Now we've got us quite an accumulation of 2009 trailers, some that look like movies we really want to see and some that look like utter stupidity. It's my job tonight to sum them up as I've done before with other things random. Shall we...
BEGIN!!!
GREEN ZONE TRAILER:
Matt Damon as a G-man kicking ass. It's like a step down from The Bourne Trilogy and a major step up from The Good Shepherd. Not super impressive.
LEGION TRAILER:
Wow, watching this trailer I got the feeling like I've already seen this movie of war between angels, except much deeper, and more interesting. Oh yeah it was The Prophecy. This is that with Uzis. The only thing I really see this film has going for it is the casting of Paul Bettany as the hero and Kevin Durand as the villain. Otherwise, skip it.
WOLFMAN TRAILER:
You know the drill with Wolfman, no introductions necessary. But we've got a cast behind this one: Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, Hugo Weaving. Some badasses. It looks very dark and kind of interesting. The only thing bad I can see is the special effects (balls is what it is). Maybe see it, maybe not.
SHERLOCK HOLMES TRAILER:
Okay let me see if I got my math right. Robert Downey, Jr. + Guy Ritchie + a half naked Rachel McAdams/Off putting goofiness = a pretty enjoyable experience. Let's take a look shall we.
KICK-ASS TRAILER:
Come on, a superhero movie where heroes have no powers and get their asses kicked, featuring Nicholas Cage and McLovin from Superbad. Yahuh, I'll have me a look, but maybe not in theatres.
THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS TRAILER:
Odd title. I'm not sure what the hell is supposed to be going on here but, as career mindfucker Terry Gilliam always does, I am left intrigued. I guess a character played by Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell is trying to save some chick and a mystic played by Christopher Plummer from The Devil who looks like Tom Waits. Leading into a bunch of cartoonish dimensions where all sorts of crazyiness happens. This might be one I'll have to watch, then I'll decide whether or not people should see it while tripping acid.
TIM BURTON'S ALICE IN WONDERLAND TRAILER:
Gee, I wonder what happens. Well with Tim Burton I've done well to expect the unexpected and the trailer for his version of Alice in Wonderland is a real sight. Full of colors and admittedly cartoonish CGI. Burton's found another way to make his wife, Helena Bonham Carter, look weird in one of his movies and, indeed, another unfathomable way to make Johnny Depp look unrecognizable. It looks wild, demented, and fun like all of Burton's work. I would definetely see it.
DAYBREAKERS TRAILER:
As cool and interested I am in the movie after how serious the trailer makes the movie appear, I still find the premise silly. I know Anne Rice, a veteren vampire writer, has said that the vampire lore can be changed and with recent developments in Twilight I can't say she's wrong. But here, in a world where the population of vampires outweighs that of humans, it just doesn't feel right. The acting is what I think is gonna save this movie. You can't go wrong with Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe and Sam Neill. You don't mess with Sam Neill. He was Dr. Grant, bitches. Until I've heard reviews, I'm holding out for a rental.
PRINCE OF PERSIA TRAILER:
I played the game once...for like two seconds, but still. Okay can anyone really buy Jake Gyllenhaal as a Persian? He's a great actor I just don't think this is a role for him. Ben Kingsley on the other hand is another story. This British bad ass will play a black man some day. I mean his first movie role was Mahatmah Gandhi. Plus he played a very good Iranian man in House of Sand in Fog. Don't be fooled, people. I am in no way comparing the look of Prince of Persia to the cinema triumphs like Gandhi and House of Sand in Fog. It looks traditional, cheesy, and begs the question as to why these two great actors would be in this kind of movie.
CLASH OF THE TITANS TRAILER:
The remake of that movie I never saw. Clash of the Titans is apparently about a war between Gods, not angels like Legion. Who are the gods played by? Why Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes. Okay what the hell is up with the cast of Schindler's List starring in these shitty looking sword and sandle flicks that look like they borrowed production material from 300. Basically in this trailer Sam Worthington stars as Perseus as he fights giant scropions and the Kraken from Pirates of The Caribbean while grown up Jack from Chronicles of Riddick is hanging by her wrists and Neeson and Fiennes look pissed off the entire time (which I must say is scarier than any giant scropion or Kraken I've ever seen). All in all, this movie looks lame.
A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET TRAILER:
Like a lot of remakes, I think the trailer looks good but more than likely the movie is gonna be shit. The only thing it has going for it is that it has the revitalized powerhouse actor Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy.
SALT TRAILER:
Finally we're giving Angelina Jolie some guns in a movie that doesn't look like total bullshit. She stars as a CIA Agent who goes on the run after being framed as a Russian operative. From the look of the trailer she seems to be the one incriminating herself while also beating up fellow agents and apparently trying to attack the president she was trying to save. Yeah it doesn't make a lot of sense to me either, but Angelina is smokin' and Salt has peaked my interest a little. Wait to hear more.
