Give em a chance

"An actor is at most a poet, and at least an entertainer." - Marlon Brando

Some people to this day do not fully appreciate actors. It takes a lot of freaking skill to make an audience believe a character even a little bit. But then again, not every actor was that shining star on Broadway or tour de force newcomer. Some just had the right connections and thought it'd be cool, and some got lucky. Very, very, very, very lucky. That's Hollywood. That being said, not everyone who comes along is going to be a new Brando or Freeman or Dicaprio. And ultimately some of these so called actors are horrible and can also destroy a movie they are involved with (I'm talking to you Sofia. No I don't care who your father is; you just keep directing like he did). Then there are some who are bad, but you can tell they are at least trying. These are the ones who usually end up being funny, likable, or at least memorable once you're done watching their performance. So I will take my time to talk about a few actors considered to be bad by some and how they are bad.

(Let me note that none of these things are limited only to "bad actors," because I've seen plenty of good actors do these things at least once, whether it is just a line or an entire performance. So there.)

OVER THE TOP:

Yeah, you know it when it happens. That point where your only reaction to a person's acting is "....SUBTLE!" Anyone can read lines, and I will go into those who do so with little enthusiasm later, but the more memorable are the ones who read the line and take it with too much enthusiasm. This leads to them being really goofy.

Going classic, my most memorable over the top actor is Charlton Heston. Heston was considered to be one of the greatest actors of his time, but looking at his films now, you can tell a lot of his roles were written as being a lot more subtle. Planet of the Apes is a prime example. While most remember his legendary line "get your paws off me, you damn dirty apes!" or better yet, "You cut up his brain, you bloody baboon!" I remember his reaction to one of his fellow astronaut's placing a miniature American flag in a small mound of rocks on the "mysterious new world" and all Heston had to do was deliver a cynical, perhaps even dry laugh. What does he do instead: he freaking guffaws. He does it again later, again unnecessary (maybe he was high). Oh yeah, and watch him hold his nose as he jumps from the sinking ship into the water. He does little over the top things like this in a lot of his movies. Sometimes the roles he was cast in were over the top just because it was him playing them; it is just weird casting the most red blooded American actor as the Mexican-American hero of an Orson Welles movie. Still though, I'll have to admit he was still a likable, fun movie actor who here and there had his moments of good performances.

Then there are really good actors like Nicholas Cage and Christopher Walken. Though they are very good in serious movies (both have been nominated at the Academy Awards before), they seem to take any role a studio throws at them and play it to the bone. This usually goes along with incorporating their own strange styles and mannerisms into any given role, so they are already a little bit over the top. And by a little bit, I mean "a lot." Nicholas Cage has this semi-smooth yet explosive hyperactivity breaking through the surface in his movies. And Christopher Walken just might be the most memorable actor alive, as well as the most impersonated. His monotone droll has been segued into just about every type of film scenario; he's been a Bond villain, a Batman villain, a scarred soldier, a struggling father, a mischevious hobo, the angel of death (twice), a gangster (god knows how many times), and let's not forget a war veteran delivering a boy a very interesting gold watch. The screen can barely contain these two when they're on, either by sheer awesomeness or absolute craziness. Look up their filmography, or better yet go on youtube and look up some of their craziest moments.

Then of course there is Arnold. Arnold-freaking-Schwarzeneggar. The Austrian body builder who took America by storm in the 80s and hasn't gone away since. We all love him. Is he a good actor though? Well, that's debatable. I mean if you look carefully at--...fine! He's not that good of an actor. I mean, I doubt there was ever a point the people at the Academy Awards were thinking "I think it's Schwarzeneggar's turn this year." They weren't as kind as California. No he's not great, but I still think he's at least good. I mean no one likes someone this much for this long if he's been terrible the entire time. There have been roles where he has played dramatic very well. And as easy as some people believe it to be, playing an emotionless cyborg has to be convincing or else we won't believe it and Arnold pulls it off. But really, he is best being over the top. Sure "Hasta la vista, baby" and "I'll Be Back" are great lines, but we remember the really over the top and cheesy ones moreso. It works well with Arnold because, with that thick Austrian accent, just about every word comes out of his mouth is funny. I mean there's a video editor on Youtube, hh1edits is his tag (look him up he does amazing stuff), who has not one but two ten minute videos just full of Arnold's corny ass or over the top lines. It is priceless. But hey, we love Arnold as is and he really can't get any better...well maybe the people of California would disagree, but I still stand by him.

