Modest PSA # 2: Chucknorrillyis

DISCLAIMER: THIS PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT IS NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY IN ANY SHAPE OR FORM EVEN THOUGH IT PROBABLY SHOULD BE

Hi there, I'm Your Modest Guru and I'm here to inform you good people about one of America's largest and, unfortunately, least known viruses. It has many titles, indeed many titles, but a common one is Chuck Norris. A common misconception is that Chuck Norris is an action star, not a very entertaining one, but an action star nonetheless. You may also think that he is a sort symbol of supreme masculinity and conservative values. If these are things you believe to be true, than you have more than likely succumbed to the Plague of Norris.

In these dark times of economic and social turmoil it is understandable how some could fall victim to Chuck Norris' false image. A long time ago it was only people who lived in the most backward and socially obscene locations that would be infected. But now the infection has spread. Common side effects would include an undying devotion to Chuck Norris movies, lore and reputation, a belief that country folk are true American warriors, and a desire for muscle structures bathed in red hair. And by some tragic twist, the infected develop a preternatural need for quad bikes, country music, and family farms. This virus commonly infects children aged 5 to 18. The virus is as of now universally uncurable.

So do yourself a favor, avoid Chuck Norris fandom and dissuade others from doing so as well. Be warned, others who have become infected may froth at the mouth and try kill and, even worse, infect you. But if you save them they will spend the rest of their lives thanking you. Stay clear of Chuck Norris. For information talk to your doctor or local legitimate film critic about the walking talking and action movie raping virus that is Chuck Norris.

So now you know and knowing is half the battle. The rest Your Modest Guru leaves to you. Thanks for reading.