Apocalypse, Now or Never

"I don't think about technique. The ideas dictate everything. You have to be true to that or you're dead."
- David Lynch

We all know it's going to happen. I mean according to the Christians the end of days could come tomorrow or the next or the next day. Armageddon's schedule is pretty much open around the clock. But like all things, I don't think it will turn out the way we all think. Still everyone else seems to have their own idea of what's going to happen, so I might as well throw my theory in too. As George A. Romero has prophesized, when the end comes the dead will rise from their graves or morgues and feast on the living until humanity has been consumed or converted into these zombies.

I mean come on people there hasn't ever been as much evidence as there is today: Christianists, The Democratic Party, Keanu Reeves. Plus it's the perfect timing seeing as how the number of dead could overtake the living quickly. How very ironic, the ones we put in the ground have shot up to pull us down with us. There's nothing the government can do about it seeing as how the only the way to destroy the undead legions before infecting the human population would be to wage nuclear war (surprise, surprise). But that won't do any good because there are so many dead people everywhere in the world that we couldn't kill them without killing everyone else (double surprise, surprise).

Finally the point of this insufferable post, what does the little guy do? Everyone has gotta have a zombie plan. A plan detailing an intense and dangerous journey of survival and preservation of mankind. That's the question comment if you like with your ideas. The zombies are taking over quickly, you're alone and with little time to think what would you do. Where to run, where to hide, who to save, what to bring?

My plan: Seeing as how it's very unlikely I will be lifted up to heaven, I've devised a plan.

1. First thing's first, find people. More people means a better fighting chance, moral support, possible reproduction, and something else to get chased down before me. If I can I will save as many as possible.

2. Break into the local shopping center. Steal a lot of food, clothing and other necessary materials. Stock up on as much as I can carry, I'll need to last out the man eating bastards.

3. Weapons most of all. Typically a shot to the head will kill a zombie, but you never know. Guns and ammunition are essential and are the most important as I can keep my distance and kill. Knives, axe, propane tanks (for explosives), flammeable substances, chainsaws. If it kills them clean and fast I'll use it.

4. Hole up inside of a bank. Banks have security systems, it's made to protect. Lock up and keep locked. Find a route to the roof to check up on the zombies. Will move if necessary.

5. Can't just sit around. Will set up guerilla strikes against the zombies, this includes bombings and ambushes and traps. The fewer dead the better. I just have to watch my back.

6. If I can't outlast the dead until rescue comes or if rescue won't come at all I will massacre the damn dirty zombies. Using every weapon I've got until they've surrounded me in which case it's suicide, hopefully by a large explosion that takes a decent number of them with me.

That's my plan, what's yours?

This has been a detailed battle plan from Your Modest Guru. Thanks for reading.