Okay I've been away for awhile, so I'll have to jump in and talk about some things that seem rather juicy to the American media. No, silly people, it's not what Paris Hilton is sucking or who Perez Hilton is outing. There are just a few little details I have to address.
Probably what everyone is talking about is the apparent Al Queda terrorist bomber, or attempted terrorist bomber. Attempted why? Because of the fascinating explosive he was going to use: a makeshift underwear bomb. Yes, we can now see how much cave life has affected Bin Laden as he is having his men go to measures so extreme that they are fabricating whitie tighties from hell and bringing them through airport security onto planes. I predict that the C-4-undies will soon become a hot item for covert demolition in years to come, or at least they will if no one else tries to detonate it on a plane. I think Phillip Defranco said it best that if the guy is jamming is hands in his pants and fumbling around on an airplane nothing is going to end well one way or another. But the man was caught and the plane and all of its passengers saved. And thank god it turned out that way. But these days, I'm thinking them terrorists have got a special present for America in their pants and it won't be what we think. Tee hee!
For 2009's reenactment of the LA Riots, we have Tehran as the host. Just when you thought we didn't have enough excuses to call Middle Easterners savages with cause to destroy, we have further intolerance over politics to thank for this one. The protests began as such but quickly escalated into a violent outburst when Iranian security forces and protestors began to fight and then the riots broke out. Now these protests have been going on for months, they stemmed from the re-election of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. The Iranian people seem to think that this was all part of another reenactment, except this was of the 2000 election of George W. Bush. Yes they believed the election was rigged in favor of Ahmadinejad and have been protesting for months only for it to recently break out into riots after the death of a spiritual leader put protestors on edge. The resulting riots resulted in what could be 15 to 40 deaths among the protestors and 1500 to 3000 arrests. Hallejuah for the human spirit!
Now on a brighter subject, Rush Limbaugh has been brought to a hospital with a serious case of chest pains. Now I think this could possibly be another case of cardiac arrest, seeing as how it has already killed Michael Jackson and Britney Murphy this year. Or, sadly, it could just be a mild case of chest pains that happened because Limbaugh probably stayed at KFC longer than he should have. Oh I kid, as much as hate that son of a bitch I hope he pulls through. But still, a very dark part of me wants to see him in a vegitative state, sure he will become a martyr and a hero to the conservative masses but I will not have to listen to his fat ass talk shit anymore. Maybe that part of me exists. The same part that also kind of wishes that Glenn Beck would be put in a coma after a car accident. The same part that wishes that Dick Cheney and John McCain's senility and dementia kicks in. The same part that wishes a kinky sex tape of Anne Coulter would surface and ruin her image... moreso. The same part that wishes Bill O'Reilly will get into a fist fight with Keith Olbermann. But do I wish anyone of them dead? No. But I admittedly wish Fred Phelps would die. No I literally want to commit genocide on the entire Westboro Baptist Church. I hate them that much. I just don't like people who clarify how evil they are with every word that comes out of their mouth and are unapologetic. Moreso, I hate people who are truly evil but have convinced themselves that they are righteous and good. Well this was dark wasn't it?
So that's what's happening in the world and if this doesn't tell you something about the world I don't know what will. Well Your Modest Guru can tell you something about the world: it is not perfect or divine or wonderful it is waiting in traffic, it is getting cheated, it is going into labor after months of puking and mood swings, it is playing in the mud on a rainy day, it is smiling at old home movies, it is tears and joy and pain and suffering. Regarding my country, the American Dream isn't about making it big in Hollywood or one's triumphant prosperity after oppression, it's not really even about starting a family and being happy. I think it is about the fight. The fight to make it big in Hollywood. The fight to find prosperity in times of oppression. The fight to start that family and the fight to be happy. The American Dream, the very goal of our species, is to fight to survive because this world is lethal and unforgiving and--Wow where the hell did this sermon come from?! I'm sorry readers it is very late for me and I really must end this post.
This has been my distracted thoughts on recent news from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading and Happy New Year.
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