UNDERPLAY

To put it simply, some actors just don't put forth the effort in their roles. Perhaps they've tricked themselves into thinking they are awesome. This comes down to a lack of emotion or just pure robotic line reading. Either way it can be just as unappealing as overacting.

Here are a few famous examples, all basically the same. Keanu Reeves, known for The Matrix trilogy, is notorious as a, frankly, wooden actor. While I think he has pretty much grown out of his bad acting stage, the majority of people just can't let go of his terrible acting in his early roles. I mean Point Break? Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure? I think the simulated world of the matrix was far more believable. Nowadays, he's either a brooder or a cocky bastard. He's good in each type. If you want to see some of his terrific acting I'd recommend Hard Ball or The Lake House (he cries in both, and is believable).

Kevin Costner is another A-list actor, and also a director and producer, who has starred in plenty of well known films. I think this is a case where it is how he handles certain roles rather than him simply being a bad actor. There are some roles where he is playing soft spoken or distant and ends up being just a boring actor. Other roles where his characters are very much alive and full of energy and he himself is alive and energetic. I really think people give him too hard of a time, but he really isn't bad at all. They give the same shit toward William Hurt (an Oscar nominated actor) who is a favorite of mine, and is also terrific.

There are a few very famous actresses who I've never understood why they were ranked so high at times. Kim Basinger won a Best Actress Oscar for L.A. Confidential (she was good, but not Oscar worthy) when a superb role like the trailer trash mother in 8 Mile is particularly overlooked. Or Halle Berry, who aside from the X-Men movies and Monster's Ball, has not been a particularly memorable actress. Then someone like Ashley Judd, who has more charisma and energy as a charitable activist type than an actress. Just perplexes me. Maybe these actresses' hotness gives them all certain benefits.

MUSICIANS

I have long backed musicians in movie roles. Most of them are pretty good. Rappers in particular have been interesting. Eminem, terrific in 8 Mile. He had real leading man presence, but then again maybe that was because the character was a lot like him. Tupac Shakur seemed to have an at least somewhat promising acting career before he was killed (his last movie had him and Jim Belushi playing dirty cops). 50 Cent was okay in Get Rich or Die Tryin' (a movie I really didn't care for), even if he did mumble his way through it. L.L. Cool J and Jamie Foxx both came into their own and have been very enjoyable. Of course the one we all think of when it comes to rappers turning to acting is the one. The only. Will Smith. The guy gained fame as a rapper, then gained super stardom as a TV star, then was Hollywood royalty as a film actor. Who the hell doesn't love Will Smith? Racists.

Country and rock stars have been so so for the most part. Guys like Gregg Allman (Rush, no band relation) and Keith Richards (Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End) have been good in minor roles. Sting is always memorable as hell; he has true presence, especially as a villain. I know Billy Ray Cyrus and daughter Miley have each dabbled. I actually found Billy Ray to be hilarious in a short cameo as a movie director's wife's lover in Mulholland Dr. a David Lynch movie of course. Speaking of Lynch, Chris Isaak is well known as playing the missing FBI Agent Chester Desmond on the show Twin Peaks and it's movie prequel Fire Walk with Me. Jared Leto, the lead singer for 30 Seconds to Mars, is a terrific and very talented actor. So I guess they are good too in their own ways.

Pop stars are 50/50 and that's all I will say.

WRESTELERS

I surprisingly always back up wrestlers and boxers too. I've always liked Hulk Hogan in movies. I think Roddy Piper was freaking terrific in They Live. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has pretty much solidified himself as an actor these days and I think that is freaking great. He is really good. He gets shit roles most days, which is unbelievable since movies like The Rundown (one of the best action movies in years), Walking Tall, and The Scorpion King both sealed him in as THE new action hero. Arnold Schwarzeneggar even cameoed for a second in The Rundown and only had one line while passing by The Rock: "Have fun..." I see that as Arnie informally handing over the rank to The Rock. I think it is great. He has great delivery, can actually read a line, and is amazing in action scenes. Give him more cool movies. NOW.

So there's some categories frequently mocked and downtrodden by uppity critics who think if someone doesn't Tom Hanks or Meryl Streep the hell out of a performance it isn't worth seeing. Well they can go to hell, because if you really look at these guys they aren't that bad. They aren't great but they never go Troll 2 = "They're eating her...And then they're gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!"... Yeah. And for that we can be thankful. Then again, The Rock did star in Southland Tales. Bad Rock.

So this has been a post from Your Long Absent Guru. Will try to stick around this time. Try! Thanks for reading.