The US Government presents: results!

"Ha ha!" - Nelson Muntz

About a month ago, NASA scientists launched a device to the moon's surface. This device would then clarify as to whether or not the moon has water, seeing as how it has ice, and it having water could mean life could possibly exist on the planet in the future. Perhaps life could have even existed there millions of years ago. It was very crucial and exciting news.

Of course the majority of Americans did not know that this was NASA's intention. Oh no, no, no they thought NASA was trying to do something even better with millions of tax payers dollars: see how big of a fucking explosion they could cause on the Moon. Of course they were absolutely pissed when our vision of the device's missile impact did little more than raise a cloud of dust and debris. They were expecting a huge, flaming, MICHAEL BAY EXPLOSION. And of course the majority of Americans failed to realize that there can't be a huge, flaming, Michael Bay explosion in space because there is no oxygen in space. With that, everyone in America was pretty disappointed with the "failed" experiment. But they were wrong the experiment has as of late been a success as the device has supplied NASA with true information that the Moon does indeed have water.

For this I say WHAT NOW BITCHES?

Finally a recent scientific discovery that the world can actually give a shit about. While driving our cars to the Moon may be a little ways into the future, a Moon station, or possibly colonization, might not be that far fetched in years to come. This is really cool stuff, but sadly all those explosion enthusiasts have probably written off this NASA experiment a month ago as "FAIL", "EPIC FAIL", "WHAT THE HELL, I WOKE UP EIGHT HOURS EARLIER FOR THIS BULLSHIT!" And those people are the morons who will be like "WHAAAA" when they discover that NASA, consisting of some of the greatest minds in the world, wasn't all that interested in blowing shit up on the Moon. What fun would they have blowing shit up on the Moon when they're having so much fun finding new ways to blow shit up on Earth?

This has been an important scientific update from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.