X-Men: First Class Review

Hank: "Are you sure we can't get you to shave your head?"
Charles: "Don't touch my hair."
Hank: "Right."

(SPOILERS, I guess; well, spoilers if you haven't seen the last four movies. You know what, no, shame on you for reading a review of the fifth movie when you haven't seen the last four.)

I loved the first three X-Men movies. Yes, even Last Stand. The Wolverine movie was meh. They are all movies dealing with being different, being repressed, and being yourself. They are also action packed adventures with a whole laundry list of super powered heroes and villains. X-Men was one of the first Marvel films to be released in the last decade and it gave a feeling of what was to come. That Marvel feeling where they take superhero stories and make them a bit more serious. Well, now we are on to X-Men: First Class, our second prequel to the first trilogy and I don't really know about it. I mean I like it but...I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me run down the basics first. First Class is the story of how the whole X-Men concept began, and also how two mutant leaders went from friends as Charles Xavier and Eric Lensherr to enemies as Professor X and Magneto.

A lot happens in this movie. A LOT. It takes place in the 1960s where mutants are just being discovered for the first time by the CIA. This happens when Agent Moira MacTaggert (Rose Byrne) finds out powerful mutant Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon) is manipulating US and Soviet forces into conflict at around the time of the Cuban missle crisis. She seeks help from Charles Xavier (James McAvoy), a recently titled professor of genetic mutation. Xavier, as we know, is a young and powerful mutant himself who can read and control people's minds. He agrees to help the feds, and soon crosses paths with another mutant, Eric Lensherr (Michael Fassbender), who can control metal, of course. Lensherr is out for revenge against Shaw, who wronged him greatly as a child when Shaw was a Nazi scientist in WWII. Charles and Eric soon become friends and recruit other hidden young mutants into their team to stop Shaw and his Hellfire Club of evil mutants. This leads to a series of events that are meant to explain some of the things that happened in the previous films, of course.

Honestly though, there is not a lot of synchronicity between the prequels and the trilogy. Things happen in First Class, important and very mentionable things, that are never mentioned in the trilogy. It's like Sabretooh being Wolverine's brother in the prequel when they didn't even know each other in the first film. Still, the things that we did know about and are now shown were executed pretty well. The whole movie is well done. It's just not as good as I was hoping.

I did get what I was hoping for with the entire concept of prequels to this series: a film about Professor X and Magneto. They were probably my favorite characters in the first trilogy and I wanted to see how they got to the point where we first met them. And we got that. I won't do any comparisons between how James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender play the characters as opposed to the awesome Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen, because they are different people between films. Both younger actors convey the older men's fundamental personalities. But this is back in the day when Magneto was a bit more reasonable (a bit!) and the Professor was the life of the party. But how they become friends and enemies was the best part of this movie for me. It was just as fun seeing the dynamic being established as it was seeing it being resolved. McAvoy and Fassbender carry this film, they are both very good actors.

The other mutants I wasn't all too impressed with. They are fun I will give them that. New characters for the movies include Havor (Lucas Till), Cyclops' older brother, I guess, who can absorb energy and project it lethally. An Americanized Banshee (Caleb Landry Jones), whose vocals are ultrasonic. An Angel (Zoe Kravits; Lenny's daughter?) before Angel, who has insectoid wings and acidic saliva. And Darwin (Eli Gathegi, from Twilight fame), who can adapt; it's hard to explain, but it's cool. I liked most of these characters, except that there was no real introduction to their team status. They just sort of are friends who would die for each other in the span of one weekend it seemed.
I felt about the same for the Hellfire Club. I guess I got as much as I expected out of Emma Frost (played by an underwhelming but stimulating January Jones), because Frost has always been a devious little sexpot. So I wasn't disappointed entirely on that end. Riptide (Alex Gonzales) can create cyclones from his palms, and that is probably the stupidest ability I've seen so far; I mean that is Heroes caliber of stupid ability. Nightcrawler's long lost father it would seem, Azazel (Jason Flemyng) was probably the most badass. Not only can he teleport, but he uses a sword. Not only that, but he uses his tail to stab people. He's basically classic Nightcrawler, just evil. Kevin Bacon as Sebastian Shaw is in his badass vilain element, I must say. Shaw probably has the most destructive power I've seen since Phoenix from Last Stand: he can absorb literally anything he is attacked with and give it back with devastating results. Bacon also gets to do a lot of different languages in this movie, all of which he spoke very fluently. He also plays probably one of the best Nazis I've seen in years.
There are other familiar faces as well. Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) is on the side of good this time as Charles' childhood best friend and initial team member. This was a fun element as well, seeing a very young and confused Mystique trying to decide between living with intolerance and fighting for peace alongside the Professor or accepting who she is and seeking dominance with the more ambitious and accepting Magneto. Jennifer Lawrence, fresh from the Ozarks and in all her beauty, is pretty good in this role. She brings depth to the sexy blue femme fatale we know. Also Hank McCoy (Nicholas Hoult) appears as a young scientist working with the CIA who also has ape-like feet and incredible agility. He tries to discover a cure for physical mutations while leaving the powers intact. Can you see where this is going? Hoult is good as a young and nerdy Beast, even though his role in some of the story's elements contradicts the first films, but nevermind.
You know that scene you always think would be cool to see where the heroes sit down and brainstorm on what their hero names will be? It's in this movie, and it was probably my least favorite moment.
What sells this movie for me, honestly, is one cameo in the middle. Anyone who is a fan of the X-Men movies will probably agree when it happens.

I can say much about the action or effects. There isn't much I thought stood out. Shaw and the Hellfire Club lay seige to a CIA compound, which leads to some pretty sweet destruction. The last battle is like a small war, and is well directed.

I don't dislike this movie, but I was just kind of floored with how unbelievably silly it was. I know, most superhero movies are silly, but this was almost like it was outright admitting it while also trying to be serious. The director is Matthew Vaughn (director of Layer Cake and Kick Ass), so I suppose he might have brought a bit of a sense of humor to it. It's set in the 60s, so it plays kind of like an early James Bond movie. There is a large amount of half naked women in the film, for no real reason. I mean I didn't mind, but it felt almost exploitive while not being complete exploitation. The first thing we see Rose Byrne do as Moira is strip down to go undercover, which sounds like an oxymoron, but oh well. It was Rose Byrne, though, so I was very grateful, instead. The politics, military and how the Cuban Missile Crisis comes into play was all a bit much. It was like a weird version of Dr. Strangelove. When you get Michael Ironside and James Remar as military commanders in just bit roles, you are trying to be funny. I seriously think Remar was playing the same guy from the beginning of Pineapple Express. But being it is Matthew Vaughn, this film can be hardcore and emotional as well as witty. There are some majorly messed up deaths and injuries in this movie, usually involving Magneto.

So yeah, First Class was uh... a little weird. It was fun, though, I enjoyed it despite of its glaring chronological flaws and in spite of its parody-like abandon. I got what I wanted and a bit more. I'm sure audiences who don't knit-pick the shit out of movies like I do will have a pretty good time. Probably an even better time then I did.

This has been an uncanny review from Your Modest Guru. And no one got that.