perfect in his few episodes.
So yeah, Redemption has not really impressed me as much as it has left me wanting the really good part of the story that will hopefully surface after the break. I will wait eagerly until that time. I just hope that they don't drop the ball totally because despite it's lag I think it might be shaping to be something real cool.
This has been a long ass fan frenzied post regarding Heroes from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Obama goan git em
Oh the sadness of Barack Obama's presidency. Oh the horror of the one preceding his own. And the countless bullet holes left in this country's honor left for him to mend. Of course he will not fix everything in a flash, even he has stressed this. There is simply too much shit to clean up. I won't go into too much detail on said shit as I have done that in the last previous posts regarding Barry O'Bama.
But still I must reiterate from previous rants that Obama is expected of quickly doing things far beyond his power and maliciously beaten down by the pathetic half of America. You know, the ones who call him Hitler. The ones who won't shut up during meetings that even seem to be heading toward a liberal viewpoint. The ones who still bitch about his birth certificate. Do you think any of these people would have denied Hawaii as part of these United States before Obama came along?
The point is with this yang country halve and his failure to make everything better with the snap of his fingers, Barry's points are down and dropping. That's bad. So recently, I'm sure in order to appease these fools with far too great expectations, Barack has been announcing his support to continue the war with Afghanistan. Earlier tonight, I watched as he gave another of his masterful speeches to a mass of America's soldiers. It was much better than George W's "Yeah, we goan git em" approach to such a speech. While I am not enthusiastic about this (just don't dig war that much), Obama thankfully did not make this declaration of war or continued war sound like the beginning of the end of everything he stands for and the restoration of our nation but rather the means to an end. An end to the Bush-Cheney Presidency's corrupt conflict. Someone on the Huffington Post commented that Obama seemed to have been choking up while in front of those young men and women in uniform. I might have seen it myself. In his eyes was not quite defeat, but sorrow. He is not far enough into the game to prepare for defeat already. No, this looks more like a smaller form. Something called selling out. Obama is forced to sell out his principles and one of his promises made during his campaign in order to boost his approval ratings and, with the utmost hope, end one of the dirty wars left for him to clean up. Really I think that's all he wants, to finish the war as quickly and cleanly as possible. He'd pursued similar action when ordering the killings of those dangerous pirates and kidnappers. Fast and efficient methods all to get the job done. I don't believe Obama is a man who seeks to continue violence.
I have not lost hope for a bright future for Barack Obama's presidency and, thus, I have not lost hope for a brighter future for America. I think in time he will make a glorious name for himself in history outside of the racial significance. He has the integrity and prowess to become one of the most prominent Presidents this country has ever seen. I hope the people's resentment toward him will only strengthen his resolve and turn him into a better leader at the end of his term and possible second.
This latest development with Afghanistan is not the first step in blotting out Barack Obama's ethics and principles, but hopefully it is the first step in building onto them and the last time he will ever be forced to betray them. He is a good man. It's hard to be a good man in a world as cutthroat as politics.
This has been another report on our current President from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
But still I must reiterate from previous rants that Obama is expected of quickly doing things far beyond his power and maliciously beaten down by the pathetic half of America. You know, the ones who call him Hitler. The ones who won't shut up during meetings that even seem to be heading toward a liberal viewpoint. The ones who still bitch about his birth certificate. Do you think any of these people would have denied Hawaii as part of these United States before Obama came along?
The point is with this yang country halve and his failure to make everything better with the snap of his fingers, Barry's points are down and dropping. That's bad. So recently, I'm sure in order to appease these fools with far too great expectations, Barack has been announcing his support to continue the war with Afghanistan. Earlier tonight, I watched as he gave another of his masterful speeches to a mass of America's soldiers. It was much better than George W's "Yeah, we goan git em" approach to such a speech. While I am not enthusiastic about this (just don't dig war that much), Obama thankfully did not make this declaration of war or continued war sound like the beginning of the end of everything he stands for and the restoration of our nation but rather the means to an end. An end to the Bush-Cheney Presidency's corrupt conflict. Someone on the Huffington Post commented that Obama seemed to have been choking up while in front of those young men and women in uniform. I might have seen it myself. In his eyes was not quite defeat, but sorrow. He is not far enough into the game to prepare for defeat already. No, this looks more like a smaller form. Something called selling out. Obama is forced to sell out his principles and one of his promises made during his campaign in order to boost his approval ratings and, with the utmost hope, end one of the dirty wars left for him to clean up. Really I think that's all he wants, to finish the war as quickly and cleanly as possible. He'd pursued similar action when ordering the killings of those dangerous pirates and kidnappers. Fast and efficient methods all to get the job done. I don't believe Obama is a man who seeks to continue violence.
I have not lost hope for a bright future for Barack Obama's presidency and, thus, I have not lost hope for a brighter future for America. I think in time he will make a glorious name for himself in history outside of the racial significance. He has the integrity and prowess to become one of the most prominent Presidents this country has ever seen. I hope the people's resentment toward him will only strengthen his resolve and turn him into a better leader at the end of his term and possible second.
This latest development with Afghanistan is not the first step in blotting out Barack Obama's ethics and principles, but hopefully it is the first step in building onto them and the last time he will ever be forced to betray them. He is a good man. It's hard to be a good man in a world as cutthroat as politics.
This has been another report on our current President from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
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