THE EDGE OF DARKNESS TRAILER:
Mel Gibson is back after a long absence, he is an ex Boston cop, his daughter was gunned down right in front of him, he wants revenge. That's all you need to know right now. It looks every bit as bad ass as Gibson himself. Let's just pray he doesn't kill any Jews in this movie.
BROOKLYN'S FINEST TRAILER:
A movie directed by the guy who directed Training Day and starring some top notch actors as dirty cops and criminals, plus a story that looks very compelling. Oh yeah, this one might have to come my way.
44 INCH CHEST TRAILER:
From the guys who brought us the British crime masterpiece that is Sexy Beast, comes what looks like the British equivalent of Reservoir Dog. Starring Ray Winstone, Tom Wilkinson, John Hurt, Ian McShane, and Stephen Dillane all as British gangsters getting revenge. I'm in all the way. The only thing missing is Sir Ben Kingsley. Come on just cameo him as Don Logan for us Sexy Beast fans.
NINE TRAILER:
Nothing to do with that little CG Animated venture. No, this is a musical starring Daniel Day Lewis and every piece of hot and terrific actresses tossed onto a stage and strutting around in very appealing garments. I'm liking it. Even the musical aspect looks good. This one might not be a theatre film but it is a possible rental.
IT'S COMPLICATED TRAILER:
If this didn't have THE actors of the last generation (well Steve Martin not quite), this movie would look very cliche. Oh wait, no never mind, this movie still looks very cliche.
ROBIN HOOD TRAILER:
Ridley Scott is directing, Russell Crowe is of course starring, and we get clips of some of gritty action only Scott and Crowe could play out. I never thought the story of Robin Hood, which I had always attributed to that cheerful fox from the Disney movie, could be dark. Let's watch a Merry little movie for sure.
WONDERFUL WORLD TRAILER:
It's got Matthew Broderick, he looks magnificent, this might bring back his career and I certainly hope it does. Wonderful World is one I will have to see, though knowning my luck I probably won't see it in theatres.
REMEMBER ME TRAILER:
Wow, this Romeo and Juliet lookalike looks good. I knew there was some charisma to Robert Pattinson. Here he's going all James Dean on everything in sight. Plus Emile De Ravin as his beloved. See, I knew she wouldn't leave Lost for a pointless cameo in Public Enemies. I think this looks like a good match up. And just to make sure this isn't just for youngsters, we've got Pierce Brosnan and Chris Cooper as fathers of the movie's stars. I'm wanting to see it because it doesn't look like total done to death romadies...at least not totally. My only complaint is Pattinson pretty much paraphrases Morgan Freeman's last line in Seven to make himself sound cool.
SHUTTER ISLAND TRAILER:
Scorcese. Lehane. DiCaprio. Kingsley. Sydow. Haley. Island. Nuff said.
IRON MAN 2 TRAILER:
Okay this trailer makes it seem as if it will be every bit as good as the first Iron Man. We bare witness once again to Robert Downey, Jr. as the very smooth Tony Stark aka Iron Man who enjoys his newfound superhero celebrity. Than cut to Mickey Rourke as the villain Whiplash. Sporting bad teeth (well worse than his regular teeth), a Russian accent, and dual whips that would make Christ's torturers say "Yeah buddy, that is a bit much." In short he looks like a tough customer but then so does Iron Man and his new sidekick War Machine, played by Don Cheadle filling in for Terrence Howard. Oh yeah and we get glimpses here and there of Samuel L. Jacson as Nick Fury and Scarlett Johannson as Black Widow (which I do believe is the Marvel role she was born to play: a fiery redhead in black leather). So yeah, this looks like a keeper.
Skipping Avatar trailer because odds are you have seen the trailer a billion times on TV and you know it's gonna be awesome. So here is my second most anticipated movie.
INCEPTION TRAILER:
This trailer defines a teaser. It just gives you enough to catch your interest but not enough to know what's going on. Just from the few images we see, we know it's going to be a super charged sci fi thriller. Probably the most intriguing thing is two guys fighting in a hallway in which gravity does not seem to exist. It has an all star cast list, with Leonardo DiCaprio at the lead. Christopher Nolan is directing so you know it's gonna be awesome. I mean sure he's only directed those tiny unnoticed pictures like Memento, Insomnia, The Prestige, Batman Begins and The Dark Knight: blatant sarcasm, but he has got the skills to really blow us away and from the looks of it Inception might do just that. Still I need more. MORE DAMN YOU!!!
This has been the latest issue of Sum Ups from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.
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