Modest PSA #1: Jonasyndrome

DISCLAIMER: THIS PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT IS NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM EVEN THOUGH IT PROBABLY SHOULD BE.

Hi there, I'm Your Modest Guru and I'm here to inform you good people about a terrible affliction that is plaguing the minds of adolescents more and more every day. It's called The Jonas Brothers. True, you may think nothing of it at first and I can't blame you, you're a parent who thinks "well it's just another boy band fascination. I went through it and now so is my child. No harm done." This is false.

Every week a young girl between the ages of 5 to 15 begins listening to The Jonas Brothers music. As a result, the one listening to the music will lose seventy percent of their IQ and spiral down into a maelstrom of delirium in which they believe they must keep listening and insisting on The Jonas Brothers sheer godlike prowess and that their boyish good looks are not merely hallucinations. Other symptoms may be increased religious services and a chronic need for a abstinant penis.

Now, as I've said, I know parents will not think anything of The Jonas Brothers but it must be understood that these Disney endorsed teen icons are in fact murdering the minds of your girls. So do them a favor and dispose of their Jonas Brothers merchandise and let them listen to the honestly good musicians such as Foreigner or Duran Duran or the multi talented MC Hammer. They will scream and cry and cut themselves and tie pillows to thier ears but sixty years from now they will thank you for it. Remember parents, letting your children listen to The Jonas Brothers' music is like never letting them hear music for their entire lives...And it causes dementia.

So now you know and knowing is half the battle. The rest Your Modest Guru leaves to you. Thanks for reading.