A Side Note of Bullshit

"Aristotle taught that the brain exists only to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons." - Will Cuppy

I don't know if you've heard or not but MICHAEL JACKSON DIED!!! I'll give you a moment to take that in, I know it comes as a great surprise to those few of you out there who have no connection to the world whatsoever. But something you may not have caught in the around the hour coverage of the Post Jackson Civilization, Sarah Palin has resigned.

Don't clap yet, there is more. While I was hoping Palin would go away some place where I don't have to see or hear her, I was struck with the sudden realization that she will never go away. It'll be like Al Gore for dummies. I can see it now: Book deals, tv talk shows, fashion shit. It's not to say that she doesn't have some good traits. I mean did you know she can see across the world's largest bodies of water to different nations. That's gotta get people money. It'd be like a scientific goldmine. Or if that doesn't work out, she is a brilliant comedian and could no doubt grace stand up comedy clubs again and again. I know this one joke, it's really good. "What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull...Lipstick" HAHAHA!!! Or how about this one "What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pit--oh right it's lipstick." Or how about the one she said "What's the--" okay I guess she doesn't have that many jokes.

The point of this thing is that Sarah Palin was in politics for fame and fortune and attention. Sorry America, but that is not what we need to run a state, even a state like Alaska. And it certainly is not what we need to run a country, I'm glad most of us could see that. Now she will release a book that will no doubt give her followers orgasms and no doubt boil her nay sayers piss. Maybe she will even get a talk show where she will talk about clothes or celebrity gossip like seventy others or maybe, by some cruel work of the hand of Lucifer...She will talk politics. Yeah because she was awesome at that before. I will hand it to Sarah though, she can read and memorize shitty notes written by other people a lot better than I can.

So to the people out there who love Palin's good ol' girl, all American, George Bushian charm she seems to resonate to you, feel warm and cuddly with the fact that it will never end and the years of a world with Sarah Palin will last many wonderful years.

And to the people who honest to god hate Palin's horrid voice, half assed politics, and overall stupidity she clearly expresses every single goddamn day she shows her face, just rest assured that while she still roams free amongst intelligent people, while she still continues to haunt the American media, she will never ever again threaten the safety of mankind in politics. HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!

...

OR WILL SHE!!!

This has been a glimmer of hope you may have missed from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.